Hello Friend,

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It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

So like... relationships, right...

GrowingPains

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Since mid 2018 when I found the Rational Male and this site... I've adopted the 'date multiple women and let her push for exclusivity' mentality. I'd say things have been working out quite well. I tried to count a little while ago and I've been intimate with ~15, probably kissed two handfuls more, and went on however many dates. No relationship. None of those have pushed for a relationship, and there are only a few that I've even considered viable candidates.

The few that I did were decent girls. I enjoyed their company but now that I'm looking back on it... it's just that I liked them. I think that's the only distinguishing factor. The other girls were just for fun and I didn't have any feelings for them. So when these few girls that I did have feelings for came across... like right now... I find myself feeling like I'm betraying my initial Red Pill attitude. I feel so confused that my emotions have caused me to question something I once thought so logical. It bothers me that I can't resolve whether I want a relationship or multiple.

Some things that keep me from fully committing:
1. I find myself looking for unicorns. I want a certain body type. A certain drive. A certain sense of humor. I know that I am looking for perfection. And I acknowledge that that's probably futile ... there is something wrong with every person - even myself. But that's the truth... I feel like I can do better. Whether or not it's true, I don't know yet. But it feels unfair to the people who I am dating.

2. I like options. I like the attention. I like feeling like all these girls want me and the validation that comes with it. Everyone needs validation.. no matter how Red Pilled you are.

3. Maybe I'm afraid of the pain that comes from the end of a relationship. Afraid that someone who is going to play such a large part in my life will (likely) no longer be part of it at all at some point.

4. I'm afraid of being wrong. I'm not sure my ego can handle it. I've made such strong statements over the years in conversations among friends.. and even with some of the women I'm dating... Here I am subscribing to 'relationships are pointless', 'there is no benefit of being in a relationship', etc... But one thing I've learned in multiple aspects of life over the past couple of years is that life is nuanced. Things are not so black and white. Extremes are easy, navigating the gray area/moderation is difficult but more sustainable.

Some benefits of being in a relationship:
1. Editing this one to be summarized as 'security'. Obviously it's not 100% because people cheat... but some security in knowing you have a decreased chance in obtaining an STD. Someone you can talk to without boundaries at the end of the day. The world is a lonely place. And no matter how much you enjoy your own company... I feel like we need someone(s) to connect with. People are social creatures.

2. Less energy to try and maintain boundaries with someone who you truly like. By this I mean that I find myself wanting to do boyfriend things with girls that aren't my girlfriend if I have feelings for them. And wanting to do more with someone but holding back because you want to keep it casual... exhausting.

3. Elevating each other. Supporting a person simply because you want to see them succeed and glow and they'd do the same for you. Kinda special.

4. Experiencing life together on a deep level. Vague... but I just figure you can't really get close with someone and then do extraordinary things all over the world together if you're dating 2-3 other people. At some point all of those relationships will get to that deep point and unless you're the Tiger King you can't maintain that level of emotional investment for long.

I suppose you could do some of these things outside of an exclusive relationship... For some reason (trying to figure out if I'm conditioned/Blue Pilled - open to analyses that aren't attacks) it feels like those things are supposed to be relationship things.

Recently I found myself considering a relationship out of fear. I told a girl I've been dating for a while that I still wanted to see other people so that I could clear the air of any assumptions that may have come from recent things I did. There was conversation afterwards about her past and our concerns about being in a relationship. She said she needed some space to just think. The last time a girl told me she needed space was when I broke up with my ex and wanted to get back together. So I think I panicked and started to consider a relationship out of fear of losing her. I enjoy her company. We're very similar and we have a good time, ya dig? But it's not healthy that I considered the relationship out of fear. I'd like to change that. In Rich Dad Poor Dad he talks about people making financial decisions based on fear and not logic and that's part of the reason they remain poor... it made me think of this.

A lot to unpack there. Latch on to whatever you want.

The End.
 
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Lynx nkaf

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Since mid 2018 when I found the Rational Male and this site... I've adopted the 'date multiple women and let her push for exclusivity' mentality. I'd say things have been working out quite well. I tried to count a little while ago and I've been intimate with ~15, probably kissed two handfuls more, and went on however many dates. No relationship. None of those have pushed for a relationship, and there are only a few that I've even considered viable candidates.

The few that I did were decent girls. I enjoyed their company but now that I'm looking back on it... it's just that I liked them. I think that's the only distinguishing factor. The other girls were just for fun and I didn't have any feelings for them. So when these few girls that I did have feelings for came across... like right now... I find myself feeling like I'm betraying my initial Red Pill attitude. I feel so confused that my emotions have caused me to question something I once thought so logical. It bothers me that I can't resolve whether I want a relationship or multiple.

