Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Some of you guys are dumb. You should text women

CaptainSaveAh0

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why do you care so much.
Read what people say then store what is useful for YOU. If someone says texting is bad but it has been working for you then keep doing it. Play to your strengths and go down your own path man.

As for me, I prefer not texting too much and would much rather go out and get to know the girl. That allows me to build up sexual tension and be funny with her in person. However sometimes I noticed I need to text first to get a girl comfortable with me before she goes out with me.
 

rascal99v

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LOL @ some of these responses. I agree with bradd80. If you are good at texting then do it. If you aren't don't do it. I have no problem with the method that I use. It works for me. Other guys I know have great success as well. If you don't like texting, then don't do it. But don't attack methods that are working for other men. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

These same posters use the same talking points against texting all the time. They are not even true. Chicks don't care about most of the old stuff these guys preach. They meet a dude they like. He plays them for a short time. She gives it up. The end. Kind of funny that dasein has to go out on 7 dates with his method. When texting gets you laid way before the 7th date Again, I don't care at all. It just gets tiresome reading all these text bashing threads. So I thought I would post a thread in favor of it. Whatever works for you do it. But don't hate on other ways that work because they work for me and others.


dasein said:
Texting is bad for making early dates (dates 1-7 or so) compared to the phone,.
This is only your opinion. You should be getting laid way before the 7th date anyway. You don't even need 7 dates when you turn the chick you text into a fvck buddy.

dasein said:
misunderstandings are among the most frequent mistakes men make dating. "I texted her and she waited a day to text me back, what should I doooooo? Does she liiiike me? Should I try agaaaaaain?" and 100 variations on that "text drama" theme.,.
Same thing happens with a phone call dude. She doesn't answer, then guys are asking the same thing. If you know what you're doing, you won't make mistakes through texting.

dasein said:
Calling and asking for dates on the phone then getting off the phone shortly thereafter is the most efficient way to set up face-to-face until you've been with a certain woman for a long enough time. The end
This is another opinion of yours.

dasein said:
Texting is bad for building attraction compared to face-to-face
There should already be some attraction anyway.


dasein said:
Now whatever other uses one wants to make of texting, knock yourself out, but anyone who thinks more texting with newly met women generally is a dandy idea to build attraction is spreading misinformation and in all likelihood isn't very experienced with women.
Playing several chicks at the same time is what experienced men do. If you ever had any plates you would know that.

dasein said:
Is it possible to build attraction by texting with a newly met woman? Of course.
Nice contradiction there. Then why are you bashing texting? The attraction already has to be there. Playing several chicks that you already met is how you get laid faster. Everything you talk about has been disproven with your same old tired talking points.
 

papawapa

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I got my current girlfriend mainly through texting. Here are few important things to know...

Be different. Dont be the guy that sends 100 texts a day. Use them to make her laugh, to build rapport, sprinkle in some innuendo, and dont be afraid to ask her how her day is going or to use emoticons.

Know your target. Some people are more comfortable with written communication. The more introverted a woman is the better she will respond to text game.

Remember that back in the day there were millions of spectacular love letters written by men to women. Words can increase interest level.


Dont be the creeper that asks for or sends nude photos. Be patient and she will send them first or ask you for some.

Use texting as a transition to talking on the phone. Once you establish rapport and a good level of comfort she will ask you to call her.
 

dasein

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rascal99v said:
Kind of funny that dasein has to go out on 7 dates with his method.
Didn't post that or anything like that. Nor did I post any "method," but rather the simple -fact- that using the phone early on with women is faster, more efficient and gives better results than texting. I use numbers of dates in posts to make clear to the remedial kids that it's not "wait to text until you've met her," or "wait to text until you f-ed her," and certainly not to describe how many dates it takes for me to get laid, but any non imbecile should be able to figure that out from my posts and their clear context. Life's gonna be rough on you toting around that diminished reasoning capacity.

rascal99v said:
You should be getting laid way before the 7th date anyway. You don't even need 7 dates when you turn the chick you text into a fvck buddy...blahblahblahstrawstrawstraw
And keep banging the straw man, what I expect from some of your other more political posts. You looked stupid in that thread and will end up looking stupid in this one.

