Some advice for a person with OCD on cold approach

[in_need_of_help]

Hello all. Since English isn’t my first language, there could be some mistakes so sorry for that in advance.

I’m 23 years old and have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is a mental disorder. I’ll come to this in a minute. I’m getting treatment for it but the treatment isn’t that effective and I don’t know why. I’m going to a psychiatrist and a therapist.

When I was 20, I learned about cold approach and at the age of 21, I met with a woman through it and she was 10 years older than me. After being together with her for 1.5 years, we broke up – due to a mistake that I made. After that, I kept cold approaching and got on a few dates, kissed 2 girls but nothing more.

What I wanted to ask you is this: Lately, since almost like a year, I’m not having any success on cold approach (even though I didn’t approach too often) and my OCD makes me think like, “What if you’ll be unlucky for the rest of your life? What if there’s some sort of a unluckiness/spell on you that’ll make you always get rejected and stay single for the rest of your life? Or what if you’re gonna find somebody at the age of 30 or 35 and stay single until that time?” My mind doesn’t work like a normal person’s mind therefore these are the questions and worries that I’m dealing with. I know that life and future is full of uncertainties but I’ve an intolerance towards it and it’s making me very anxious and obsessed with these thougts.

I’m talking to my doctor and therapist about all this but they’re doing their best and as you know they aren’t gonna find me a girl. I have to do it myself but at this point, my mind is full of all these worries, uncertainties, anxieties, obsessive thoughts, etc…

Could you please give me some advice? Am I going to find somebody eventually because it’s a numbers game? But what if I can’t? And if I’m gonna find somebody, how will I wait until that time with all this uncertainty?

Thanks.

 

[Learning Curve]

Hello all. Since English isn’t my first language, there could be some mistakes so sorry for that in advance.

I’m 23 years old and have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is a mental disorder. I’ll come to this in a minute. I’m getting treatment for it but the treatment isn’t that effective and I don’t know why. I’m going to a psychiatrist and a therapist.

When I was 20, I learned about cold approach and at the age of 21, I met with a woman through it and she was 10 years older than me. After being together with her for 1.5 years, we broke up – due to a mistake that I made. After that, I kept cold approaching and got on a few dates, kissed 2 girls but nothing more.

What I wanted to ask you is this: Lately, since almost like a year, I’m not having any success on cold approach (even though I didn’t approach too often) and my OCD makes me think like, “What if you’ll be unlucky for the rest of your life? What if there’s some sort of a unluckiness/spell on you that’ll make you always get rejected and stay single for the rest of your life? Or what if you’re gonna find somebody at the age of 30 or 35 and stay single until that time?” My mind doesn’t work like a normal person’s mind therefore these are the questions and worries that I’m dealing with. I know that life and future is full of uncertainties but I’ve an intolerance towards it and it’s making me very anxious and obsessed with these thougts.

I’m talking to my doctor and therapist about all this but they’re doing their best and as you know they aren’t gonna find me a girl. I have to do it myself but at this point, my mind is full of all these worries, uncertainties, anxieties, obsessive thoughts, etc…

Could you please give me some advice? Am I going to find somebody eventually because it’s a numbers game? But what if I can’t? And if I’m gonna find somebody, how will I wait until that time with all this uncertainty?

Thanks.

To be honest brother.

I know people with OCD and what you are describing may be related since is creating obsessive thoughts but what you think you are.

If you think every single time what you described it will happen.

Change your mindset, and don't blame OCD for you having weak thoughts. Rejection is part of life, exploring and searching for the unknown is also part of life. Nobody knows where you will be 10 years from now. It's all about proper planning and execution to get where you want.

Stop over-thinking of OCD too much as it's something that is controllable and change your mindset. Learn to cold-approach firstly to increase your success and secondly work on ur self from top to bottom.

 

[Kotaix]

Hello all. Since English isn’t my first language, there could be some mistakes so sorry for that in advance.

I’m 23 years old and have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is a mental disorder. I’ll come to this in a minute. I’m getting treatment for it but the treatment isn’t that effective and I don’t know why. I’m going to a psychiatrist and a therapist.

When I was 20, I learned about cold approach and at the age of 21, I met with a woman through it and she was 10 years older than me. After being together with her for 1.5 years, we broke up – due to a mistake that I made. After that, I kept cold approaching and got on a few dates, kissed 2 girls but nothing more.

What I wanted to ask you is this: Lately, since almost like a year, I’m not having any success on cold approach (even though I didn’t approach too often) and my OCD makes me think like, “What if you’ll be unlucky for the rest of your life? What if there’s some sort of a unluckiness/spell on you that’ll make you always get rejected and stay single for the rest of your life? Or what if you’re gonna find somebody at the age of 30 or 35 and stay single until that time?” My mind doesn’t work like a normal person’s mind therefore these are the questions and worries that I’m dealing with. I know that life and future is full of uncertainties but I’ve an intolerance towards it and it’s making me very anxious and obsessed with these thougts.

I’m talking to my doctor and therapist about all this but they’re doing their best and as you know they aren’t gonna find me a girl. I have to do it myself but at this point, my mind is full of all these worries, uncertainties, anxieties, obsessive thoughts, etc…

Could you please give me some advice? Am I going to find somebody eventually because it’s a numbers game? But what if I can’t? And if I’m gonna find somebody, how will I wait until that time with all this uncertainty?

