"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
So, I decided to run a little experiment....
- Thread starter Asterisk
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Igetit!
Moderator
Asterisk said:
Love her so much that you feel she's the only person on earth that matters? And willing to go to extremes for her? Huh.
Unless I'm mistaken,I believe that's called "oneitis" my friend.
I could maybe see that for a wife,or someone you've been in a relationship with for a long period of time,but if you mean for some chick you just met whom you find attractive,yeah....I believe that's oneitis.
Well it's cool you stumbled upon this idea and I'm glad you got these positive results,but honestly....all you did was show that you're new to this place.Well, I decided to try something a little different. I picked 5 girls I know (no, not family, you pervert!) and tried to form a crush on all 5 at once. Immediately it was different. I felt happy, confident, a bit ****y and even a little bit sexual. I love? maybe.head over heels? absolutely not.
Give it a shot yourself. Pick 5 girls you know (again not family you weirdo!)
and think about them all at once. Try to give yourself crush on all 5 at the same time. Think about them as you would a single crush. Think about everything would do with them (or to them
We have a term for what you did here. It's widely preached and is actually pretty common advice. It's called "Spinning plates".
I've actually been lurking here for 5 years.
I've read the DJ Bible, I've read the Book of Pook,
so yeah, I know what spinning plates is.
This was just an exercise I came up with to simulate the idea.
To boost confidence before going into the field.
To remind myself that I am the Great Catch
As you know, this mindset is important to anyone who would be Don Juan.
Personally, I think it's a nice idea to keep oneitis away for those who do not yet have multiple options.