Solutions for 7 year LTR with 2 kids on the rocks - she doesn't know how she feels about me

[Pierce Manhammer]

@Giraffe123 I'm deeply saddened by this news. I can guarantee you none of us are thrilled. To a man, we are all here having been crushed by women at some point. You are here with brothers; we are here to support you. I know it does not seem this way at the moment, but this too shall pass.

I wish you peace.

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on.

She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling.

On a separate note, guessing you can delete **** from this site? I don't want this as a reminder to go back to

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

Be totally pessimistic about the situation, expect and prepare for the worst outcome possible to manifest. If it doesn't, great, if it does, your ready.

Somebody said you should focus on yourself first, then your kids, I don't have the patience to look through the thread but I think that's accurate, you can't look after your kids if your a mess.

Its been 7 years, hopefully you have some of your support system intact from when you were single, see how much you can lean on that.

Luckily for you, there is no marriage to deal with or you would be getting fuuuuucked. Right now, your liabilities are minimal, try to keep it that way.

I will tell you, if you want her to respect you as a man, you will leave as immediately as you can, but if your searching for respect as a father, understand that comes from being able to provide; don't focus on providing, focus on improving and imprinting your ability to provide onto your children, they are young so you still have plenty of time to prepare. You cannot save your kids, they can only save themselves.

First thing I would do is focus on finding cheap child care, but I'm sure other men here who have been married have better advice than me, just wait for them to post.

 

[BeExcellent]

What are the next steps here?

What can I do for the kids and myself?

Well that’s horrid news. Sorry to hear. Nobody is happy about this. What jurisdiction are you in?

 

[Slowhandluke]

I understand that you're angry, but with a few exceptions, most posters here were likely rooting for you to be able to lead your relationship back to a future together.

Most of us here have been through basically the same situation; the relationship is dead and a lot of posters saw that a mile away. Time to move on. Get a lawyer. Don't fight too hard (the lawyers will want to pit you against your ex-partner for the $$$$$; don't fall for it). Don't antagonize her. Get 50/50 custody. Your ex-partner is not a bad person, she's just the typical emotional female that lives in a society that doesn't respect marriage or loyalty, etc.. etc.. Yes, I know you guys weren't married, but you guys were really close.

Don't be a dicck to her. She is still the mother of your kids. Good news is that you don't have to pay alimony. Child support is child support, so that's something that in theory will help your kids which is a good thing. Another thing is that you will have more free time since you hopefully will have only 50% parenting time. Time to bring back the chad within you - the take no prisoners, extremely competent awesome person that you were before you met her; before this whole thing started to blow up.

Good luck