Some bad sh-i-t is comin my way HELP!!

[johnmich]

Some bad sh-i-t is comin my way HELP!! - - read me

Not to do with women fully but just listen i need help/suggestions/advice.

I am going on holiday in July which is in 5 months.
Its gonna be one of them arsehole / jock kinda lads holiday with a lot of wan k ers who will be doin stuff like:

Throwing suitcases in the pool
pi ss ing on people when asleep
flushing clothes down the toilet
wiping their ar-ses on clothes
throwing you in pool when asleep
other things while your nude

This is probs gonna be me cos i am the smallest and they dont have the most respect for me.
In the time up until this, im gonna try buffing up a bit, for the hol, and gettin to be better mates with em. I got a good mate but he will sell me out cos hes just as worried bout this sh-it as me.

so
I need advice on how to avoid this.
Suggestions on sh-it i can do back to them that is better than what they can do to me.
Advice on how to handle it at the time.

This is to save my clothes and myself as i dont want to lose social proof etc.

Any comments help welcome. Cheer guys.

PS any examples of stuff youve done before, VERY welcome.

 

[Tomatoes]

Get better mates....they seem like ****ing monkehs

Whats this got to do with being a DJ anyways

 

[Nighthawk]

You and your friends are gay.

 

[Unregistered]

Why are you going somewhere to be tormented?

 

[johnmich]

not to be rude

but come on guys i need help.

we call it banter, a laugh, a joke etc

if this sh!t affects you then you are a wimp. You jus do it back because its FUNNY

 

[racerX]

That is funny. I dont think i could sleep knowing some clown might piss on me....that doesnt sound like a vacation to me. Why go anywhere w/ those fools?

 

[reyalp]

And really, you couldn't make a thread title without cursing?

 

[johnmich]

why can i not get a reply that i want. I saw my thread and thought "6 replies, yes, some advice" and its just all this crap.

So i cursed in the title. if you dont like it go to church.

Can anyone help with this at all?

PLEASE PLEASE do NOT post if your gonna say they are not your friends or why go.

 

[reyalp]

Get a tazer. Zap the first dude who starts anything.

 

[johnmich]

come on guys.

Some of you must of pulled a prank / joke on somone before. Or are you all boring bastards?

ps - dont want to get the tazer taken off me and then me gettin zapped with it. Good idea tho.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by johnmich
not to be rude

but come on guys i need help.

we call it banter, a laugh, a joke etc

if this sh!t affects you then you are a wimp. You jus do it back because its FUNNY

You just answered your own question.

 

[johnmich]

you know i thought i wouldda got at least one answer that would help me or some suggestions. Clearly i was wrong.
What is wrong with you lot?

Is it cos you are from america, i mean you guys are wimps. look at the NHL, with their helmets and padding and whatnot, i bet they cant feel a thing through it. They are girls.

Then look at rugby, a great british sport. Crunch the hell outta each with NO padding and still carry on.

My god i thank my lucky stars i am british.

Everyone from america please dont try to argue against me, for i have already won - i live in Great Britain.

:cheer:

No offense to british, because all these crap replies were from americans.

lol- and then theres bush .....

:crackup:

 

[reyalp]

well, if you're drawing assumptions about the people of the Americas versus the Britons solely from this thread:

The Americans are decidedly more intelligent.


you shouldn't have gone that route, lad.

 

[Unregistered]

Wow, we really pissed off this limey by suggesting he learn a little self-respect.

Observe his bizzarre, insecure behavior:

This is probs gonna be me cos i am the smallest and they dont have the most respect for me.

I got a good mate but he will sell me out cos hes just as worried bout this sh-it as me.

and then:

we call it banter, a laugh, a joke etc

If it's so much fun, then why are you so worried about it? You said yourself that they don't have much respect for you. I don't know about anyone else, but if someone refuses to respect me, then we are not going to be hanging out at all. Dueling, perhaps, but definitely not socializing.

There's a difference between a prank and a flat-out azzhole move. Some things are harmless, like drawing on a guywho's passed out drunk. Others are just cruel and idiotic, like ruining clothes and urinating on people. There's also a difference between messing with someone a little bit and completely tormenting them. It seems like you're afraid of being tormented.

Since you wanted advice, here is my wisdom:

People will treat you as badly as you let them.

So it's up to you. Demand respect. Whatever it takes. If they don't give it to you, then they're not worth your time.

 

[Derek Flint]

Originally posted by johnmich
you know i thought i wouldda got at least one answer that would help me or some suggestions. Clearly i was wrong.
What is wrong with you lot?

Is it cos you are from america, i mean you guys are wimps. look at the NHL, with their helmets and padding and whatnot, i bet they cant feel a thing through it. They are girls.

Then look at rugby, a great british sport. Crunch the hell outta each with NO padding and still carry on.

My god i thank my lucky stars i am british.

Everyone from america please dont try to argue against me, for i have already won - i live in Great Britain.