Some things that keep me from fully committing:
1. I find myself looking for unicorns. I want a certain body type. A certain drive. A certain sense of humor. I know that I am looking for perfection. And I acknowledge that that's probably futile ... there is something wrong with every person - even myself. But that's the truth... I feel like I can do better. Whether or not it's true, I don't know yet. But it feels unfair to the people who I am dating.

2. I like options. I like the attention. I like feeling like all these girls want me and the validation that comes with it. Everyone needs validation.. no matter how Red Pilled you are.

3. Maybe I'm afraid of the pain that comes from the end of a relationship. Afraid that someone who is going to play such a large part in my life will (likely) no longer be part of it at all at some point.

4. I'm afraid of being wrong. I'm not sure my ego can handle it. I've made such strong statements over the years in conversations among friends.. and even with some of the women I'm dating... Here I am subscribing to 'relationships are pointless', 'there is no benefit of being in a relationship', etc... But one thing I've learned in multiple aspects of life over the past couple of years is that life is nuanced. Things are not so black and white. Extremes are easy, navigating the gray area/moderation is difficult but more sustainable.

Some benefits of being in a relationship:
1. Editing this one to be summarized as 'security'. Obviously it's not 100% because people cheat... but some security in knowing you have a decreased chance in obtaining an STD. Someone you can talk to without boundaries at the end of the day. The world is a lonely place. And no matter how much you enjoy your own company... I feel like we need someone(s) to connect with. People are social creatures.

2. Less energy to try and maintain boundaries with someone who you truly like. By this I mean that I find myself wanting to do boyfriend things with girls that aren't my girlfriend if I have feelings for them. And wanting to do more with someone but holding back because you want to keep it casual... exhausting.

3. Elevating each other. Supporting a person simply because you want to see them succeed and glow and they'd do the same for you. Kinda special.

4. Experiencing life together on a deep level. Vague... but I just figure you can't really get close with someone and then do extraordinary things all over the world together if you're dating 2-3 other people. At some point all of those relationships will get to that deep point and unless you're the Tiger King you can't maintain that level of emotional investment for long.

I suppose you could do some of these things outside of an exclusive relationship... For some reason (trying to figure out if I'm conditioned/Blue Pilled - open to analyses that aren't attacks) it feels like those things are supposed to be relationship things.

Recently I found myself considering a relationship out of fear. I told a girl I've been dating for a while that I still wanted to see other people so that I could clear the air of any assumptions that may have come from recent things I did. There was conversation afterwards about her past and our concerns about being in a relationship. She said she needed some space to just think. The last time a girl told me she needed space was when I broke up with my ex and wanted to get back together. So I think I panicked and started to consider a relationship out of fear of losing her. I enjoy her company. We're very similar and we have a good time, ya dig? But it's not healthy that I considered the relationship out of fear. I'd like to change that. In Rich Dad Poor Dad he talks about people making financial decisions based on fear and not logic and that's part of the reason they remain poor... it made me think of this.

A lot to unpack there. Latch on to whatever you want.

The End.
there was a meme with all writing...I'll see if I can find it....Its what I thought of reading your post and it encourages risktaking (for relationships) I don't know if it will helpScreenshot_2020-05-14-20-07-37.png
 

MrWood

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1. I find myself looking for unicorns. I want a certain body type. A certain drive. A certain sense of humor. I know that I am looking for perfection. And I acknowledge that that's probably futile ... there is something wrong with every person - even myself. But that's the truth... I feel like I can do better. Whether or not it's true, I don't know yet. But it feels unfair to the people who I am dating.
Gents, dont find yourself in this position 30yr later like myself.

The available pool of (unicorn) candidates shrinks exponentially and one may find himself alone or only able to get a HB6- and hope shes a good catch.
 

metalwater

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I get your point I think. I am/was/have been a very very blue pill dude. at some point I was forced to learn and accept red pill as the truth, and at a very old age... I would like to have every one of the things you have described. we are men... after cutting through frame and image it can be very common to want those things. the problem is how to get that. It might be possible to do with a deep and persistent self reminder of how things really work. for example the reasons that the girl might go along with giving you the behaviorism that you want is very different than the reasons that you want her to do it. I think it can be possible.. but she will glow for different reasons than the reason men will glow. I am a logical sort of guy... the very best advice I have seen in the last years comes from one of the posters on this board. the theme is usually keep the sex going well and be fair and don't accept any compromise on those things. something about ying and yang. the girl is never going to give you what you want for the reasons that you want. she might do it for other reasons, that you have to figure out those reasons and apply unless your one of the 1% of guys that women will just do anything for because of genetics...

