"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Some questions on body language

sapphire

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I noticed that sometimes when I approach a chick and we start conversing she will cross her arms after a minute or two.


I read that when a girl crosses her arms it is a bad sign and that she is subconsciously trying to form a barrier between you.

However, I also heard that it is a sign of nervousness and/or shyness.

How do you tell which is which?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJDamage

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A little bit of both or just one or the other. There are other forms to detect the overall picture. One type of body language is not enough to know the actual mood of the person.

You can only know for sure if you notice with the crossing of her arms, her tone of voice ,look on her face or the conversation itself changes from positive to negative. If none of that happens everything is still good.
 

sapphire

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Yes, it's funny because some women who have done it I thought were not interested and latger I find out that they liked me all the while.

It kind of throws you off when they send mixed signals.
 

insomniac

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I've seen it as either a sign of nervousness/shyness or disinterest. If she initially has her arms crossed, she will likely uncross them as she gets more comfortable with you.

But, if she crosses them later...not a good sign. I was out with one girl for a second time, and we ended up sitting next to each other on a couch at a coffee house. I'd sometimes stare off to the side of her when I talked...not looking at anything in particular, just into space. However, she turned to see what I was looking at, and a few feet away from the diretion I was looking was a girl with a huge chest and tight t-shirt. She crossed her arms right after that...and I never heard from her again.
 

PRMoon

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When ever a girl crosses her arms while talking to me I tend to just stay focused. Usually If I've just met a girl I expect some resistance so I try to just be calm and turn up the charm a little bit. Try to impress, show her some brains, get her to relax a little bit.

No matter what crossed arms are you just want to keep yourself in a good rhythem of words and bend the conversation as necessary to hold her interest and not have her get the wrong ideas about you.

Easily said, easily executed, results are plain and obvious.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Skweints

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Crossing arms is NOT a sign of disinterest UNLESS it is accompanied with other signs of disinterest. (e.g. looking at watch, looking at sky, tapping foot, etc.)

Crossing arms, with normal eye contact, usually just means she's uncomfortable with you... doesn't mean she's uninterested at all.
 

DeathDealer

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Crossing arms/legs means they are guarded, it can mean a whole lot of things, but it always means they are guarded.
 
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