"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Social distancing - anyone else feeling no desires towards women?

user252009

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What's up guys,

So we've been in this social distancing for a month now, and what I've noticed is because of total absence of female presence in my life (in person), I've lost pretty much all desire for them. Instead, I'm working very hard on my passion and making the most out of this time, and it's going pretty well. Now they're starting to hit me up, just to find me suddenly not as eager to talk to them anymore, which is surprising them.

Anyone else feeling similar these days?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Focal core

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Its normal bro, once youre fulfilled with your passion, enjoyed being with yourself alone, they will notice it.. Your value becomes higher more women will want you/enjoying the company to be with you, why wont they? You have a lot to offer.
 

mrgoodstuff

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No i honestly can't say i have ever felt that. Just from staying in it changes the biology?
Are you jerking off? If you are stop for a few weeks and then reassess.
It's psychology. It gets felt occasionally, when you withdraw and suddenly energy and confidence returns. The "juice isn't worth the squeeze". There is a small minority of women that actually want to "help" you, that needs to be in your view point.
 

logicallefty

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Yes, I am for sure feeling it, specifically, the decrease in sex drive. The other night I hung out with my FWB and we ended up not even doing anything but eat dinner, watch TV, talk and laugh, then I left for the night. We talked about it the next day and she was totally cool with it, said "No big deal there is always next time!" It was me, not her. (She is good with anything I want to do. Which is why I am afraid to escalate her to a GF cuz I like the way she is right now. She's been my main 'between GF' FWB for a long time and treats me perfectly. Why ruin a good thing )
 

wifehunter

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I am an extreme introvert. It's normal for me to be more interested in ideas, rather than people. So, not much has changed for me, except more looks from the lonely ladies. Lol
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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Who wouldn’t want to be around such a person?
I don't think I would be too eager to be around someone that I would not be able to have an effect or impact on. If that person is completely self absorbed and derives all sense of value from within himself, I wonder what's the point of my even being around them? I want to be able to have some sort of effect on the people around me, hopefully a positive one.

That's the flip side of the rock-solid self validating frame. Like most things, if you take it too far, it can backfire. The whole focus on the self is a big thing in the modern world, and this forum, but I'm not convinced it's entirely a good thing. Of course, I am a male, so maybe a female might have a different attitude about it, I don't know.

I tend to think in terms of respect, rather than self esteem. This is probably just semantics, a more palatable way for me to process the same message. Instead of self esteem (which tends to strike me as sitting around thinking "Wow, I'm so great"), I think about self respect, that you have to be respect your body and your mind and your life, and to treat it with gratitude for the gift that it is.
 

skinnyguy

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I don't see hot chicks out and about anymore. Mostly just middle aged people wearing masks and looking lost.

If a girl reaches out to me, I'm faced with a dilemma. Should I go for it or do the morally right thing? Social distancing and the risk of getting the virus is probably lowering libidos across the board. Now is probably the worst time for game.

Trying nofap for 30 days. But overall this situation is just really fvcked up.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yes, I am for sure feeling it, specifically, the decrease in sex drive. The other night I hung out with my FWB and we ended up not even doing anything but eat dinner, watch TV, talk and laugh, then I left for the night.
When a b1tch "stalls" you, says "no", puts hurdles up for sex, changes dates, "maybe" and "probably" on sex to move it to the next day it can stall your sex drive and desire. When you have a huge bunch of sex drive and desire, you might not notice it. But when you get weakened or low as you get older, you WILL notice it stalling and slowing your drive and desire.

But trust me, these micro accumulations are taking place and giving her small chunks of "power" and control. It's healthiest to have a babe who likes you so much that she's always ready to fvck!

I have a feeling when they play around and control sex in this manner, it gives her a "control" position with you little by little.

We talked about it the next day and she was totally cool with it, said "No big deal there is always next time!" It was me, not her. (She is good with anything I want to do. Which is why I am afraid to escalate her to a GF cuz I like the way she is right now. She's been my main 'between GF' FWB for a long time and treats me perfectly. Why ruin a good thing )
Just make sure it really was you!
 

nicksaiz65

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Low self esteem is an epidemic in this world. People say heart disease is the number 1 killer. Or perhaps poverty. But low self esteem often leads to those two thing.

Now is an opportunity to find your inner sexworthy man. He’s somewhere in there looking for a chance to come out. Give him that opportunity by working out every day and working towards your goals.

Ive found that self esteem is directly tied to self love/self care and achieving your goals.

Nothing else works. Not therapy, female validation, worldly approval, or your friends telling you you’re a great guy. Whatever you are looking for on the outside, you can only find on the inside.

Ive actually been living my life as if there was a pandemic since 2007. 12 hours of continuous improvement every day. For me nothing has changed at all.

There is no meaning derived from the world. Meaning exists solely for those who need to cling on to it for survival. Beyond the edge of meaning lies internal dominance - absent of all need for meaning or reason.

When you become a singularity - a singular being with no need, not even worldly peace, you just are. You become a self sufficient ecosystem where the universe exists inside you.

Who wouldn’t want to be around such a person? These people are often cults leaders, transformational executives of companies, political leaders, Don Juan’s, etc.
Yeah man... the Self Improvement is the only thing that works for getting confidence like you said. I 100% agree with you.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yeah man... the Self Improvement is the only thing that works for getting confidence like you said. I 100% agree with you.
Another thing that helps is socializing with groups or people who see you in a strong positive light. They "VALUE" you, or add to your worth.

It's great to have huge INTERNAL worth, but appreciate any outside support you can get. It helps!
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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Politics abound here.
The problem is that everything is political in nature to some extent or other. Any time you have two differing ideas of how to solve a problem, it becomes political. Even the anti-feminism theme that drives this site is extremely political.

That said, I absolutely hate the political divide in the US these days. Take the virus situation, each side is taking every opportunity to skewer the other side over their handling or suggestions of handling the crisis. The major networks are little more than shills for the two major parties. Whatever happened to even trying to pretend to maintain some sort of objectivity and lack of bias? All I'm seeing on both sides is hate, hate, and more hate. It's ridiculous.

As for the site changing since the early days, some of the early philosophies have been pretty much debunked IMO. For instance, the idea that Looks Don't Matter, or the idea that if you're not out there banging everything that moves you're a beta chump.
 

Georgepithyou

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Use this time to learn a skill,workout at home, catch up on some reading and spemd valuable time with family.

Game and women can wait for now
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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I go to the store and I see average women looking fine as hell when actually I wouldn't have looked at them before stay at home started. Every decent girl is looking damn good. Not trying to get corona though so just chilling with my #1 in the rotation
 

corrector

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That happened since 2017 when I bought a Tablet and 58 inch HD TV. Too many setbacks.
 

Who Dares Win

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OP you are in your mid 30s, Im there too.

In that moment you think about women when they are in front of you and flirty while they are out of your mind once you do more productive things...the random hard on and thinking about sex nonstop happens during your teens and early 20s.

You are not thinking about women simply cause you have none around you, if you were attending a naked female volley match you would be.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Glassguy

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What's up guys,

So we've been in this social distancing for a month now, and what I've noticed is because of total absence of female presence in my life (in person), I've lost pretty much all desire for them. Instead, I'm working very hard on my passion and making the most out of this time, and it's going pretty well. Now they're starting to hit me up, just to find me suddenly not as eager to talk to them anymore, which is surprising them.

Anyone else feeling similar these days?
No. I am getting laid just as much as pre Covid19. I simply have them come over to hang out for a drink. Skip the dates.
 
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