If you can create an existence that she(whoever that would be) that is relativly in solitude and she is ok with that can have a better chance. If you and or her need to be with ppl, then you MUST either have or create high status for yourself within the place you and her will spend time, otherwise, her glow will go out in one way or another, yours might not until hers does. I am aware of a couple that lives off grid and away. they like each other very much and do well together.

HTH
 

Atom Smasher

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OP, what’s happening to you is called “growing up”. I don’t know how old you are (if it’s in your profile, it doesn’t show on my phone), but eventually most men find that sleeping with multiple women is an exercise in dissipation, and that there is something more to life. It is natural to start to want an exclusive relationship with a decent woman. Of course as we all know, the number of decent women is staggeringly low. In addition, the good ones with low mileage get scooped up into marriage early, so they’re completely out of the game by their early 20s. That leaves the 98% of mental cases to sift through.

In my own case, I found a 9 with the sweetest personality one can imagine, and she’s a widow. I’ve spent my entire life searching for a decent woman, and pretty much gave up about 15 years ago.

I don’t know what the answer is for men today. We’re in such a completely unique period in a historical sense. Never before have women been so destroyed and disintegrated. I say that if a good candidate comes around, she should be considered for an exclusive relationship. I can tell by the way you write that you’re headed for that direction anyway.

How does one know he has found a good one? Easy... she brings peace and support into your life, and not strife. When a man finds such a woman, he knows it, and he understands her value. That’s why I always admonish men to immediately indicate to women that he is evaluating them (I use the word “judging” in order to make my point). Any good woman would kill for a man who she can look up to and whom she does not feel like she’s above.

I’m rambling a bit here as I am prone to do, but I say leave all options on the table. If you find a woman who looks up to you, is submissive in nature, and brings peace into your life, that’s someone who is worth taking a risk with in a LTR. Nothing less is acceptable. It took me 58 years to find the right girl, although from ages 0 through 8, I only dated very lightly. ; )

There are a few unicorns floating around out there, but you must be a man who is worthy of this upper echelon. That simply means being a leader who shows some backbone. And it means having standards, including standards that she must live up to.
 

zekko

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It is natural to start to want an exclusive relationship with a decent woman.
I'm always saying that pair bonding is natural. But the party line here is no, LTRs are "Disney conditioning" - it is only natural to swing from trees and spread your seed to multiple women. Whatever "natural" means - obviously it is natural for humans to build societies. Nature's gift to us is our brains. Which means we are not locked into a narrow pattern of behaviors.
 

Who Dares Win

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Whoever plans to start a family should do it before his 30 with a girl in her early 20s.

After that women get used and abused too much and become unable to bond with her man while men see a decrease in libido and patience therefore it gets hard to endure the presence of a woman for too long.

The only way to make it work is to pair bond while still able to and make as many experience together as possible to make that bond stronger.

Anything different than that and its two fvck buddies that share bills.
 

AttackFormation

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I'm always saying that pair bonding is natural. But the party line here is no, LTRs are "Disney conditioning" - it is only natural to swing from trees and spread your seed to multiple women. Whatever "natural" means - obviously it is natural for humans to build societies. Nature's gift to us is our brains. Which means we are not locked into a narrow pattern of behaviors.
If the "seed spreading" hypothesis really were true, men would never not want to have sex with any particular woman if they could. The mere fact that many men are turned off enough by certain attributes or behaviors women can have to not have sex with them shows, if you needed more than an abstract debunking of it, that talk about "it's natural for men to not want relationships and just want to fvck as many women as possible" is just a backwards rationalization of their own particular proclivity. You could extend it into being a naturalistic fallacy too. Then when others say you don't need to be a caricature of masculinity like that, and that men aren't necessarily that way "naturally", they may proceed to use shaming language that you're "feminine" for not agreeing with them - a tactic (shaming) which they would call out if their enemies (like feminists) did the same.

These will probably be the same guys who in one breath say that women must be led and shaped by men because men are more rational and accountable, but in the next breath have no compunctions about themselves and other men actively fvcking women casually and blaming the women for letting that happen.

There is plenty of rationalization, small mindedness, ego insecurity (needing to prove a caricature of masculinity) and hypocrisy to go around and fuel our thoughts and behaviors.
 
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derby1

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The only way i would get a family going in 2020 is if the woman literally worships her dad, these are the only chics who do LTR's properly.

if she does not spk much of her dad the following will happen:

she will sell you the american dream, you will think shes the love of your life, she will extract a baby from you, then dispose of you
 

GrowingPains

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I'm definitely not to the point of thinking about a family. I'm only 24 and have a handful of years left in my graduate career. Then after that I have to conquer the world.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I feel like they've helped me see what I agree and disagree with. And even what I'm not sure about.