But whatever, readers can decide whether to listen to an experienced adult man or a teenager on their own.
 

rascal99v

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Probably the last comment that I'm going to make on this. It's easy to see which guys on here are good with women and who's not. There seems to be a pattern with who agrees with who. The guys who aren't getting laid all agree with each other. The guys who are all agree together.

These text bashing guys are all in the same boat. They all repeat and agree with all the same false talking points. One poster who admitted to never being successful with women agrees with this philosophy. That texting is bad. Why should anybody listen to him when he can't get any chicks? He agrees with what these other guy say. That texting is bad. A few of the others are not good with women either. Birds of a feather, flock together. Guys I knew through school said the same things. They all weren't getting laid.

My friend is banging a ton of chicks. He mostly texts. It hasn't hurt him with woman any. I text myself. It hasn't hurt me any either. This is all a personal preference. Doesn't matter when it's working for you. But to come on here and to bash something you can't do by telling us it doesn't work is lame. Especially when we know what works.
 

Lotus Effect

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This thread is beyond gay!

Simply because of the fact that all you guys are arguing about different points, and I've never seen in any discussion, specially over the web, one side actually saying 'Oh my god, you were right, and I was wrong!'

So stop with Drama already! Some sh*t may work for you, while some other sh*t don't! But seriously Rascal! You don't just call dumb, or phony or old school stuff that don't appeal to you. You just ignore it!

You just adapt to what really works for you, and you go and use it! Some said texting is great, while some other will say it is lame! It does not matter, what should matter is what works best for you, and that is it!

For me, I was a lame texter through my whole life. And I saw I've lost a significant amount of chicks due to this! So I decided I had to improve that!

And so I did. And I've became an excelent texter. Only to find out that too much text is even worse than lame texting!

So I've adapted. And now I use my skills to a minimum, get them in state, and always leave then wandering...! They, as you can imagine, always come back!

What I've found out is idiotic, and common sense around here, but even if you are a great texter, with excelent skills, but you are always talking to her, and giving her attention, and replying to every single sh*t she sends, you are just another one on her phone! No matter how great you are. You are just another orbiter that she likes keeping at bay!

You have to apply in text gaming, the same rules you should aplly in life, which are

Be desireless
Be excellent
Be gone

...and all the chicks come along!

Cheers!
 

GS750

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Texting works for me. I'm doing it. I've gotten good at it. You don't like it? Call her, send smoke signals, stalk the b1tch. Do what you like...whatever works for you. But if I'm asking for a date I still call. But I don't spend a lot of time on the phone otherwise.
 

CrimsonPanther

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rascal99v said:
Probably the last comment that I'm going to make on this. It's easy to see which guys on here are good with women and who's not. There seems to be a pattern with who agrees with who. The guys who aren't getting laid all agree with each other. The guys who are all agree together.

These text bashing guys are all in the same boat. They all repeat and agree with all the same false talking points. One poster who admitted to never being successful with women agrees with this philosophy. That texting is bad. Why should anybody listen to him when he can't get any chicks? He agrees with what these other guy say. That texting is bad. A few of the others are not good with women either. Birds of a feather, flock together. Guys I knew through school said the same things. They all weren't getting laid.

My friend is banging a ton of chicks. He mostly texts. It hasn't hurt him with woman any. I text myself. It hasn't hurt me any either. This is all a personal preference. Doesn't matter when it's working for you. But to come on here and to bash something you can't do by telling us it doesn't work is lame. Especially when we know what works.
i would mostly agree with you if you wouldn't use fag (no offense to gays) ways to prove your points, like for example calling others names, and using shaming tactics to manipulate weaker minds to agree with you, because this somehow gives you some validation on a mostly anonymous internet forum.
believe it or not, there are guys who agree with you, and also who don't, that can get laid. it may come as a surprise to you, but there is a million ways to get laid, and not all are in concordance with your ideas.
what are you, some kind of texting religion preacher? we get it, texting can be a way to get laid for the more shy types. i also used texting to get myself some poon successfully. maybe others don't wanna use it, or cannot text. you think they can't get laid? some of them no-text guys have live game you wouldn't even believe.
others just acting up here. who am i to say who gets laid more here? this forum isn't a contest, we change ideas to gain more insight, wisdom, and not only to master the game more, but to evolve as a human being.
i don't even care if someone gets laid or not, i have a good filter to see if someone said a useful idea / insight, regardless of him being a ladies man, or just had a wise moment.

