"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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So, I think I have a stalker...an ex-fiancee

mrrippey

Don Juan
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So, about 12 years ago, I had an affair with a woman that was engaged to be married. The affair lasted about a year. We had some good times but I ended it when I realized that she was 'sloppy.' Somehow her man got into her voicemail (remember this is like 2007-2008) and I guess heard my voice. I was very good to not leave any details of anything but at the end of the day, some random man called his woman. WIth that he got my mobile number. He then started to text me and started to talk boldly. That was a mistake.

I am definitely not 'about that life' anymore but back then, I still had some ties to some unsavory people but my friends I grew up with and would do my a solid especially if I was paying. One time when he texted me about 100x, I replied to the one text that said, "I will come to your job..." Well I was a CTO of a major company at the time and, well that was not going to be a good look. I advised him not to do that else I will have to 'go back to my old ways.' I enlisted my buddies to pay him and her a visit at home (I knew where she lived as I have sent her home in cars all the time). I texted her and told her, "I do not want any issues with you nor your man however, if you do like trouble, my friends can handle it. Look outside if you think I'm joking." My buddies rolled up to her block in a couple of SUV's. I think he got the hint. I did not get a call, text, voicemail or anything like that ever again....not for a few years anyway.

About 2012 or so, I was still working in the city but I was consulting and I noticed that he was looking at my LinkedIn page. Now we are not in the same industry so I am not sure why he would visit my page. Anyway, it seems like every few years, he would just show up on my page. He showed up to my page about two weeks ago. Has been maybe 3-4 years since he did that last.

We live in different states but we are not far from each other or anything like that. I just don't want to get shot walking down the street on day and end up on the news. BTW, they never got married, she moved to MA or something and got married to someone else. Once I got off social media, (about 2015 or so but I still use LinkedIn), I have no idea of who is where or nothing to that effect about any of them.

So, I am curious to get your thoughts on this. Should I actually say something, ignore him, block him (I cannot believe I have not blocked him before).
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stoic

Master Don Juan
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Damn man. You and the other woman broke the dudes heart.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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BMX

Master Don Juan
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Fight his sorry a ss.
 

mrrippey

Don Juan
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@Mauser96 I really had not thought about this dude nor this situation until I saw that and since I am on LinkedIn a lot, well anyway. I get your point.

I realize I probably didn't block to not give him the impression that I actually care. Clearly he does.

Well if he is actually gonna try and get me, it will be hard to. I'll block him though, better safe than sorry.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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So, I am curious to get your thoughts on this. Should I actually say something, ignore him, block him (I cannot believe I have not blocked him before).
There are people out there who are obsessive and mentally fvcked up. This guy sounds like one on them. Block him from whatever you can.

I have myself a few stalkers. A former best friend who is thankfully not doing it as much as he used to. I also now have my GF's parents along with her brother who she's cut contact with. I'm convinced that all four of these people have mental health issues due to their bizarre obsessive and stalker-like behavior.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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So, about 12 years ago, I had an affair with a woman that was engaged to be married. The affair lasted about a year. We had some good times but I ended it when I realized that she was 'sloppy.' Somehow her man got into her voicemail (remember this is like 2007-2008) and I guess heard my voice. I was very good to not leave any details of anything but at the end of the day, some random man called his woman. WIth that he got my mobile number. He then started to text me and started to talk boldly. That was a mistake.

I am definitely not 'about that life' anymore but back then, I still had some ties to some unsavory people but my friends I grew up with and would do my a solid especially if I was paying. One time when he texted me about 100x, I replied to the one text that said, "I will come to your job..." Well I was a CTO of a major company at the time and, well that was not going to be a good look. I advised him not to do that else I will have to 'go back to my old ways.' I enlisted my buddies to pay him and her a visit at home (I knew where she lived as I have sent her home in cars all the time). I texted her and told her, "I do not want any issues with you nor your man however, if you do like trouble, my friends can handle it. Look outside if you think I'm joking." My buddies rolled up to her block in a couple of SUV's. I think he got the hint. I did not get a call, text, voicemail or anything like that ever again....not for a few years anyway.

About 2012 or so, I was still working in the city but I was consulting and I noticed that he was looking at my LinkedIn page. Now we are not in the same industry so I am not sure why he would visit my page. Anyway, it seems like every few years, he would just show up on my page. He showed up to my page about two weeks ago. Has been maybe 3-4 years since he did that last.

We live in different states but we are not far from each other or anything like that. I just don't want to get shot walking down the street on day and end up on the news. BTW, they never got married, she moved to MA or something and got married to someone else. Once I got off social media, (about 2015 or so but I still use LinkedIn), I have no idea of who is where or nothing to that effect about any of them.

So, I am curious to get your thoughts on this. Should I actually say something, ignore him, block him (I cannot believe I have not blocked him before).
If all he's doing is looking at your LinkedIn page once every 4 years, I don't think you really need to send out a hit squad.
 

mrrippey

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If all he's doing is looking at your LinkedIn page once every 4 years, I don't think you really need to send out a hit squad.
Not that I would no that now, I am older, wiser and have much more to lose and value my time more than to do something like that. However, we do live in a world where people hold grudges and quite frankly do dumb things.

I blocked him on LinkedIn. I am not on any other social media platforms so he cannot find what is not there.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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The 7th Dimension
SoSuave offers protection plans for members at reasonable rates. PM me for details.

Some of the mods do a little moonlighting during these lean times.
 
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