MisterMike
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2017
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 31
- Age
- 36
I'm noticing women seem to expect a level excitement in a conversation right off the bat. Anyone else experienced this or is just my perception?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Oddly enough, I used to be in the "I don't like small talk" crowd. Then I learned....I've made the mistake of under estimating the power of small talk before, especially when getting to know someone.
There are many aspects of good conversation: small talk, debate, philosophy, banter, humour, opinion, public affairs etc etc. A good conversationalist is well versed in all, and does not rely on one or another thing in particular.
It's good to hold conversation with lots of different people every day, not just got girls. Then, when one does turn up, you go completely unphased, to whatever happens.
Who cares what they ‘expect?’I'm noticing women seem to expect a level excitement in a conversation right off the bat. Anyone else experienced this or is just my perception?
I will absolutely look into that as it sounds very insightful. The situation I've run into seems a bit more strange, it happens rarely but I noticed because it happened twice in one day.There is a good book by an engineer on the subject that is worth a read.
The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine.
In it she goes through various methods to improve your conversational skills and increase your social calibration.
And she was a naturally geeky introvert by her own admission. It's quite a practical book, short, and useful. Order a copy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This is good advice. What I'm talking about isn't that far into the conversation though it's literally in the opening 2 to 4 four sentences before any of that can take place.In my experience, less is more.
Nothing gets a pvssy more drier than long political debates, endless opiniated wallowing or trying to impress her with you standup comedy skills.
Just be the empty projection screen on which she can project herself, let her do the talking, all you need to do is show with your body language that you want her sexually.
That sounds like the old joke about the marine who gets slapped a lot.Who cares what they ‘expect?’
Can’t fall into their frame bro. Do you want to sleep with them, be their friend, or impress them? If you want to sleep with them, the less time you have for small talk and get to the point, the more likely they will think you are a man with options.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.