Social Circle: The right size

[jhonny9546]

When it comes to choosing a social circle, there are important considerations to make. The type of social circle you have can significantly impact your relationships and personal growth.

Closed, Stable Social Circle

A small, closed social circle made up of familiar, "bluepilled" people can be ideal for those seeking LTR and wanting to keep their partner. This allows for a stable, traditional lifestyle, similar to retiring to a farm or small village. The benefits include:

- Feeling supported and content
- Maintaining familiar traditions and routines
- Relationship stability and timing aligned with the group (You can see this when people marry and have kids at the same time as their friends)

However, this comes at the cost of personal growth and sacrificing your own development as an individual. You may feel limited by the narrow perspectives of the group. ("You'll see the same faces at the bar")

Open, Expanding Social Circle

A larger, more open social circle that includes both old and new friends provides more opportunities for personal growth. The drawbacks are:

- Higher risk of relationship instability due to increased options and temptations your GF will have.
- Potential for your partner to use social events to gain status or meet higher value mates.

Most men avoid this lifestyle to maintain relationship security. However, it allows for:

- Meeting new people and being part of diverse social circles
- Learning new things and avoiding boredom
- Pushing your personal boundaries and taking risks

The tradeoff is potentially sacrificing the possibility of a true lifelong LTR.


Most people in stable LTRs tend to have a more closed, traditional social circle from their youth, the same job for their lifetime, college friends and they will live in their small hometown. This is what my grandfather did back in the times, and this helped him to have a stable LTR and build the family.

Or, do you guys found out new ways for social circles?
Which is better depends on your person, or it's one just better for important reasons?

 

[Manure Spherian]

However, this comes at the cost of personal growth and sacrificing your own development as an individual.

I have seen the exact opposite in my life. Pretty much the most connected people I’ve met flourished as individuals.

 

[ludovic991]

When it comes to choosing a social circle, there are important considerations to make. The type of social circle you have can significantly impact your relationships and personal growth.

Closed, Stable Social Circle

A small, closed social circle made up of familiar, "bluepilled" people can be ideal for those seeking LTR and wanting to keep their partner. This allows for a stable, traditional lifestyle, similar to retiring to a farm or small village. The benefits include:

- Feeling supported and content
- Maintaining familiar traditions and routines
- Relationship stability and timing aligned with the group (You can see this when people marry and have kids at the same time as their friends)

However, this comes at the cost of personal growth and sacrificing your own development as an individual. You may feel limited by the narrow perspectives of the group. ("You'll see the same faces at the bar")

Open, Expanding Social Circle

A larger, more open social circle that includes both old and new friends provides more opportunities for personal growth. The drawbacks are:

- Higher risk of relationship instability due to increased options and temptations your GF will have.
- Potential for your partner to use social events to gain status or meet higher value mates.

Most men avoid this lifestyle to maintain relationship security. However, it allows for:

- Meeting new people and being part of diverse social circles
- Learning new things and avoiding boredom
- Pushing your personal boundaries and taking risks

The tradeoff is potentially sacrificing the possibility of a true lifelong LTR.


Most people in stable LTRs tend to have a more closed, traditional social circle from their youth, the same job for their lifetime, college friends and they will live in their small hometown. This is what my grandfather did back in the times, and this helped him to have a stable LTR and build the family.

Or, do you guys found out new ways for social circles?
Which is better depends on your person, or it's one just better for important reasons?

Yeah, it's all about what you prioritize. A closed circle gives you stability, but limits your growth. An open circle is stimulating, but risks relationship instability. I think a balanced approach is key.

 

[jhonny9546]

I have seen the exact opposite in my life. Pretty much the most connected people I’ve met flourished as individuals.

Yes! A pattern I've recognized is this:

I see the "big circle" as representing connections and networking. The small circle, on the other hand, symbolizes the true people who stay in our lives, build genuine memories together, and grow alongside us.

However, it’s important to surround yourself with the right people. A small circle can have many faces, and by that, I don’t mean just being with your school friends who have stable jobs at Walmart—there's nothing wrong with that.

But don’t forget that you need to grow. Opening yourself up to people with ambition and life goals is beneficial! I might want to enter that social circle. It’s often said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, right?

 

[BaronOfHair]

When it comes to choosing a social circle, there are important considerations to make. The type of social circle you have can significantly impact your relationships and personal growth.

Closed, Stable Social Circle

A small, closed social circle made up of familiar, "bluepilled" people can be ideal for those seeking LTR and wanting to keep their partner. This allows for a stable, traditional lifestyle, similar to retiring to a farm or small village. The benefits include:

- Feeling supported and content
- Maintaining familiar traditions and routines
- Relationship stability and timing aligned with the group (You can see this when people marry and have kids at the same time as their friends)

However, this comes at the cost of personal growth and sacrificing your own development as an individual. You may feel limited by the narrow perspectives of the group. ("You'll see the same faces at the bar")

Open, Expanding Social Circle

A larger, more open social circle that includes both old and new friends provides more opportunities for personal growth. The drawbacks are:

- Higher risk of relationship instability due to increased options and temptations your GF will have.
- Potential for your partner to use social events to gain status or meet higher value mates.

Most men avoid this lifestyle to maintain relationship security. However, it allows for:

- Meeting new people and being part of diverse social circles
- Learning new things and avoiding boredom
- Pushing your personal boundaries and taking risks

The tradeoff is potentially sacrificing the possibility of a true lifelong LTR.


Most people in stable LTRs tend to have a more closed, traditional social circle from their youth, the same job for their lifetime, college friends and they will live in their small hometown. This is what my grandfather did back in the times, and this helped him to have a stable LTR and build the family.

Or, do you guys found out new ways for social circles?
Which is better depends on your person, or it's one just better for important reasons?

Surround yourself with people who are committed to intellectual, psychological, and perhaps even spiritual growth, rather than folks who's idea of fun = Binge watching The Acolyte or groaning over how awful "The System" is

You'll have a much richer existence

 

[jhonny9546]

Surround yourself with people who are committed to intellectual, psychological, and perhaps even spiritual growth, rather than folks who's idea of fun = Binge watching The Acolyte or groaning over how awful "The System" is

You'll have a much richer existence

This!
and https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/self-improvement-is-masturbation.243060/

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Surround yourself with people who are committed to intellectual, psychological, and perhaps even spiritual growth, rather than folks who's idea of fun = Binge watching The Acolyte or groaning over how awful "The System" is

You'll have a much richer existence

The saying "Show me your 5 closest friends and I'll tell you who you are" is pretty much true...

 

[Vanderdonck]

I keep mine big and ever changing. Mostly acquaintances and professional contacts. I slip in and out and keep it light. I don't really have the bandwidth for super involved activities with close friends if that makes any sense. Some guys go on golf or ski trips together but that ain't for me.

 

[jhonny9546]

Women seek men who have or show "social validation." When they see that a man has other men and women hanging out and having fun with him, his value increases. It doesn't matter what he does; it could be fishing or running a business. Women are drawn to this quality.

This also brings us to the point that the group of women who search for men with this specific attribute are often "insecure" or have "low self-esteem," and they seek to validate their own feelings of "emptiness" through these men. Such women can be easier to manipulate.

And this kinda of "pokemon" it's really popular in those "big" circles, and less common in the "small" circles.