"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Some questions on body language

sapphire

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I noticed that sometimes when I approach a chick and we start conversing she will cross her arms after a minute or two.


I read that when a girl crosses her arms it is a bad sign and that she is subconsciously trying to form a barrier between you.

However, I also heard that it is a sign of nervousness and/or shyness.

How do you tell which is which?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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DJDamage

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A little bit of both or just one or the other. There are other forms to detect the overall picture. One type of body language is not enough to know the actual mood of the person.

You can only know for sure if you notice with the crossing of her arms, her tone of voice ,look on her face or the conversation itself changes from positive to negative. If none of that happens everything is still good.
 

sapphire

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Yes, it's funny because some women who have done it I thought were not interested and latger I find out that they liked me all the while.

It kind of throws you off when they send mixed signals.
 

insomniac

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I've seen it as either a sign of nervousness/shyness or disinterest. If she initially has her arms crossed, she will likely uncross them as she gets more comfortable with you.

But, if she crosses them later...not a good sign. I was out with one girl for a second time, and we ended up sitting next to each other on a couch at a coffee house. I'd sometimes stare off to the side of her when I talked...not looking at anything in particular, just into space. However, she turned to see what I was looking at, and a few feet away from the diretion I was looking was a girl with a huge chest and tight t-shirt. She crossed her arms right after that...and I never heard from her again.
 

PRMoon

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When ever a girl crosses her arms while talking to me I tend to just stay focused. Usually If I've just met a girl I expect some resistance so I try to just be calm and turn up the charm a little bit. Try to impress, show her some brains, get her to relax a little bit.

No matter what crossed arms are you just want to keep yourself in a good rhythem of words and bend the conversation as necessary to hold her interest and not have her get the wrong ideas about you.

Easily said, easily executed, results are plain and obvious.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Skweints

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Crossing arms is NOT a sign of disinterest UNLESS it is accompanied with other signs of disinterest. (e.g. looking at watch, looking at sky, tapping foot, etc.)

Crossing arms, with normal eye contact, usually just means she's uncomfortable with you... doesn't mean she's uninterested at all.
 

DeathDealer

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Crossing arms/legs means they are guarded, it can mean a whole lot of things, but it always means they are guarded.
 
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