So my GF's not so "innocent" after all, what to do..

[CharmaLeo]

Well, one man's garbage is another man's treasure...

Past actions are a good indication for the future indeed. Don't put so much value into this hoe. Look at you bending backwards to accomodate her horish behavior.

It is up to you if you think you deserve better or not. I would take a step back until I get in her pants. But I would never take her seriously.

 

[ShockDoctor]

NO, I disagree, don't be mislead by TillTheEndOfTime's post, why do u think she's with you? because she LIKES U, she isn't gonna be with someone she doesn't like! if she wants to wait for a bit before having sex what's the problem with that? maybe she wants to get on an 'emotional' level before having sex with you as she wants to be more 'respectful' of YOU!

she treated your FB like a toy! that's what he was a play thing, because she wants to WAIT with YOU she doesn't want U to be a play thing, she has RESPECT for you!

most women nowadays have a past, deal with it! don't be consumed by this simple event!

remember: YOU have a past aswell!!!

 

[DJ Alejandro]

ive got class in a few minutes so i dont have much time to read other replies but..

i just think something's wrong here. maybe she's just "making up" for her stint. maybe trying to play hard to get for a bit.

i understand you, man. ive experienced something similar. i guess i cant say much on what to do but just take it one day at a time and then you'll see. take your relationship one day at a time.

judge from that.

 

[The Rake]

Hmmmm.... She wants to maintain a "friendship" with her fvck buddy, obstentiously so when she craves (and women do get horny) a great fvck from the Big Stud with the Gigantic Tool. You, on the other hand, are the dude whom she would like a relationship because she has developed feelings for. With a relationship comes her need to vent her emotions on you, to shower you with all sorts of female sh*t, to be the lucky guy who gets her mind, soul, spirit and body (the latter is not 100% guaranteed all the time). Meanwhile, her FB gets none of her PMS induced tirades, her game playing, her moodiness, etc. After all, she has no emotional feelings toward him. He's just a boy toy, an object of lust, pure unbridled sex with none of the "do you love me?". I wonder why you can't be the Total Package, the dude whom she not only can't keep her horny hands off of, but she would like an exclusive relationship?

 

[belividere]

I'm kinda shocked that I am the first to reply with this but I have been "Simon". The notion that the new BF owns "Simon" or is better than him isn't always the case. Just let me say that once he finds out it is likely that one of two things are going to happen. He will back off and not care. Or he will up his game. She might have said that she only wanted him for fun but maybe was giving it up because she settled for the type of relationship that he wanted. Not many girls want to be a guys **** buddy, most just become one thinking they can sleep their way into being his girlfriend. Why she would tell you that and then want to be friends with him I dont know? Seems like you already had her on a pedestal to begin with.

 

[DeathDealer]

Dudes... first of all. I know the saying goes "The past is the past" but a girl talking about her past is ALWAYS seen in a bad light and it is.

I mean, it's the same thing what DJ principles teach DJs... to NEVER speak of other women, and if to do so you must mention friend and ONLY friend with no speaking about having sex with other girls UNLESS ASKED UPON.

She can talk about her girlfriends doing this and that, and her guyfriends. But if she is talking to you about what her ex did or what her ex-fbuddy did.. BAD. To the dudes who say past is past and "just be glad she's with you now" NO.

There are few guys out there that don't give a crap what crap comes out of the girl's mouth cause he judges by the actions than words. You're not one of them unfortunately and it is affecting you big time.

Me? I wouldn't take this crap either cause in my eyes her value has dropped incredibly. And let me tell you about these girls, these girls are the types that are rated MOST LIKELY TO CHEAT. Because they're so honest and forthcoming, most likely they are domineering.. and domineering girl CAN CHEAT at any single moment that you are weak.

NEXT DUDE.

 

[DJDamage]

You are looking too much into titles.

What is the differnce between a "fvck buddy" and a "boyfriend"? -Nothing really in the end they are both guys who end up fvcking a girl on exclusive basis.

Her "fvck buddy" was just like a boyfriend only she didn't put him in that catagory because he did not fulfill her emotional needs (or there is more to that story but you don't know about)

You on the other hand is " The Boyfriend" ( That title cannot be truly given to you since you never fvcked her - To be blunt -when a woman spreads her legs to a guy that is when she is truly accepts him both on emotional and physical level. Emotional is not enough)

What I see here is a low interest level in her to you because I would rather be "simon" and fvcking her with no commitment then being you with commitment but without the benefits of sex.

She should have kept quiet about the Fvck buddy thing. Women who tell/brag about things like that, think that they are just like guys and that they can fvck whomever they want and tell everyone about it and not be judged.

