"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Some tips?

A

Aka

Don Juan
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I went out Monday and Tuesday with my friend, his GF and his GF's best friend. My problem is that I'm shy or whatever and I can't be myself around people that I've only met. Once I get to know them better, I am a completely changed man. I've talked with her, asked questions, she asked me some, but everything was too formal. When we talked in a group I was OK, I kept on making jokes, telling them stories, they all laughed, and all. But once I am alone with her my brain freezes. I can't say anything. I have to beat my mind to figure anything to say and most of the times I sound like an idiot when I talk. It is clear that I am nervous. I try not to make any expectations because I've just met her, but I think that in my subconscious I am afraid not to fail. Do you have any tips on "being yourself"? I was also thinking on asking her out alone one of these days, maybe she'll also lighten up then
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A

Allurre

Master Don Juan
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Nov 14, 2008
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Yes. I have a million dollar tip for you.

Relax. You're self-inflicting this thought constraint. It's all in your head.

Relax. This is not a mission, not a challenge. Consider it a breeze. You've got what it takes, but it's time to break out the cocoon and let your real self out.

Affirm to yourself that you've been doing this for years. Nothing new. It was all meant to be.
 
E

Energizer

Guest
It is you who needs to lighten up and while you are it, grow a pair.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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