:cheer:

No offense to british, because all these crap replies were from americans.

lol- and then theres bush .....

:crackup:

Oh please - your baseball players (Cricket Players) wear pads and helmets, so you have no room to talk.

 

[So Many Ways]

Take a burner with you. When someone pisses on your clothes, put a hole in his head. Then your tormentors will respect you.

 

[James Bondage]

Is it cos you are from america, i mean you guys are wimps. look at the NHL, with their helmets and padding and whatnot, i bet they cant feel a thing through it. They are girls.

Yeah and another thing (NFL), how can you call it FOOTBALL when the 'ball' is thrown with your hands?!?



Lol. Anyways to answer your question John, I guess the best option is, like 'Unregistered' says... demand respect. Try and spend as much time with these guys before the holiday as you can.. and try and gain as much respect as you can from them.

Just cos ur the smallest.. doesn't automatically mean you should be the main target of the abuse. Try to be the 'Alpha' (or one of the top boys) if possible.. be as confident and outspoken as you can be, gain as much rapport with them as you can, try to be seen pulling a few girls etc.. anything that will increase your status in their eyes.

The one who they respect the least will always be the one getting the most abuse. Always.

Oh, and suggestions for pranks?? Easy. When someone is asleep, fill a bowl of cold water and gently place one of their hands in it, making sure not to wake them. Leave for 10 mins or so, and PRESTO!! Instant bed-wetting time!!

 

[Tomatoes]

Oh just because this gimp and his imuture mates that like pissing on each other are from Britian thats no need to start a war. I am from the UK and we are not freaks. I get on with americans....esp your girls


Like the US. But American sport is really really boring.....Baseball and NFL. Argh....

You guys rock at the Olympics and did well in the last FOOTBALL (soccer) world cup thow.

Im sure there is alot of patriotism on this board so lets not start a fight over patriotic bull when we are here to score with girls.....Except Johnmich. Who is a little strange.

 

[Nighthawk]

Gay/Not Gay by King Missile

"I saw an episode of The Jerry Springer Show, and the topic was "Transvestites and the Men Who Love Them." And the guy was on with his "girlfriend," and he was saying "To me, this is a beautiful woman. She's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her, and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, does that make me gay?" Most of the audience thought so, and so did I. But it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay.


Discussing sex with a guy is gay. Discussing sex with a women is straight. Even telling a woman "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a ****," is straight.


Sports are gay, especially contact sports, unless you're the only guy on both teams, in which case it's straight.


Gyms are always gay, because afterwards, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that is gay.


Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich. It is neither straight nor gay. Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay. Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more other women only is staright.


Here's an interesting one: Kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or letting him kiss you on the cheek is neutral, as long as the guy is out of the closet. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy is gay.


See, look, I know I'm homophobic, but not about gay guys. They don't bother me at all. It's straight guys who don't know their gay... they **** my **** right up.


Like a guy calls me up and says, "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch the football game and drink beer and eat chips and, you know, maybe wrestle with each other, just us guys. You wanna come over?" And I'm like, "No."


Ok, you got a guy sucking your ****, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants youv'e ever seen, even if you're saying to him "Suck it, *****, I know you like it, you slut, you *****!" that's gay.


Conversely, if a woman straps on a dildo, and you're dressed like a woman, and you're sucking her ****, and she's saying, "You like it, don't you? You like sucking my **** you little ****ing faggot," and then she rolls you over and ****s you in the ass and says "You love it you little ***** boy! You love getting ****ed in the ass. I'll bet you wish I was a man! I'll bet you wish this was a real ****, you ****ing faggot!" and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before, that's still straight.


But then, if you go off to the bar, and discuss this, or any other sexual experience with guys, that's gay.


Here's the most interesting one. Sucking a guys **** can, under certain rare cirumstances, be staright. Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is that whoever loses has to be the other's sex slave for an entire night... you know, the kind of stuff that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time. And you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy. That's not gay. I don't know exactly why, but it isn't."

 

[Don Ronny]

The solution to your problem is simple. You just need some supplies..

- Digital Camera (be sure to turn off flash)
- Tabasco Sauce
- One large, realistic looking dildo

1. Wait till they are all sleeping

2. Grab their tooth brushes and scratch your assh0le with them. Seriously, dont be shy... dig in there!

3. Take snapshots of their sleeping faces with the big dildo near their mouths...it will look like their eye are closed in ecstacy, LOL! For added effect, you can put some white hand cream on the tip so it looks like jizz.

4. Pour tabasco sauce on their lips so they get a rude awakening. The effect takes about 2 minutes, so be sure you are all packed and get the hell out of there before they wake. (Feel free to listen to their screams of agony from your car before you peel out.)

5. When you get home, be sure to post the gay pics on the internet so people will see what fags your friends are.

6. Get new friends and watch your back!

Problem solved. Now, where is my medal?