So when and how can you be vulernable with a woman?

[Shootin4Dreams]

I am reading art of seduction it tells you that you should be vulnerable or show feelings at times or she will not want to be with you because of it. What is considered okay to be vulnerable and show her feelings?

 

[fastlife]

Think of it like a scripted romance movie. And you're playing the part of the brooding, misunderstood man she's trying to figure out but that she's somehow convinced actually has a good heart. You might open up to her by confiding something that seems really personal, maybe something from your childhood, as a reward for chasing after you and investing in you. Or, if you tend to be inexpressive, making some sweet gesture or even just cuddling your dog.

Basically, look at your vulnerability as her reward, something she must earn and that's given sparingly, instead of her burden (most guys get it backwards and rely on their girls as a comfort blanket).

 

[El Payaso]

Never. Unless you want to end up like Samson.

 

[Tictac]

Mark Manson's "Models of Attraction" has a brilliant take on what 'vulnerability' for men is. And it's not what you think it is.

So unless you've read that and get it, showing any vulnerability to women is a very bad idea.

 

[NSX-R]

Some times being too much alpha is too much for some women and in some situations you need to act like an afc but not too much. You can do it if you have a lot of experience with women .

 

[logicallefty]

Some times being too much alpha is too much for some women and in some situations you need to act like an afc but not too much. You can do it if you have a lot of experience with women .

Agreed. +1

 

[stevo]

You are being vulnerable when you listen to her talk on and on.

You are being vulnerable when you remember things that are important to her.

You are being vulnerable when you do things that benefit her.

Stop looking at vulnerability like an intensive, specified self sacrifice you have to make for a woman.

Vulnerability simply means, you having some skin in the game and a lot of what we already do for them, is us being vulnerable.


Learn to differentiate the appropriate feeling for your bros and blood family members from the appropriate emotions to show your girl. She should not know every side of you.

Some reflection/adoration/emotion is only for your daughter not your woman.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Vulnerable to me is letting her have a bite of my food.

 

[El Payaso]

Vulnerable to me is letting her have a bite of my food.

Lol. Why?

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Some times being too much alpha is too much for some women and in some situations you need to act like an afc but not too much. You can do it if you have a lot of experience with women .

Exactly. Tend to the audience. Those who are most gifted with women, artfully study their subjects and tailor the "pitch" best suited.

Beliefs can be liberating as well as disenfranchising. Better to be fluid, harmonizing to the surroundings. Dangerous is the man who is fluid with no "face."

 

[Poon King]

You will NOT benefit from being vulnerable with a woman.

However, you can fake vulnerability for the purpose of lowering her defenses. But internally you must be aloof.

Once you care more about the relationship than the woman, you lose the game.

 

[RangerMIke]

When you are trying to build a connection with a woman you have to communicate emotionally with SOMETHING she talking about. You do have to be a bit vulnerable when you do this. You do this by owning your story. You talk about yourself in the 1st person. If this makes you vulnerable, then yes you do have to be vulnerable at times otherwise women will think you are a robot.

 

[Poon King]

When you are trying to build a connection with a woman you have to communicate emotionally with SOMETHING she talking about. You do have to be a bit vulnerable when you do this. You do this by owning your story. You talk about yourself in the 1st person. If this makes you vulnerable, then yes you do have to be vulnerable at times otherwise women will think you are a robot.

Wrong.

Also.. what women "think" doesn't matter. You never have to be vulnerable. All you have to do is have something she wants.

Women DO NOT CARE about anything outside of your ability to meet her needs.

 

[Shootin4Dreams]

^exactly. basically last girl that dumped me, IF she cared about me she wouldnt make excuse how I couldnt take care of her down the road etc..

 

[Shootin4Dreams]

Everytime I have been vulernable it has hurt me so I AM NOT going to be vulernable honestly unless she is deciding to not see me anymore probably because im cold then I would open a little. But what would you open with then?

 

[Reykhel]

You will NOT benefit from being vulnerable with a woman.

However, you can fake vulnerability for the purpose of lowering her defenses. But internally you must be aloof.

Once you care more about the relationship than the woman, you lose the game.

The Poon King lad is spot on here. If you were to write that down and follow it, you wouldn't do so bad at
all. What you have to remember is that this is a game (or a war). The problem here is that if you were to be
genuinely "vulnerable" what you're doing is giving her amunition to use against you in the futuree.

....and believe me she will use it against you in the future. yes that girl that you "trust so much". yes that girl
that you have a "connection" with. she will fvck you hard in the ass with a strapon. and that strapon that will
be banging your ass will be the "vulnerable" secret you gave to her in the sanctuary of your bed..

Like PK says, use this to your advantage, throw her a red herring.....throw her a vulnerability that's not true (or at least that's true but she cannot use it against you in the future.....eg I fear my parents dying (so does she) or I fear speaking in public (so does she)

by the way, I applaud you on reading Robert Greene and trying to better yourself.

 

[Reykhel]

Everytime I have been vulernable it has hurt me so I AM NOT going to be vulernable honestly unless she is deciding to not see me anymore probably because im cold then I would open a little. But what would you open with then?

Kid, follow this formula: "create a situation for sex to take place, bring fun and value" nothing more. In the meantime, focus
like a motherfvcker on your passions, on your goals on your life.

women are going to come and go always, you are here always...at least with YOU

 

[YawataNoKami]

Never. Don't believe me? Do this , take a trip to your local mall, sit down and just watch the couples. If you are a good observer , you will see something. The defeat in all those men's eyes. Do you know what all of them have in common(specially the 40s and above guys)? They all open their hearts , they all bended their knees. All of them.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Seasoned DJS know when to bring the GUISE of vulnerability, but are never vulnerable. Give her what she needs, ostensibly. Artfully craft your "pitch," but DO NOT surrender or expose your stratagem OR yourself. This is how you WIN.

 

[macallik]

@Shootin4Dreams check out the AoS thread in the archives of SS. With that said, vulnerability is important in terms of rapport in my experience. A lot of people state otherwise in this thread, but a lot of other people seem pretty bitter as well so....