in the quoted text i found only one wisdom, maybe you should also use your own advice. i have made it bold and red for you. ;)
 

rascal99v

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Got a number from a chick yesterday. She already texted me today this afternoon. To prove my point to the nay sayers that texting works, I'm only going to text this chick to get into her pants. Will post the results and screenshots of the texts after that is done. :)
 

djthiago1

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dasein said:
Let's start at the bottom. As far as my being an ignorant "old schooler" and not grasping "how things today work," my first cellphone was gotten in 1989 (how bout yours?), I was a software/computer dealer at the time repping MSFT and all the other main companies (were you?). People used to come to my office to gawk at my computers back then. I was on the net then too, back to the usenet and BBS days in the late 80s early 90s, how bout you? Have been an early adopter my whole life. Since, over the years, I've conducted several relationships that were primarily text heavy, one in particular HB10 five years ago texted me over 900 times in a month because I had wrapped her so hard with my text and other seduction skills (ever date a 10? a real one? I have been with many 8-10 over 25 years). It was a mistake to engage that way, more on that later, but rest assured I have the experience with these things and am not just blowing smoke like you are. I stick on this and toot my own horn some because I want to make it very clear to young men seeking advice here which perspective is experienced and correct, and which is "ignorant" or more accurately "lazy/comfort zone."

For success with women, break your comfort zone. Texting is the comfort zone today. Most excuses for not being successful with women come back to a) caring too much, particularly about rejection, and b) not being willing to break your comfort zone. Young guys, learn the above if nothing else, no one was around to tell me, so took years to learn that you don't have to spend because an "old timer" who has BTDT is telling you now. Calling v texting is a great example of where breaking your comfort zone will pay off.

As far as "calling one girl to get a date," and yours and others' "texts take less time" claims they are hogwash. Re: "calling one girl at a time" will wager I have more experience dating multiple women at once than you do going back 30 years. Also, and this is a fact, phone takes the least time. Text is "let's send a text, wait for a reply, maybe get one maybe not, maybe wait hours and see." Let alone all the button pushing with texting. Phone is "call and leave VM if unanswered, call and leave VM if unanswered, if no answer, reply or return call? DONE and on to next. If my seduction skills are so POOR that women won't take my calls after giving me their number, that's on me, and has nothing to do with the actual contact medium. Don't blame the medium of communication for one's inability to set the hook well and build sufficient attraction on first meeting. Don't be the dude running around bragging about all the number closes he got yet never actually touched a woman in the process and is going home alone. Don't be that guy. Others of us laugh at those guys.

Women, you see, generally take my calls or return them today. Moreso, younger and hotter than ever in the past. That result is a product of much work over many years and I didn't start out there, far from it. Have made every mistake, some many times. Texting as a primary communication mode is one of those mistakes I have made. If women aren't taking your phone calls, look elsewhere than the contact medium itself for your remedy... or hide behind the excuse that they are just "too busy" or won't talk on the phone with just anyone. Believe me, if you do your job right when meeting and first contacts, not only will they be answering your calls, they will start calling you almost immediately. When they start up with the texts, call them and say "I'm a voice and face to face guy, don't your GFs and you get enough texting with each other? text with all them and I will handle the stuff that really matters, deal?" (said in a playful way). You just removed every little weeny texty boy from the running, have done this many times.

Mature, adult men don't sit and text interminably back and forth because we have real things going on that demand our attention. (other than today when I'm snowed in LOL). 1. Break your comfort zone. 2. Care less. 3. Set yourself apart from the rest of the texty kiddies. 4. Profit.

Turning to "women giving out their numbers like candy?" Well I guess there are women like that out there. They are LQ, regardless of age, and also attention wh0res. If they don't take your call, good screen. Anyone can build up a trove of LQ fake tan drama duckface queens and get some of what I call "misery leg" from time to time, not worth the effort in my book. Set your aim higher than "women who give their number out like candy." The best looking women don't "give their number out like candy," I guarantee you that.