Thanks.

I'm not OCD, but I'm familiar with the downward spiral of thoughts that you're talking about. There was a time when I went thru exactly the same thing.

I recommend you explore Buddhism since it's the direct antidote to your problem, aka pathological levels of overthinking.

Living alone will exacerbate the problem.

 

[in_need_of_help]

I'm not OCD, but I'm familiar with the downward spiral of thoughts that you're talking about. There was a time when I went thru exactly the same thing.

I recommend you explore Buddhism since it's the direct antidote to your problem, aka pathological levels of overthinking.

Living alone will exacerbate the problem.

How will Buddhism help me? Probably you mean that I don't have to be a Buddhist but only take what'll be good for me. But that doesn't really make that much sense. So is Buddhism true or not? If it's true then I have to be a Buddhist. If it's not true, then I can take what's good for me but does that also mean something can include something true and still not be true?

 

[in_need_of_help]

To be honest brother.

I know people with OCD and what you are describing may be related since is creating obsessive thoughts but what you think you are.

If you think every single time what you described it will happen.

Change your mindset, and don't blame OCD for you having weak thoughts. Rejection is part of life, exploring and searching for the unknown is also part of life. Nobody knows where you will be 10 years from now. It's all about proper planning and execution to get where you want.

Stop over-thinking of OCD too much as it's something that is controllable and change your mindset. Learn to cold-approach firstly to increase your success and secondly work on ur self from top to bottom.

Thanks.

 

[Kotaix]

How will Buddhism help me? Probably you mean that I don't have to be a Buddhist but only take what'll be good for me. But that doesn't really make that much sense. So is Buddhism true or not? If it's true then I have to be a Buddhist. If it's not true, then I can take what's good for me but does that also mean something can include something true and still not be true?

You CAN take what is good for you. Buddhism has no problems with its adherents practicing other religions, because it's not a religion. It's just a different perspective on reality. You're encouraged to see reality as it is instead of allowing your thoughts to warp it into something it's not.

As with most things, you will get out of it as much as you put into it.

 

[RazorRambo24]

OCD can be a major issue not just before you land a chick, but after you land one. Its just characterized by obsessing over things and having obsessive thought patterns that constantly repeat themselves.

I would say learn to combat all that with better self talk. I think in psychology its called Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Dialectic behavior Therapy. Look it up.

 

[in_need_of_help]

OCD can be a major issue not just before you land a chick, but after you land one. Its just characterized by obsessing over things and having obsessive thought patterns that constantly repeat themselves.

I would say learn to combat all that with better self talk. I think in psychology its called Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Dialectic behavior Therapy. Look it up.

I had success with CA before. What I'm really scaring of is the possibility of me not coming across with a woman who's gonna accept my approach and not reject me. I mean, what if I never meet with that kind of woman for a very very long time?

 

[in_need_of_help]

OP you have the key to unlock your own prison cell.
Its true. When I was your age I was ALL thoughts. You cant stop thoughts.
The turning point was when someone told me you are not your thoughts.
Its part of the human condition.

Your mind will turn on itself. Only you. Not the chatter can realize you are the king.

I understand but what I'm really scaring of is the possibility of me not coming across with a woman who's gonna accept my approach and not reject me. I mean, what if I never meet with that kind of woman for a very very long time?

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Try to go for girls that are introverted and forgiving. I told my ex about my ADHD/OCD and she would work with me on that. Don't go for girls that will challenge you too much and be annoying about it. Nerdier, quieter girls are the best in my experience but i dont know ur exact situation so...

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Hello all. Since English isn’t my first language, there could be some mistakes so sorry for that in advance.

I’m 23 years old and have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is a mental disorder. I’ll come to this in a minute. I’m getting treatment for it but the treatment isn’t that effective and I don’t know why. I’m going to a psychiatrist and a therapist.

When I was 20, I learned about cold approach and at the age of 21, I met with a woman through it and she was 10 years older than me. After being together with her for 1.5 years, we broke up – due to a mistake that I made. After that, I kept cold approaching and got on a few dates, kissed 2 girls but nothing more.

What I wanted to ask you is this: Lately, since almost like a year, I’m not having any success on cold approach (even though I didn’t approach too often) and my OCD makes me think like, “What if you’ll be unlucky for the rest of your life? What if there’s some sort of a unluckiness/spell on you that’ll make you always get rejected and stay single for the rest of your life? Or what if you’re gonna find somebody at the age of 30 or 35 and stay single until that time?” My mind doesn’t work like a normal person’s mind therefore these are the questions and worries that I’m dealing with. I know that life and future is full of uncertainties but I’ve an intolerance towards it and it’s making me very anxious and obsessed with these thougts.

I’m talking to my doctor and therapist about all this but they’re doing their best and as you know they aren’t gonna find me a girl. I have to do it myself but at this point, my mind is full of all these worries, uncertainties, anxieties, obsessive thoughts, etc…

Could you please give me some advice? Am I going to find somebody eventually because it’s a numbers game? But what if I can’t? And if I’m gonna find somebody, how will I wait until that time with all this uncertainty?

Thanks.

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