I met this lady at a club. I believe she was 38 or 39 or so. I was dancing with her cause she was hot. We were having a good time but her friend kept pulling her away and covk blocking me. So she left but got her number. Called her Tuesday she said she was busy and would call me back. Never did. But then early Wednesday morning she called and apologized and said she was busy and all that. She left me a message and I called her back that afternoon and said I had a good time with her and wanted to see if she wants to grab a drink sometime. Never heard from her. What do I do next? And why does she call me back early in the morning if she doesn't have any interest?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
So I met this chick at a club, need opinions...
- Thread starter trent81
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Just let her go. Maybe you will run into her at the same club again. If you do talk to her again, make no mention of her flakiness. Act like you didn't notice.
Any woman's interest in you will ebb and flow. There is no understanding it. Most likely it relates to whatever hormones happen to be flowing through her at any given moment. It's a lot like the weather. Sometimes it rains on you.
Any woman's interest in you will ebb and flow. There is no understanding it. Most likely it relates to whatever hormones happen to be flowing through her at any given moment. It's a lot like the weather. Sometimes it rains on you.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
trent81 said:
You missed three low interest 'signs' here and a couple yellow flags.
1. She allowed her friend to dictate terms to the extent that she left the club because her 'friend" convinced her to do so. Her friend was exerting more influence than you were...it happens to all of us .
2. Tuesday she promised to call you back but never did. I assume that she had your cell so her excuse that she was "busy" was lame. Who is busy all day and all night? Low or moderate IL at best.
3. Your attempt to 'ask her out' was weak . When a woman is iffy, or hemming and hawing, you better take control and lead her or she will retreat. However ,she may also back away at your dominance but at least you will know where you stand with her . You possibly could have rescued the situation on that last call by telling her where and when you planned to see her again but you handed her the choice to see you again or not . She declined by not snapping up your offer .
Oh, NEVER ask a new woman out on her VM - NEVER ,EVER.
Finally, her silence is her MESSAGE to you.
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jophil28
Master Don Juan
trent81 said:
Are you trying to construct some smidgen of belief that she has some interest level in you because she called you back the next morning ?
Look, if she had enough interest level in you she would have sent you some 'buying signals' by now.
Unless she is in traction, or has been kidnapped by aliens, she has had ample opportunity to contact you.
Read my sig.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