OK to add to what I posted prior in greater detail:

1. All contact other than asking for face to face is bad early on because a) you don't know if any "one" is worth your time yet, b) it makes you just more available, no scarcity, low social value, like every other ATC (average texting chump). Texting creates too much contact compared to phone almost by default. It's rare that text exchanges don't turn into extended back and forth. With calls, you have control of the duration which should be miniscule early on. Later, after several (5+) dates, and never before sex, THEN start up with some mild texting (or not). If the woman is drunk, DTF and simply looking to hook up, SURE, text, call, send smoke signals, stand under her window with a string and a tin can, whatever contact medium you would use with the average prostitute, they all work with those types. If she's a normal non impulsive woman though, spare the text in favor of phone early on.

2. Texting creates false expectations that have bad results. I am very very good on the phone and via text both, but stopped the early texting presex because even though it had great results initially, it also created "BF" expectations, lots of psychic angst and bad resonance in these women, especially the less secure ones, and led to drama that the phone alone never brought. The sex and fun suffered as a result eventually. An analogy: Let's say you are a drug dealer selling heroin. Once the customer gets addicted, you have a junkie on your hands, they come around for more junk, they are not pleasant to be around, desperate, needy, a mess. But... they GO AWAY after you fix them up and you get what you want, their money. The woman you have hooked via text WON'T GO AWAY. She will keep bzzzing, bzzzzing, bzzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing trying to get more of that fix and will be a desperate unenjoyable puddle of goo when you are around her. That's the BETTER PART of a bad deal. The worse part is that puddle of goo will "break" soon enough and start the bad behavior, start playing jealousy games, flirting in front of you, nasty comments, playing sex withholding games. Then you have to next one who probably would have been salvageable otherwise, all due to the heightened expectations of too much contact, too much closeness and faux intimacy. I've experienced this well over a dozen times, having to ditch a perfectly decent option (plate), and too much texting is a primary culprit. Are "untexted" women capable of this bad behavior and blowing up your phone? Absolutely, but IME the odds are less when there isn't that constant "text tether."

3. The power of phone voice is one of the greatest seduction tools IME. It should be put to use on every initial contact, even leaving voicemail. Any time you have a legit opportunity to use your voice on a woman and to gauge her voice, yet forego that in favor of text is a missed opportunity. Working on one's voice is easier than working out, but does require some work, starts with recording oneself and playing it back, learning to speak emotionally but subtly. Get them hooked on your voice, not your ability to press 140 keys in succession or send clever lines like "wat up QT?"

Silence is ALWAYS better than a junk text to build attraction, as a rest between exercises of voice power, and because we all aren't Cyrano, most texts end up being junk texts.

Yowch, sorry for the length, once more, snowed in today.
This man is a prophet of Aphrodite. :up:
 

:-)

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rascal99v said:
Got a number from a chick yesterday. She already texted me today this afternoon. To prove my point to the nay sayers that texting works, I'm only going to text this chick to get into her pants. Will post the results and screenshots of the texts after that is done. :)
:whistle:
 

xupc

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dasein said:
Let's start at the bottom. As far as my being an ignorant "old schooler" and not grasping "how things today work," my first cellphone was gotten in 1989 (how bout yours?), I was a software/computer dealer at the time repping MSFT and all the other main companies (were you?). People used to come to my office to gawk at my computers back then. I was on the net then too, back to the usenet and BBS days in the late 80s early 90s, how bout you? Have been an early adopter my whole life. Since, over the years, I've conducted several relationships that were primarily text heavy, one in particular HB10 five years ago texted me over 900 times in a month because I had wrapped her so hard with my text and other seduction skills (ever date a 10? a real one? I have been with many 8-10 over 25 years). It was a mistake to engage that way, more on that later, but rest assured I have the experience with these things and am not just blowing smoke like you are. I stick on this and toot my own horn some because I want to make it very clear to young men seeking advice here which perspective is experienced and correct, and which is "ignorant" or more accurately "lazy/comfort zone."

For success with women, break your comfort zone. Texting is the comfort zone today. Most excuses for not being successful with women come back to a) caring too much, particularly about rejection, and b) not being willing to break your comfort zone. Young guys, learn the above if nothing else, no one was around to tell me, so took years to learn that you don't have to spend because an "old timer" who has BTDT is telling you now. Calling v texting is a great example of where breaking your comfort zone will pay off.

