Chimera
Don Juan
Exactly what is it and how does one overcome it? Discuss
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
The problem may be deeper and it's not as easy as just going out there and meeting people. You have to ask yourself if you like yourself. I'm not talking about are you your ideal self, because nobody is and you obviously have one flaw that is bothering you. But do you like who you are unconditionally.Chimera said:Here's the situation: I've always had friends and socialize all the time, yet consistently get called "socially awkward" or "weird" by all different sorts of people. Recently, a female friend of mine said that it's my social awkwardness that seems to get in the way of me having sex or any sort of relationship.
this.Max Power said:The problem may be deeper and it's not as easy as just going out there and meeting people. You have to ask yourself if you like yourself. I'm not talking about are you your ideal self, because nobody is and you obviously have one flaw that is bothering you. But do you like who you are unconditionally.
Disagree. Awkwardness comes from being too much in your head. A person with little social skills can still be confident as long as they are ok with who they are. If your insecure, you'll be in your head and self-conscious. This is what causes awkwardness.ajax11 said:Social akwardness=not having social skills. It means saying the wrong things, interpreting relationships and friendships the wrong way, basically meaning someon who doesn't have any experience in this area. You overcoming this by socializing and making friends.