One thing that "troubles" me is that I currently have 3 options as far as women go... maybe 2 depending on how you look at it. One I've been dating since late last year. One that I started dating earlier this year (who is now at home since the campus made undergraduates leave campus). And one that I've picked up in the past couple weeks on campus. The issue is that they're all interesting in their own ways. I'd call them all quality women as far as I know right now.

Brief profiles...

Woman A - grad student, ex college athlete, HB7, goofy, chill, adventurous (in bed and otherwise), feels the same as I do on a lot of things, initially says she doesn't want a relationship but recently we've both expressed interest in the possibility for one, inspiring (we're both into fitness in different ways but have interesting convo's about it, she's in a similar discipline as I am in grad school), since Derby mentioned it... does not talk to her dad at all
I should add I'm not sure how the daddy issues thing comes into play. My ex had daddy issues.. but she was trying to amend them. He was a drug addict growing up and cheated on her mom... so like... it wasn't her fault? I get the sense that something similar is the case with this girl... she just doesn't talk about him at all, I asked why once and she just said she doesn't talk to him.

Woman B - undergrad, college athlete, Hb 7, also goofy, very submissive, virgin but we would've had sex if I wasn't so tired, freaky, inspiring in terms of her outlook on emotional things - I've been going to therapy to understand myself, she's a couple thousand miles away now though until this COVID thing eases up, I've expressed my interest in not being exclusive and she expressed the same sentiment but as time goes on... things are getting more ... idk I just feel like there's expectations as we continue talking about what we'll do when we get back together, she texts to say she's thinking about me... that kinda thing

Woman C - grad student, fit, HB 8, good vibes but we've only really hung out twice so I can't say too much in terms of profiling, sex is amazing, she seems to enjoy ... more expensive things but like I said we've only hung out twice, I've seen her on campus before I recently approached her and thought 'that's the kind of girl I need' based solely on her physical appearance

I say all that just to say that I'm in a pretty good position. Here's these 3 girls I've got in 'rotation' and I think all of them are solid candidates. How do I choose? I feel most drawn to Woman A, we have that bond. Woman B and C both have potential as well but like how long do I drag this out? I like each of them. If I could have it my way... I'd probably keep all 3. But for some reason I can see this blowing up on me. Another advantage of being in a relationship... particularly with a grad student in the same discipline... is that I can focus more. And they will understand if I'm busy. Granted, they all should since we're all students but anyways.

I'd say this is a good problem to have I just... some days I feel like a relationship would be cool. Some days I feel like I just wanna have my cake and eat it too. Some days I'm afraid of going back on my words (ie; expressing to Woman A and B that I don't want to be exclusive). There's just so much going on... Just trying to make sense of it all.
 

derby1

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every girl on my facebook with no dad or a simp dad, is a complete immature **** head......they also allow 2000+ simpatrons to crawl zll over their social media, and are proffessional victims

I dated one who showed no signs of anything bad......and over in her little village where she worked, she had completely tarnished my name...to get attention
 

derby1

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My wifes mother has an alter built to my wifes deceased father since he died.
my nan was the same, i also know a lot of women who think highly of their dad, and they are much better for relationships

I really cant believe how fast this fatherless house epidemic has took off, i was only at school 18 years ago and everyone had a dad
 

Baibars

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The only way i would get a family going in 2020 is if the woman literally worships her dad, these are the only chics who do LTR's properly.

if she does not spk much of her dad the following will happen:

she will sell you the american dream, you will think shes the love of your life, she will extract a baby from you, then dispose of you
This happened identically to me. Especially if youre a young clueless guy and this girl comes across worshipping you it's easy to fall for that.
Why does this happen?
 

derby1

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This happened identically to me. Especially if youre a young clueless guy and this girl comes across worshipping you it's easy to fall for that.
Why does this happen?
lots of reasons, taught men are disposable, misandrist household from the age of 5, welfare rescues all of them with no ticking off
 

GrowingPains

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Let's make this short and sweet:

Woman A - my girlfriend now. This is both exciting and nerve-wracking (re: "I feel so confused that my emotions have caused me to question something I once thought so logical"). But I'm putting my ego aside for a moment to take a gamble and see where life takes me. I enjoy her company, my life is simplified by this move, and I think we can grow into something positive. Stay tuned.

Woman B - we spoke, we're at different places right now. She's interested in the relationship becoming deeper but ... she's too far. And seeing as though Woman A and I are doing this thang... That can't happen. We parted amicably.

Woman C -Banged her on Friday... this is really what led me to making the move to be with Woman A. I mean it was a fun fvck but I didn't wanna stay. She didn't make me feel the way A does.

So here we are gents. I'm looking forward to the experience and we'll see what happens next, ya dig..
 
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