As far as "calling one girl to get a date," and yours and others' "texts take less time" claims they are hogwash. Re: "calling one girl at a time" will wager I have more experience dating multiple women at once than you do going back 30 years. Also, and this is a fact, phone takes the least time. Text is "let's send a text, wait for a reply, maybe get one maybe not, maybe wait hours and see." Let alone all the button pushing with texting. Phone is "call and leave VM if unanswered, call and leave VM if unanswered, if no answer, reply or return call? DONE and on to next. If my seduction skills are so POOR that women won't take my calls after giving me their number, that's on me, and has nothing to do with the actual contact medium. Don't blame the medium of communication for one's inability to set the hook well and build sufficient attraction on first meeting. Don't be the dude running around bragging about all the number closes he got yet never actually touched a woman in the process and is going home alone. Don't be that guy. Others of us laugh at those guys.

Women, you see, generally take my calls or return them today. Moreso, younger and hotter than ever in the past. That result is a product of much work over many years and I didn't start out there, far from it. Have made every mistake, some many times. Texting as a primary communication mode is one of those mistakes I have made. If women aren't taking your phone calls, look elsewhere than the contact medium itself for your remedy... or hide behind the excuse that they are just "too busy" or won't talk on the phone with just anyone. Believe me, if you do your job right when meeting and first contacts, not only will they be answering your calls, they will start calling you almost immediately. When they start up with the texts, call them and say "I'm a voice and face to face guy, don't your GFs and you get enough texting with each other? text with all them and I will handle the stuff that really matters, deal?" (said in a playful way). You just removed every little weeny texty boy from the running, have done this many times.

Mature, adult men don't sit and text interminably back and forth because we have real things going on that demand our attention. (other than today when I'm snowed in LOL). 1. Break your comfort zone. 2. Care less. 3. Set yourself apart from the rest of the texty kiddies. 4. Profit.

Turning to "women giving out their numbers like candy?" Well I guess there are women like that out there. They are LQ, regardless of age, and also attention wh0res. If they don't take your call, good screen. Anyone can build up a trove of LQ fake tan drama duckface queens and get some of what I call "misery leg" from time to time, not worth the effort in my book. Set your aim higher than "women who give their number out like candy." The best looking women don't "give their number out like candy," I guarantee you that.

OK to add to what I posted prior in greater detail:

1. All contact other than asking for face to face is bad early on because a) you don't know if any "one" is worth your time yet, b) it makes you just more available, no scarcity, low social value, like every other ATC (average texting chump). Texting creates too much contact compared to phone almost by default. It's rare that text exchanges don't turn into extended back and forth. With calls, you have control of the duration which should be miniscule early on. Later, after several (5+) dates, and never before sex, THEN start up with some mild texting (or not). If the woman is drunk, DTF and simply looking to hook up, SURE, text, call, send smoke signals, stand under her window with a string and a tin can, whatever contact medium you would use with the average prostitute, they all work with those types. If she's a normal non impulsive woman though, spare the text in favor of phone early on.

2. Texting creates false expectations that have bad results. I am very very good on the phone and via text both, but stopped the early texting presex because even though it had great results initially, it also created "BF" expectations, lots of psychic angst and bad resonance in these women, especially the less secure ones, and led to drama that the phone alone never brought. The sex and fun suffered as a result eventually. An analogy: Let's say you are a drug dealer selling heroin. Once the customer gets addicted, you have a junkie on your hands, they come around for more junk, they are not pleasant to be around, desperate, needy, a mess. But... they GO AWAY after you fix them up and you get what you want, their money. The woman you have hooked via text WON'T GO AWAY. She will keep bzzzing, bzzzzing, bzzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing bzzing trying to get more of that fix and will be a desperate unenjoyable puddle of goo when you are around her. That's the BETTER PART of a bad deal. The worse part is that puddle of goo will "break" soon enough and start the bad behavior, start playing jealousy games, flirting in front of you, nasty comments, playing sex withholding games. Then you have to next one who probably would have been salvageable otherwise, all due to the heightened expectations of too much contact, too much closeness and faux intimacy. I've experienced this well over a dozen times, having to ditch a perfectly decent option (plate), and too much texting is a primary culprit. Are "untexted" women capable of this bad behavior and blowing up your phone? Absolutely, but IME the odds are less when there isn't that constant "text tether."