You have not yet established a close knit relationship where she can tell you about her skeletons in her closet. Most sensebile women do not disclouse their past sexually to guys they like because they are afraid they will turn you off. I guess this one does not.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by BigWillyStyle
Yeah we met about 4-5 weeks ago and saw each other often, one week ago she asked to go "exclusive" She asked how I'd feel if she continues seeing her fvck buddy as a friend ONLY, as she said she that's ALL SHE wants from him. I stupidly said "yeah that's ok I guess" I have reason to trust her because she has been extremely candid with me so far. I dunno, fvck buddies... nasty.

Jesus. You can bet the BF is the other guy, not you. If you're in a LTR she's supposed to have sex with YOU and have NO FB!

What kind of relationship is that? You're a fool if you keep in this "foolin'ship"!

 

[Wyldfire]

To all you guys who are encouraging Will to react like a woman and be all hysterical and emotional...

You are all forgetting that SHE DID NOT HAVE TO TELL HIM ABOUT "SIMON". IF she wanted to continue to have sex with "Simon" while "stringing Will along" she would NOT have been honest to Will about her past involvement with the guy. That would have left her free to sneak around and continue whatever she had with him.

Think about it for crying out loud. Would any of you guys go confess to a girl you're dating about some girl you have been having sex with if you wanted to keep having sex with her? No way in hell you would.

Stop acting like girls for God's sake...you should be embarassed.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
To all you guys who are encouraging Will to react like a woman and be all hysterical and emotional...

Would any of you guys go confess to a girl you're dating about some girl you have been having sex with if you wanted to keep having sex with her? No way in hell you would.

Stop acting like girls for God's sake...you should be embarassed.

Are you telling him to accept her behavior?

You have a point, but this guy is being used here!

 

[Blue Phoenix]

By the way, maybe she told him about her FB just to alleviate her guilt or to justify her behavior!

 

[DJDamage]

Would any of you guys go confess to a girl you're dating about some girl you have been having sex with if you wanted to keep having sex with her? No way in hell you would.

Its different for men and women. A man primary goal is sex first and therefore he is more likely to "forgive and forget" the concept of a fvck buddy because hey if she admits something like that it means that she is easy = slvt which means = easy lay

However women tend to be more judgmental in that catagory because it is a turn off for a women that a guy brags about his sexual history to her due to the fact the her primary goal is security which means if he is treating sex as a fun activity it means he is a player which = no security.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Are you telling him to accept her behavior?

You have a point, but this guy is being used here!

No, he's not being "used"...jesus you guys don't read or listen sometimes.

She stopped having sex with the other guy when she met Will. She told Will about the involvement with the other guy. She isn't spending time alone with the other guy. Will said she has been very honest and open with him so far and this was the first issue to come up with her at all. She hasn't even DONE anything to warrant him being upset with her, let alone Nexting her.

Now...IF she doesn't respect Will's wishes that she not spend any time alone with this guy, THEN he would have cause to break up with her and be angry...but as for right now...she has NOT done a damn thing wrong. She didn't have to tell him about this past involvement...and it didn't benefit her in any way to do so.

The main reason some of you guys are freaking out is just because she hasn't had sex with Will yet. But what you fail to understand is that a girl who wants to wait a little while before having sex with you actually LIKES YOU MORE and places a HIGHER VALUE in you than if she had sex with you immediately. Why? Because your opinion of her MATTERS to her.

 

[alphawolfx]

dude...

she RISKED looking like a complete slut by telling you about her past...

...i know it hits at your pride a little bit, but she thinks you're so SPCIAL and she thinks your SO GREAT that she wants to tell you her secrets that might make you think worse of her...

the guys who are telling him to next her... this is why girls have ASD - because they are afraid that guys will think they are complete sluts, just because they wanted some sex...

go ahead and tell her "yes it makes me a little jealous, but it's okay. i don't like you any less" and why should you like her any less... it shows you that once she's comfortable enough with you, you two will get VERY kinky in bed.

she just likes you too much to want to screw things up with you, THAT'S why she hasn't rushed into sex with you

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
No, he's not being "used"...jesus you guys don't read or listen sometimes.

She stopped having sex with the other guy when she met Will. She told Will about the involvement with the other guy. She isn't spending time alone with the other guy. Will said she has been very honest and open with him so far and this was the first issue to come up with her at all. She hasn't even DONE anything to warrant him being upset with her, let alone Nexting her.

Now...IF she doesn't respect Will's wishes that she not spend any time alone with this guy, THEN he would have cause to break up with her and be angry...but as for right now...she has NOT done a damn thing wrong. She didn't have to tell him about this past involvement...and it didn't benefit her in any way to do so.

