"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Some girl told me "I love you" during sex

blueline

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and then quickly followed it up with, "Ehemmm, I love your thick **** thrusting in me." I was just about to climax as she said this, so I ignored it. I am legitimately terrified. I accidentally gave her a yeast infection when the condom broke the first time we ****ed and she texted me about that today. I've probably had sex with her 5-6 times max and just started doing it last week. The reason this is even happening is because I am way, way better looking than her.

I leave for another state to begin grad school in 4 weeks and she moves back to her parents' house for the summer in 2 weeks. I have a date on Wednesday with another girl. I've gotta **** at least one more hot chick (obviously, the current girl I'm banging is gross) before I leave this college town and move to my new city.

Anyways, this **** is totally terrifying. I do not want some girl I am not interested in for anything besides sex and friendship (she's a great person that I thoroughly enjoy writing music with) falling in love with me. I rarely have sex with unattractive girls without a quick exit plan (i.e. the girl lives in a totally different city).

What do I say? Even though she has such a limited amount of time with me, she's acting fucking ridiculous by saying such things.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Iceberg

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Bahahaha.

Freakin women think they're clever. She intentionally dropped that in there, so that if you replied "i love you too", then she gets her wish. And if you rejected her, then she could just blame it on being caught up in the passion of sex. Win - win.

You know what'll throw a monkey wrench in her plans? Ignoring it altogether.
 

blueline

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I told her friends I was bisexual in an attempt to get closer to them in order to bang one of them. She can hold this over me, lol. I don't really care, though.

Also, her roommate was like "you're getting with him?? He's pretty!" when she found out I was banging her. Totally want to bang that roommate, haha. I already have her number from way before I met this girl.
 

PRMoon

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"you don't luv me. You just luv my doggie style."
 

bigneil

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blueline said:
I told her friends I was bisexual in an attempt to get closer to them.
Ummm.... assuming you are male, how does your being bisexual help you get with her girlfriends?

I'm not sure that wins points with the ladies.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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blueline

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bigneil said:
Ummm.... assuming you are male, how does your being bisexual help you get with her girlfriends?

I'm not sure that wins points with the ladies.
You'd be surprised, haha.
 

Jaylan

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^the world is a changin I guess. Do you brah. Though are you sure you arent one of those curious fellows?

Because I never heard of guys lying about being bi to chix to get them horny, the same way some straight women do it to men.

Then again maybe things are starting to equalize. Hell if I know, I mean dudes fan-service each other in certain music scenes.

*shrug*
 

bigneil

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So the women are hoping to score with 2 bisexual men at the same time so they get turned on?
 
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