3. The power of phone voice is one of the greatest seduction tools IME. It should be put to use on every initial contact, even leaving voicemail. Any time you have a legit opportunity to use your voice on a woman and to gauge her voice, yet forego that in favor of text is a missed opportunity. Working on one's voice is easier than working out, but does require some work, starts with recording oneself and playing it back, learning to speak emotionally but subtly. Get them hooked on your voice, not your ability to press 140 keys in succession or send clever lines like "wat up QT?"

Silence is ALWAYS better than a junk text to build attraction, as a rest between exercises of voice power, and because we all aren't Cyrano, most texts end up being junk texts.

Yowch, sorry for the length, once more, snowed in today.
Some good points here. I agree with all of them.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Texting KILLS relationships because...

*Sigh*

I feel like these texting arguments are starting to become a lil' redundant. Like, the "pro-texting" crowd is probably never going to see the points being made by the "anti-texting" crowd and vice versa. So, trying to persuade people on either end seems like a pointless venture at times...

I WILL say this, though: what I do find quite interesting in observing the arguments from the "pro-texting" crowd is that, many a time, the reasons they give for why texting is not a bad thing usually results in them actually proving some of the points being made by the "anti-texting" crowd. My favorite one - and one I've seen argued by tons of people on these boards - is the following:

May_Day said:
Times are different now, women mostly text and only talk to people that are really important to them. They text everybody else that has their number.
Does anyone else besides me see the problem with this argument? He's basically saying you should text a chick because she only picks up the phone for people in her life that she deems REALLY important. But wait - if she likes you and she's trying to date you, SHOULDN'T YOU BE CONSIDERED ONE OF THOSE IMPORTANT PEOPLE SHE'D PICK UP THE PHONE FOR??

This is EXACTLY why I lay off on the texting when I first start dating a chick - so I won't be put into the category of random UNIMPORTANT people she only communicates with via texting. See, a lot of you guys don't want to call for fear that she may not see you in that light (your ego can't take it), so you text her 'cause it makes you feel more "safe" about your chances of hearing from her. By doing this, though, you are missing out on an important part of testing her interest in you.

On another note: there's been this argument that it's easier to get women into bed with you via texting than if you were to call them. One, that's not true - it's been scientifically proven that the tone and inflections in one's voice has a HUGE impact on getting a girl to sleep with you. If you don't believe me, imagine Steve Urkel from "Family Matters" sending a girl a text to come sleep with him. Sure, she may be turned on by the words being typed, but that high-pitched voice she'd have to hear in person would probably make her dry up like the Sahara, lol.

And two, texting can get a girl in bed, but that doesn't mean it's going to keep her around long-term. Again, a lot of guys on here say "I got a girl in bed by using texting..." but then it's usually followed by "...and then I was on to the next girl" or "you can use it to screw multiple women at one time!" Again, phone calls can be used to do the same thing. More importantly, though, I think a lot of guys on these boards are trying to turn themselves into gigolos due to a lack of dating experience in their early life. The advice given by me on these boards is designed for guys looking to have long-term relationships, not multiple one-night hook ups with girls they don't care about. So yeah, if you're looking to just constantly score and don't give a crap about building actual relationships with these women, text until your thumbs get sore, then watch her fall away once you've taken her down. BUT, for a woman you're trying to have a long-term thing with, you need to spoon-feed yourself in the beginning to help her curiosity about you - and thus, her interest in you - grow. Which means not texting OR calling her excessively, expect to set up dates where you can communicate with her in PERSON (which is STILL the best method of growing her interest).
 

fuko2007

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Harry Wilmington has a valad point. If she is that intrested in you she should pick up the phone for you. I was seeing a girl and she only texted me if she was in a meeting or on a CF call. Anyother time she called me, i might call her once in a day out of the three or four times she would call.

But where we hit the wall was we both misinterpreted our texts wich led to conflict and the relationship breaking down. Slowly she and i stoped calling and started texting then something would get said via text and taken the wrong way and bam thats it.