The main reason some of you guys are freaking out is just because she hasn't had sex with Will yet. But what you fail to understand is that a girl who wants to wait a little while before having sex with you actually LIKES YOU MORE and places a HIGHER VALUE in you than if she had sex with you immediately. Why? Because your opinion of her MATTERS to her.

If his situation is like you're describing then that's ok. I understand your last paragraph pretty well.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by DJDamage
Its different for men and women. A man primary goal is sex first and therefore he is more likely to "forgive and forget" the concept of a fvck buddy because hey if she admits something like that it means that she is easy = slvt which means = easy lay

However women tend to be more judgmental in that catagory because it is a turn off for a women that a guy brags about his sexual history to her due to the fact the her primary goal is security which means if he is treating sex as a fun activity it means he is a player which = no security.

You guys are hopeless sometimes. Even the most simple, basic concept it totally lost on you at times.

Women don't brag about having casual sex. Society sends us the message that being "easy" is wrong. For her to admit to Will about this past involvement was a RISK to her. She took a chance of him thinking less of her because she feels it's important to be honest with him. She would NOT do that if her intention was to turn around and screw him over. If that was her intention she would not have told him at all.

Why is that so difficult to understand for some?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
If his situation is like you're describing then that's ok. I understand your last paragraph pretty well.

Yes, the situation is like I described. She told Will that she USED to have the involvement with "Simon" BEFORE getting involved with Will. She ended it to be with Will. She chose Will OVER the other guy. AND she risked him looking down on her to tell him the truth about her past.

 

[belividere]

To all you guys who are encouraging Will to react like a woman and be all hysterical and emotional...

I just went back and re-read every reply on here. I dont really know what you are refering to as telling him to act hysterical or like a woman. Seems like half of the threads are telling him to be skeptical. To which I would definetly agree.

You are all forgetting that SHE DID NOT HAVE TO TELL HIM ABOUT "SIMON".

That is exactly why he should be skeptical. Seems like a half truth. She may have told him about this guy due to more recent activities. Really I couldnt think of any better explanation. Seems like she felt guilty that she was with her fb while she was with the poster and sugar coated the truth to make it seem like it happened but it was history.

From my experience with **** buddies they are usually of two types: bar hors or girls that want a guy but cant have him and settle for fb. Either way bad situation. I have never encountered a situation where it was the opposite and the guy wanted more.

I think the most difficult situation that a younger guy can overcome is getting and maintaining a fb. Unless the girl is a hor and then it is just a matter of convenience. But think about it maintaining a high interest level yet not having to deal with the hassle of being a boyfriend and calling at your will to go and hook up. The girl was under his thumb whether she will admit or not.

 

[DJDamage]

Women don't brag about having casual sex. Society sends us the message that being "easy" is wrong. For her to admit to Will about this past involvement was a RISK to her. She took a chance of him thinking less of her because she feels it's important to be honest with him. She would NOT do that if her intention was to turn around and screw him over. If that was her intention she would not have told him at all.

There is no difference between saying it and bragging about it. She shouldn't even have mentioned it in the first place. Why stop here? why not mention all her sexual partners and give him details about the nasty things they done to her, while he still is getting nothing!!

How do you know what her intention is?! Its an ASSUMATION that you are thinking she is taking a chance?! why take that chance?! Nobody takes a chance like that without knowing fully well that it could backfire and therefore the loss of him will not be that big. If she really cared about him, she would have kept her mouth shut for fear of losing him.

 

[Wyldfire]

Every guy who tells him to "Next" her and are encouraging him "not to put up with her" are acting like hysterical women.

She STOPPED having sex with the other guy when she started seeing Will. It's no different if she started dating Will right after breaking up with a boyfriend for the love of Christ.

Some of the guys on here are acting as if she is still sleeping with this other guy and based on what Will has posted...she has done no such thing.


And as for a "good girl" having a casual sex involvement with a guy and not wanting a relationship...it DOES happen sometimes. I know this because I had such an involvement myself. I was going through a rough time and wanted some stress free companionship without the burden and aggravation of a commitment. I was around 33 years old and had been with a grand total of two men in my life at that point...so I was in no way "easy". We had what I would call an "intimate friendship". We hung out, did fun stuff and had sex. He asked me to move in with him at one point and asked to move in with me at another and I said no. I was the one who walked away. I was the one who objected to anyone referring to me as his "girlfriend"...I did not want that label.

You can't judge a person based on one choice they made in their lifetime. You'll never get a very accurate picture of who they are.

This girl had this involvement BEFORE getting involved with Will...so she had nothing to feel guilty about. She did nothing wrong. If she didn't tell him about it, there is a good chance it would have come out later. This other guy is probably not going to just go silently into the night. He will most likely try to cause problems. But since she told Will about the nature of her involvement with "Simon" then he will not be in the dark, which, in my opinion, is a good thing.