"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

So tired of the goddamn flakes

Kaim Argonar

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Be it online or offline, it seems to be all I garner. Not even a single date yet after seven months of attempts. Yes it's all part of the learning process, but it's making me so incredibly agressive, even more so than how my naturally brazen temperament makes me feel.

Online, I'll mostly talk a bit with her, and then out of the blue never hear from her again.

I just don't see any girl showing me special signs of interest offline, but then again, I guess that the college environment and college clubs in which I am have a pretty asexual atmosphere and suck ass for getting something out of women that goes beyond these casual encounters. If we do get to talk a bit more personally, then there'll be no pursuing for a myriad of different reasons that all come from her end.

I'm sure I'm at least reasonably good-looking, if only I had a proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people...

And unfortunately, there aren't a lot of online outlets, since I am not part of an english-language region, here the pool of women is pretty limited, unlike at match.com and others.

What options remain now, hitting live girls via cold approach and going into bars? That just isn't my style, I can't see myself acting like this.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

splinterkb

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Kaim Argonar said:
Be it online or offline, it seems to be all I garner. Not even a single date yet after seven months of attempts. Yes it's all part of the learning process, but it's making me so incredibly agressive, even more so than how my naturally brazen temperament makes me feel.

Online, I'll mostly talk a bit with her, and then out of the blue never hear from her again.

I just don't see any girl showing me special signs of interest offline, but then again, I guess that the college environment and college clubs in which I am have a pretty asexual atmosphere and suck ass for getting something out of women that goes beyond these casual encounters. If we do get to talk a bit more personally, then there'll be no pursuing for a myriad of different reasons that all come from her end.

I'm sure I'm at least reasonably good-looking, if only I had a proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people...

And unfortunately, there aren't a lot of online outlets, since I am not part of an english-language region, here the pool of women is pretty limited, unlike at match.com and others.

What options remain now, hitting live girls via cold approach and going into bars? That just isn't my style, I can't see myself acting like this.
A proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people.. are you really that helpless? You know if you want lots of friends, then you're gonna have to be a big boy and introduce yourself like everyone else does.

This thread sounds like you are trying to make excuses of why the atmosphere you're in makes it impossible to meet women.. You know you can meet women everywhere.. classes.. library.. eating out..


It sounds like your main problem is you can't keep a girl interested in you. For starters, quit trying to get somewhere and meet women online.. you live on a college campus for christs sake.. thats probably the best place to meet them. If you need a jumpstart.. try taking up a extracurricular activity that interests you.. if you meet a girl in there, then you'll already have a common interest.
 

Kaim Argonar

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splinterkb said:
A proper social network and lots of friends to introduce me to other people.. are you really that helpless? You know if you want lots of friends, then you're gonna have to be a big boy and introduce yourself like everyone else does.

This thread sounds like you are trying to make excuses of why the atmosphere you're in makes it impossible to meet women.. You know you can meet women everywhere.. classes.. library.. eating out..


It sounds like your main problem is you can't keep a girl interested in you. For starters, quit trying to get somewhere and meet women online.. you live on a college campus for christs sake.. thats probably the best place to meet them. If you need a jumpstart.. try taking up a extracurricular activity that interests you.. if you meet a girl in there, then you'll already have a common interest.
What's wrong with that, isn't social proof supposed to help? I'm new to this town, so although I made some friends already, it's kinda hard to start over from scratch. Most students seem to come from this town and everyone knows each other from the same highschools.

Sure you can meet girls everywhere, but without a social pretext to interact with them, it kinda sucks hard. You can only converse with small talk and it's fruitless. I want a reason to talk about personal matters with them without coming off as creepy.

Suuuuuuure, there's some trait about me that jinxes any potential encounter. Here comes the typical sosuave condescension again. Rather, I think that it's because I don't get a lot of chances to show how I am.

As mentioned I'm already part of a few extracurricular activities... I'm going to look for more of them, but it doesn't seem like there are many of them left. And I'm fed up of only doing this because of my ulterior motive.
 

L B

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You don't need friends to meet girls. During my college years, I did pretty well without having many friends. Sometimes friends can be counter productive/hold you back/waste your time.

You need to learn to approach on your own. You need to find a style that works for you. Have you been experimenting with different styles these past couple of months or have you been perfecting a method that does not work for you.
 

Kaim Argonar

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L B said:
You don't need friends to meet girls. During my college years, I did pretty well without having many friends. Sometimes friends can be counter productive/hold you back/waste your time.

You need to learn to approach on your own. You need to find a style that works for you. Have you been experimenting with different styles these past couple of months or have you been perfecting a method that does not work for you.
Yeah, I'm not that desiring of friends, it's just you know kinda ****ty to do EVERYTHING on your own. I'm not against doing a whole lot of efforts, but a thing or two to make my life easier and introduce me to new folks amid this huge impersonal community of 40000 youths wouldn't hurt. But admittedly, I usually work well as a lone wolf when I am able to really put my heart into it. If something hurts me it's that I tend to avoid doing anything reckless.

When I did experiment, if I did it with any style, it would be to tell things that the girl would relate to and which would instantly elicit an emotion in her of my choosing, and then grind from there as much as possible.

Of course this lack of result is most surely just par for the course and it's all a game of probabilities, but I would like to meet a girl who'd be more receptive.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Kaim Argonar

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hehe, no thanks, killjoy, I'm too cunning to end up with such a sad fate

I have a good temperament, I really am not fazed by anyone and am extremely hard to impress, not shy about what I want, what I think or who I am, and self-assured when I talk. Now to find ways to show it.

In fact, it doesn't bother me to ask a girl out and hear excuses for a rejection, what nags me a bit more is not being able to then walk away from her in case of a refusal because we're commited to the same group and ****ing up the whole group's dynamic, even if I can take it in stride.
 

Kaim Argonar

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I'm not desperate sexually and have little interest in merely getting laid, honestly. The kinds of people who go to clubs to hook up with complete strangers select their partners solely based on their appearance and I don't like the concept of this.

I like drinking and I've been to a few parties in bars and at other places through the various college fraternities but it kinda sucked: overwhelming ratio of guys vs. girls, lots of cliques, and even though I got along just fine with them, nearly all the females already had boyfriends.
 
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