"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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So tired of the goddamn flakes

Kaim Argonar

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Be it online or offline, it seems to be all I garner. Not even a single date yet after seven months of attempts. Yes it's all part of the learning process, but it's making me so incredibly agressive, even more so than how my naturally brazen temperament makes me feel.

Online, I'll mostly talk a bit with her, and then out of the blue never hear from her again.

I just don't see any girl showing me special signs of interest offline, but then again, I guess that the college environment and college clubs in which I am have a pretty asexual atmosphere and suck ass for getting something out of women that goes beyond these casual encounters. If we do get to talk a bit more personally, then there'll be no pursuing for a myriad of different reasons that all come from her end.

I'm sure I'm at least reasonably good-looking, if only I had a proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people...

And unfortunately, there aren't a lot of online outlets, since I am not part of an english-language region, here the pool of women is pretty limited, unlike at match.com and others.

What options remain now, hitting live girls via cold approach and going into bars? That just isn't my style, I can't see myself acting like this.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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splinterkb

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Kaim Argonar said:
Be it online or offline, it seems to be all I garner. Not even a single date yet after seven months of attempts. Yes it's all part of the learning process, but it's making me so incredibly agressive, even more so than how my naturally brazen temperament makes me feel.

Online, I'll mostly talk a bit with her, and then out of the blue never hear from her again.

I just don't see any girl showing me special signs of interest offline, but then again, I guess that the college environment and college clubs in which I am have a pretty asexual atmosphere and suck ass for getting something out of women that goes beyond these casual encounters. If we do get to talk a bit more personally, then there'll be no pursuing for a myriad of different reasons that all come from her end.

I'm sure I'm at least reasonably good-looking, if only I had a proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people...

And unfortunately, there aren't a lot of online outlets, since I am not part of an english-language region, here the pool of women is pretty limited, unlike at match.com and others.

What options remain now, hitting live girls via cold approach and going into bars? That just isn't my style, I can't see myself acting like this.
A proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people.. are you really that helpless? You know if you want lots of friends, then you're gonna have to be a big boy and introduce yourself like everyone else does.

This thread sounds like you are trying to make excuses of why the atmosphere you're in makes it impossible to meet women.. You know you can meet women everywhere.. classes.. library.. eating out..


It sounds like your main problem is you can't keep a girl interested in you. For starters, quit trying to get somewhere and meet women online.. you live on a college campus for christs sake.. thats probably the best place to meet them. If you need a jumpstart.. try taking up a extracurricular activity that interests you.. if you meet a girl in there, then you'll already have a common interest.
 

Kaim Argonar

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splinterkb said:
A proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people.. are you really that helpless? You know if you want lots of friends, then you're gonna have to be a big boy and introduce yourself like everyone else does.

This thread sounds like you are trying to make excuses of why the atmosphere you're in makes it impossible to meet women.. You know you can meet women everywhere.. classes.. library.. eating out..


It sounds like your main problem is you can't keep a girl interested in you. For starters, quit trying to get somewhere and meet women online.. you live on a college campus for christs sake.. thats probably the best place to meet them. If you need a jumpstart.. try taking up a extracurricular activity that interests you.. if you meet a girl in there, then you'll already have a common interest.
What's wrong with that, isn't social proof supposed to help? I'm new to this town, so although I made some friends already, it's kinda hard to start over from scratch. Most students seem to come from this town and everyone knows each other from the same highschools.

Sure you can meet girls everywhere, but without a social pretext to interact with them, it kinda sucks hard. You can only converse with small talk and it's fruitless. I want a reason to talk about personal matters with them without coming off as creepy.

Suuuuuuure, there's some trait about me that jinxes any potential encounter. Here comes the typical sosuave condescension again. Rather, I think that it's because I don't get a lot of chances to show how I am.

As mentioned I'm already part of a few extracurricular activities... I'm going to look for more of them, but it doesn't seem like there are many of them left. And I'm fed up of only doing this because of my ulterior motive.
 

L B

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You don't need friends to meet girls. During my college years, I did pretty well without having many friends. Sometimes friends can be counter productive/hold you back/waste your time.

You need to learn to approach on your own. You need to find a style that works for you. Have you been experimenting with different styles these past couple of months or have you been perfecting a method that does not work for you.
 

Kaim Argonar

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L B said:
You don't need friends to meet girls. During my college years, I did pretty well without having many friends. Sometimes friends can be counter productive/hold you back/waste your time.

You need to learn to approach on your own. You need to find a style that works for you. Have you been experimenting with different styles these past couple of months or have you been perfecting a method that does not work for you.
Yeah, I'm not that desiring of friends, it's just you know kinda ****ty to do EVERYTHING on your own. I'm not against doing a whole lot of efforts, but a thing or two to make my life easier and introduce me to new folks amid this huge impersonal community of 40000 youths wouldn't hurt. But admittedly, I usually work well as a lone wolf when I am able to really put my heart into it. If something hurts me it's that I tend to avoid doing anything reckless.

When I did experiment, if I did it with any style, it would be to tell things that the girl would relate to and which would instantly elicit an emotion in her of my choosing, and then grind from there as much as possible.

Of course this lack of result is most surely just par for the course and it's all a game of probabilities, but I would like to meet a girl who'd be more receptive.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Kaim Argonar

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hehe, no thanks, killjoy, I'm too cunning to end up with such a sad fate

I have a good temperament, I really am not fazed by anyone and am extremely hard to impress, not shy about what I want, what I think or who I am, and self-assured when I talk. Now to find ways to show it.

In fact, it doesn't bother me to ask a girl out and hear excuses for a rejection, what nags me a bit more is not being able to then walk away from her in case of a refusal because we're commited to the same group and ****ing up the whole group's dynamic, even if I can take it in stride.
 

Kaim Argonar

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I'm not desperate sexually and have little interest in merely getting laid, honestly. The kinds of people who go to clubs to hook up with complete strangers select their partners solely based on their appearance and I don't like the concept of this.

I like drinking and I've been to a few parties in bars and at other places through the various college fraternities but it kinda sucked: overwhelming ratio of guys vs. girls, lots of cliques, and even though I got along just fine with them, nearly all the females already had boyfriends.
 
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