Im not saying that texting is a bad thing at all but you need to know how to interpret what they are saying. To many ways things can get mixed up. Or just grow a pair pick up the phone and call. Thats more alpha than sending a message.
 

backbreaker

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What I find interesting is the overall changing of the goal posts


When I first came to this site in 2002 it was drilled in my head that talking on the phone with chicks was bad. Use the phone to setup face to face meetings. Get on the phone, get off. Dont' sit on the phone.


Now, it's like, that's not even an option anymore. that's just too freaking alpha lol. now it's well **** do i text or do i call her.


I think that's why guys like me and harry and dasein are kinda laughing at this. It's not even the correct debate to have. You've set up an additional buffer, to make yourself feel good when you pass that one buffer to settle on another buffer, but you're still using buffers.


I also find it interesting that the assumptions that pro texting people make about people who are anti texting. They assume that anti texting people are not tech savvy and don't know **** about the internet and don't "get it". Actually this is just what they tell themselves to make them feel better about not wanting to break their barriers.

I used to own a f'n computer company lol. I'm a programmer. I own a company that builds websites. That builds social networking websites. I'm about as "tech" as it gets. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that this stuff gives women more of an edge if you play their game on their terms.
 

:-)

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emailing, texting, calling, face to face - if she's interested she'll reciprocate.

if she's not interested none of the above really matters.
 

bukowski_merit

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Harry Wilmington said:
Texting KILLS relationships because...

*Sigh*

I feel like these texting arguments are starting to become a lil' redundant. Like, the "pro-texting" crowd is probably never going to see the points being made by the "anti-texting" crowd and vice versa. So, trying to persuade people on either end seems like a pointless venture at times...

I WILL say this, though: what I do find quite interesting in observing the arguments from the "pro-texting" crowd is that, many a time, the reasons they give for why texting is not a bad thing usually results in them actually proving some of the points being made by the "anti-texting" crowd. My favorite one - and one I've seen argued by tons of people on these boards - is the following:



Does anyone else besides me see the problem with this argument? He's basically saying you should text a chick because she only picks up the phone for people in her life that she deems REALLY important. But wait - if she likes you and she's trying to date you, SHOULDN'T YOU BE CONSIDERED ONE OF THOSE IMPORTANT PEOPLE SHE'D PICK UP THE PHONE FOR??

This is EXACTLY why I lay off on the texting when I first start dating a chick - so I won't be put into the category of random UNIMPORTANT people she only communicates with via texting. See, a lot of you guys don't want to call for fear that she may not see you in that light (your ego can't take it), so you text her 'cause it makes you feel more "safe" about your chances of hearing from her. By doing this, though, you are missing out on an important part of testing her interest in you.

On another note: there's been this argument that it's easier to get women into bed with you via texting than if you were to call them. One, that's not true - it's been scientifically proven that the tone and inflections in one's voice has a HUGE impact on getting a girl to sleep with you. If you don't believe me, imagine Steve Urkel from "Family Matters" sending a girl a text to come sleep with him. Sure, she may be turned on by the words being typed, but that high-pitched voice she'd have to hear in person would probably make her dry up like the Sahara, lol.

And two, texting can get a girl in bed, but that doesn't mean it's going to keep her around long-term. Again, a lot of guys on here say "I got a girl in bed by using texting..." but then it's usually followed by "...and then I was on to the next girl" or "you can use it to screw multiple women at one time!" Again, phone calls can be used to do the same thing. More importantly, though, I think a lot of guys on these boards are trying to turn themselves into gigolos due to a lack of dating experience in their early life. The advice given by me on these boards is designed for guys looking to have long-term relationships, not multiple one-night hook ups with girls they don't care about. So yeah, if you're looking to just constantly score and don't give a crap about building actual relationships with these women, text until your thumbs get sore, then watch her fall away once you've taken her down. BUT, for a woman you're trying to have a long-term thing with, you need to spoon-feed yourself in the beginning to help her curiosity about you - and thus, her interest in you - grow. Which means not texting OR calling her excessively, expect to set up dates where you can communicate with her in PERSON (which is STILL the best method of growing her interest).
I agree that this argument is getting old. I try not to go into threads that look like they're going to be about this anymore (and when I do - I rarely respond to anything.)

I'm going to start by saying - I am pro-text; but I see valid points from both sides. And if I ever dedicate myself to finding a good relationship - my style may change.

