"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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So I wake up to find my car saran wrapped and window painted!

Vice

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So I wake up and find my car saran wrapped and window painted with things like "I just came out of the closet" and "black penis is the best penis"!

LOL

It made my morning! I took a picture without the saran wrap. It was obviously written by a girl, but I have no idea who would have gone through the thought and effort of doing this to me.

And I'm glad that this is all they did, they could have slashed my tires and keyed my car if they really hated me.

The only trouble is that my parents left the house long before I did, so when they come back it's going to be kind of awkward LOL

Great story to tell my friends and girls :)

I was also thinking of putting it up on my myspace and facebook, what do you think?
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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guywhoneedshelp

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Something like this happen to me a couple of months ago.

I could tell it was a female. There were multiple colors written. Things like "master baiter" with a fish drawn, plauged my windshield. On the sides of the car things like "Keep jackin'" and "I touch myself" were written.

It was something that didn't even have a topic or meaning to me. I couldn't even guess who had done it but I could tell it was feminine. $10 at the car wash is what it took to fix the mess.

VdoubleR has a good idea. I eventually went on tell some of the neighborhood people that I would be pressing the play button on my hidden camera system to find out who it was. (I don't actually have security cameras) I think word got out to the person who did it and it prevented them from doing it again.
 

VdoubleR

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Funny stuff, man.
I think you should put the pic on your myspace/facebook with a caption like: "Finger prints are currently being analyzed by the police" lol see what reactions you get.

Definitely a great story to tell the friends and the girls.

-VdoubleR
 

DJDamage

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I don't get it.

Why would you have a goofy smile on your face when someone did this sh1t to your car?! I would still be pissed if someone vandalized my vehicle.

You better hope it was some stranger, because if it was someone you knew (which it probably was), you should sue their asses for vandalizing your property. It doesn't look like the work of just girls, they wouldn't have the balls to do this alone (pun very much so intended).
 

Aragon034

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LMFAO.

I had **** like this happen to me at work. I'd get there and somebody wrote something like "KY Jelly Storage" on my locked filing cabinet in dry marker :p (i was pretty much the only person in the building other than managers with privacy in their work.)

jealousy i guess, though sometimes it would get personal. HR got involved more than once.

I salute your easygoing nature about it! and YES, post it on your facebook/myspace/blog and say something about investigating who did it (jokingly though).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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intheRed

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You're taking it to an an extreme DJDamage. lol
This was obviously a prank, all in good nature. If someone hated you they wouldnt have gone through the trouble of wasting time and effort doing stuff like that to a car. It's much easier to just slash your tires and throw a bucket of paint on your car. Of course, if you do find out who it is, and they happen to be rich. By all means sue their ass and juice them for everything they got. Plead everything in the book including but not limited to emotional damage and inability to go to work =P
 
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