May_Day said:
Everybody my age and younger texts when we get numbers. All the older men seem to dislike texting because they always say negative things. You guys are from the old school, so you are used to only calling up one girl to get a date. Times are different now, women mostly text and only talk to people that are really important to them. They text everybody else that has their number. I know girls who give out their numbers like candy. There's no way they can be talking to over ten guys a day on the phone. I know some girls who don't even answer their phone because they are too busy. If you go clubbing and get a few numbers, you don't have the time to be talking to all those girls to set up dates. Texting helps to weed out girls that you don't want to chill with. It also tells you if a girl really wants to go out. This post you makes you look really ignorant because you can't seem to grasp the concept of how things today work.
Let's start at the bottom. As far as my being an ignorant "old schooler" and not grasping "how things today work," my first cellphone was gotten in 1989 (how bout yours?), I was a software/computer dealer at the time repping MSFT and all the other main companies (were you?). People used to come to my office to gawk at my computers back then. I was on the net then too, back to the usenet and BBS days in the late 80s early 90s, how bout you? Have been an early adopter my whole life. Since, over the years, I've conducted several relationships that were primarily text heavy, one in particular HB10 five years ago texted me over 900 times in a month because I had wrapped her so hard with my text and other seduction skills (ever date a 10? a real one? I have been with many 8-10 over 25 years). It was a mistake to engage that way, more on that later, but rest assured I have the experience with these things and am not just blowing smoke like you are. I stick on this and toot my own horn some because I want to make it very clear to young men seeking advice here which perspective is experienced and correct, and which is "ignorant" or more accurately "lazy/
comfort zone."
For success with women,
break your comfort zone. Texting is the comfort zone today. Most excuses for not being successful with women come back to a) caring too much, particularly about rejection, and b) not being willing to break your comfort zone. Young guys, learn the above if nothing else, no one was around to tell me, so took years to learn that you don't have to spend because an "old timer" who has BTDT is telling you now. Calling v texting is a great example of where breaking your comfort zone will pay off.
As far as "calling one girl to get a date," and yours and others' "texts take less time" claims they are hogwash. Re: "calling one girl at a time" will wager I have more experience dating multiple women at once than you do going back 30 years. Also, and this is a fact, phone takes the least time. Text is "let's send a text, wait for a reply, maybe get one maybe not, maybe wait hours and see." Let alone all the button pushing with texting. Phone is "call and leave VM if unanswered, call and leave VM if unanswered, if no answer, reply or return call? DONE and on to next. If my seduction skills are so POOR that women won't take my calls after giving me their number, that's on me, and has nothing to do with the actual contact medium. Don't blame the medium of communication for one's inability to set the hook well and build sufficient attraction on first meeting. Don't be the dude running around bragging about all the number closes he got yet never actually touched a woman in the process and is going home alone. Don't be that guy. Others of us laugh at those guys.
Women, you see, generally take my calls or return them today. Moreso, younger and hotter than ever in the past. That result is a product of much work over many years and I didn't start out there, far from it. Have made every mistake, some many times. Texting as a primary communication mode is one of those mistakes I have made. If women aren't taking your phone calls, look elsewhere than the contact medium itself for your remedy... or hide behind the excuse that they are just "too busy" or won't talk on the phone with just anyone. Believe me, if you do your job right when meeting and first contacts, not only will they be answering your calls, they will start
calling you almost immediately. When they start up with the texts, call them and say "I'm a voice and face to face guy, don't your GFs and you get enough texting with each other? text with all them and I will handle the stuff that really matters, deal?" (said in a playful way). You just removed every little weeny texty boy from the running, have done this many times.
Mature, adult men don't sit and text interminably back and forth because we have real things going on that demand our attention. (other than today when I'm snowed in LOL). 1. Break your comfort zone. 2. Care less. 3. Set yourself apart from the rest of the texty kiddies. 4. Profit.
Turning to "women giving out their numbers like candy?" Well I guess there are women like that out there. They are LQ, regardless of age, and also attention wh0res. If they don't take your call, good screen. Anyone can build up a trove of LQ fake tan drama duckface queens and get some of what I call "misery leg" from time to time, not worth the effort in my book. Set your aim higher than "women who give their number out like candy." The best looking women don't "give their number out like candy," I guarantee you that.
OK to add to what I posted prior in greater detail:
1. All contact other than asking for face to face is bad early on because a) you don't know if any "one" is worth your time yet, b) it makes you just more available, no scarcity, low social value, like every other ATC (average texting chump). Texting creates too much contact compared to phone almost by default. It's rare that text exchanges don't turn into extended back and forth. With calls, you have control of the duration which should be miniscule early on. Later, after several (5+) dates, and never before sex, THEN start up with some mild texting (or not). If the woman is drunk, DTF and simply looking to hook up, SURE, text, call, send smoke signals, stand under her window with a string and a tin can, whatever contact medium you would use with the average prostitute, they all work with those types. If she's a normal non impulsive woman though, spare the text in favor of phone early on.
2. Texting creates false expectations that have bad results. I am very very good on the phone and via text both, but stopped the early texting presex because even though it had great results initially, it also created "BF" expectations, lots of psychic angst and bad resonance in these women, especially the less secure ones, and led to drama that the phone alone never brought. The sex and fun suffered as a result eventually. An analogy: Let's say you are a drug dealer selling heroin. Once the customer gets addicted, you have a junkie on your hands, they come around for more junk, they are not pleasant to be around, desperate, needy, a mess. But... they GO AWAY after you fix them up and you get what you want, their money. The woman you have hooked via text WON'T GO AWAY. She will keep bzzzing, bzzzzing, bzzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing trying to get more of that fix and will be a desperate unenjoyable puddle of goo when you are around her. That's the BETTER PART of a bad deal. The worse part is that puddle of goo will "break" soon enough and start the bad behavior, start playing jealousy games, flirting in front of you, nasty comments, playing sex withholding games. Then you have to next one who probably would have been salvageable otherwise, all due to the heightened expectations of too much contact, too much closeness and faux intimacy. I've experienced this well over a dozen times, having to ditch a perfectly decent option (plate), and too much texting is a primary culprit. Are "untexted" women capable of this bad behavior and blowing up your phone? Absolutely, but IME the odds are less when there isn't that constant "text tether."
3. The power of phone voice is one of the greatest seduction tools IME. It should be put to use on every initial contact, even leaving voicemail. Any time you have a legit opportunity to use your voice on a woman and to gauge her voice, yet forego that in favor of text is a missed opportunity. Working on one's voice is easier than working out, but does require some work, starts with recording oneself and playing it back, learning to speak emotionally but subtly. Get them hooked on your voice, not your ability to press 140 keys in succession or send clever lines like "wat up QT?"
Silence is ALWAYS better than a junk text to build attraction, as a rest between exercises of voice power, and because we all aren't Cyrano, most texts end up being junk texts.
Yowch, sorry for the length, once more, snowed in today.