Now, I've bolded the part of your response I'm going to specifically respond to.

I don't think a scientific study showing that tone and inflections of the voice are effective at getting a girl to sleep with you is relevant. There's lots of things that are effective at getting a girl into bed... Voice Tone, Body Posture, Looks, Social Status, Scent, Chemistry, The amount of alcohol in her blood stream..... Just because something "may" have been shown to scientifically improve your chances - does not mean they are necessary. Just like I don't think it's necessary to text a girl to sleep with her.

Also, I've heard the misguided statistic that something like 93% of communication is non-verbal. People try to use this statistic to show the ineffectiveness of the written word. The problem is - 93% is only relevant when in the physical presence of someone. Through text - the text is 100% of the communication (although sub-communication is also at play).

What this means is.... Your word selection is far more important through written word than spoken word.... Which should tell people - if you're going to be texting a girl - it better have a point.

Most of the time I have 3 points when texting a girl.


1) Get her to qualify herself to multiple things.

In our initial interaction - I'm looking for this. Her agreeing with statements I'm making, telling me that she is what im looking for, etc.


2) Get her to open up sexually.

And in my experience - this is much easier for a woman to do through text than it is on the phone or in person. I personally can do this in any medium, but women seem far more comfortable talking about their sexual desires, likes, dislikes, experiences, and what they want me to do to them through text.


3) Get her out on a date or skip that and have her come over my house.

The later happens easier if 1 & 2 have happened. The other side effect of 1 & 2 are I rarely get flaked on. I also, rarely get any resistance once I escalate.



I've experimented with not doing these things, and my success rate drops drastically (and yes, my success = them ending up in my bed at the end of the night; not a meaningful relationship).




However, once I've got her - I text a lot less. AND the whole process of 1, 2, & 3, normally only takes 50-100 texts over the course of a few hours or days - and that will forever be the most amount of text messages she gets from me over that same period.




And lastly.... I just think people who are experiencing success with something should do what works for them. And a new guy just starting out (with very little success) should experiment with many different things. Not only is there different ways to get the same result; but there's different results each of us are looking for. To flatly say "don't" or "do" text is ignoring the independent variables of each persons situation, ability, & desires.



---
 

Maximus Rex

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And That's The Crux of Matter

Harry Wilmington said:
Texting KILLS relationships because...

...a lot of you guys don't want to call for fear that she may not see you in that light (your ego can't take it), so you text her 'cause it makes you feel more "safe" about your chances of hearing from her. By doing this, though, you are missing out on an important part of testing her interest in you.
:up: :cheer: and that's what I've been saying Harry, dudes are using texting as a crutch due to their social anxiety and ineptitude. These guys are scared to death (in addition to lacking the basic conversational skills,) to even think about calling a woman.

The problem doesn't lie within the texitng per se, but rather the rationale behind the texting, which is in itself is intellectually dishonest. If dudes just admitted to the fact their uncomfortable with speaking with women on the phone, that would be cool, but their not and they go into these baseless and misguided claims. Unless your P&V, (who's philosophy on texting I actually agree with because he's laid a solid foundation built upon strong game and a very impressive first interaction with a chick,) texting will do nothing to help most of these dudes on So Suave out of their shell of social ineptitude because all texting does is delay their growth by preventing social interactions with women.
 

VenX

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I think texting is a great way to get her thinking about you throughout the day. How many us guys get that warm bubbly feeling when the girl we like texts us during the day and then we can't stop thinking about them? Girls get that too (if their IL is high).

Texting is also a good way to measure interest level. If she has high interest level, she will reply every time and will even initiate (with a ton of emoticons). I'm not saying you should be texting her all day long, but it's a good start.

Use texting as a tool to get her out on a date!
 

SgtSplacker

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Threads like this trying to prove a generalization will never end. The texting rule has exceptions just like any rule.

Not texting a woman is all about sending a message that your time is better used then hers and cannot be wasted texting all day.

If for example you are rich or enjoy some other benefit to your game, and spend your days on a boat doing nothing you can probably get away with texting all day and still lay the girl. Because she already sees your value.

If you meet a hot girl at a bar and she barely knows you. Texting her too much will make her think you do not have better things to do with your time. And that by deduction your time is generally worthless.
 
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