I met this lady at a club. I believe she was 38 or 39 or so. I was dancing with her cause she was hot. We were having a good time but her friend kept pulling her away and covk blocking me. So she left but got her number. Called her Tuesday she said she was busy and would call me back. Never did. But then early Wednesday morning she called and apologized and said she was busy and all that. She left me a message and I called her back that afternoon and said I had a good time with her and wanted to see if she wants to grab a drink sometime. Never heard from her. What do I do next? And why does she call me back early in the morning if she doesn't have any interest?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I met this chick at a club, need opinions...
- Thread starter trent81
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Just let her go. Maybe you will run into her at the same club again. If you do talk to her again, make no mention of her flakiness. Act like you didn't notice.
Any woman's interest in you will ebb and flow. There is no understanding it. Most likely it relates to whatever hormones happen to be flowing through her at any given moment. It's a lot like the weather. Sometimes it rains on you.
Any woman's interest in you will ebb and flow. There is no understanding it. Most likely it relates to whatever hormones happen to be flowing through her at any given moment. It's a lot like the weather. Sometimes it rains on you.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
trent81 said:
You missed three low interest 'signs' here and a couple yellow flags.
1. She allowed her friend to dictate terms to the extent that she left the club because her 'friend" convinced her to do so. Her friend was exerting more influence than you were...it happens to all of us .
2. Tuesday she promised to call you back but never did. I assume that she had your cell so her excuse that she was "busy" was lame. Who is busy all day and all night? Low or moderate IL at best.
3. Your attempt to 'ask her out' was weak . When a woman is iffy, or hemming and hawing, you better take control and lead her or she will retreat. However ,she may also back away at your dominance but at least you will know where you stand with her . You possibly could have rescued the situation on that last call by telling her where and when you planned to see her again but you handed her the choice to see you again or not . She declined by not snapping up your offer .
Oh, NEVER ask a new woman out on her VM - NEVER ,EVER.
Finally, her silence is her MESSAGE to you.
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jophil28
Master Don Juan
trent81 said:
Are you trying to construct some smidgen of belief that she has some interest level in you because she called you back the next morning ?
Look, if she had enough interest level in you she would have sent you some 'buying signals' by now.
Unless she is in traction, or has been kidnapped by aliens, she has had ample opportunity to contact you.
Read my sig.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
