So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[Atom Smasher]

Even though you almost always ignore what I write here to you, out of the kindness of my heart, I will tell you what happened and what you should do.

You made the mistake of having a mundane conversation with her via text. You literally became just like one of her girlfriends. They are the ones who do the casual/light "what are you doing today?" stuff.

You became common, no different from her friends. You showed her point-blank that you are interested in her and pursuing her.

You should have held her at arm's length and used text only for setting up a date. That's how it should be this early in the game. This is the only way to create mystery and uncertainty in a woman.

Will a woman sit through a movie when she knows the ending? Of course not. There is no more emotional tension during the movie because she already knows the outcome. Women want a man who tests her to see if she is suitable for him.

The only way to salvage is to tell her "Hey, I'm doing XYZ on [whatever day]. I'd like you to accompany me." or something similar. This way you put an end to speculation. If she says no or ghosts, she is not interested and you move on. If she says yes, than great, but either way is great because all speculation and guessing has ceased.

 

[bigdave17]

Even though you almost always ignore what I write here to you, out of the kindness of my heart, I will tell you what happened and what you should do.

You made the mistake of having a mundane conversation with her via text. You literally became just like one of her girlfriends. They are the ones who do the casual/light "what are you doing today?" stuff.

You became common, no different from her friends. You showed her point-blank that you are interested in her and pursuing her.

You should have held her at arm's length and used text only for setting up a date. That's how it should be this early in the game. This is the only way to create mystery and uncertainty in a woman.

Will a woman sit through a movie when she knows the ending? Of course not. There is no more emotional tension during the movie because she already knows the outcome. Women want a man who tests her to see if she is suitable for him.

The only way to salvage is to tell her "Hey, I'm doing XYZ on [whatever day]. I'd like you to accompany me." or something similar. This way you put an end to speculation. If she says no or ghosts, she is not interested and you move on. If she says yes, than great, but either way is great because all speculation and guessing has ceased.

A lot of people online tell me its a good idea to build a little rapport via text.

I was gonna ask for the date immediately after that. I wasn't gonna keep texting her for days

You really think its good to ask for a date the first text after you get number?

 

[guru1000]

A lot of people online tell me its a good idea to build a little rapport via text.

Yes you can text IF you were a seasoned vet. Most newbies put their foot in their mouth so newbies are advised not to text and text only to schedule dates.

As to why she ghosted when you asked how she enjoyed living in Illinois? Simply put, it's a low value question. A text this early in the game is supposed to encapsulate her emotions and have her lol lol all over the place while demonstrating higher value. Your text was more of a," I really don't have much social acuity and am a boring low value dude with little social life, so uh, how is Illinois???"

Just stay away from texting until you get more seasoned. The perfect exchange (for YOU right now) would go like this:

Dave: Hi, it's Dave from XYZ, how are you?

Her: I'm good, bla bla bla , you?

<a few hours later>

Dave: I'm great. It was nice meeting you the other night and I had a lot of fun. Lets do it again, this Thursday 8pm at XYZ. Can you meet me there?

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer, S&D her. Simple.

Stick to the basics for now. Your text game will transpose over time.

 

[RickTheToad]

I sometimes think Dave likes to sabotage his chances by doing stupid sh!t above. I waive the white flag. Does everything we tell him not to do.

 

[corrector]

Hey guys I need your expert advice. I started texting her yesterday at 11 am. Very casual/light stuff asking her what she had planned for today (she had some bday party to go to). She asked me what im doing and i just said I'm working out and then seeing my folks. She told me I'm lucky and that her parents were back in AZ. She was responding instantly to me. She texted me at 1 and then i responded back at 3 cause I was working out. I just asked here if she enjoyed living in Illinois (she moved here couple years ago)

That was yesterday at 3. She hasn't responded back. Is this a dead lead? Should i text her to ask for a date anyways in couple days?

I guess she doesn't enjoy living in Illinois. Ask her if she would prefer to live in Australia instead in a follow up text. Next time, focus on nice fuzzy warm areas in the world. Complain about the weather and ask her if she would like to visit Mexico together with you or something like that. Put a spin on this and see if she takes the bait.

 

[bigdave17]

Yes you can text IF you were a seasoned vet. Most newbies put their foot in their mouth so newbies are advised not to text and text only to schedule dates.

As to why she ghosted when you asked how she enjoyed living in Illinois? Simply put, it's a low value question. A text this early in the game is supposed to encapsulate her emotions and have her lol lol all over the place while demonstrating higher value. Your text was more of a," I really don't have much social acuity and am a boring low value dude with little social life, so uh, how is Illinois???"

Just stay away from texting until you get more seasoned. The perfect exchange (for YOU right now) would go like this:

Dave: Hi, it's Dave from XYZ, how are you?

Her: I'm good, bla bla bla , you?

<a few hours later>

Dave: I'm great. It was nice meeting you the other night and I had a lot of fun. Lets do it again, this Thursday 8pm at XYZ. Can you meet me there?

Anything other than a yes or counteroffer, S&D her. Simple.

Stick to the basics for now. Your text game will transpose over time.

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

All this shyte about how to text individual people is utterly useless.

Talk to hundreds girls, get hundreds of numbers, send hundreds of texts, and try out a bunch of different things.

After a few years, you'll not be asking such silly questions.

You're like a second grader in little league who wants to have an extended conversation with this coach after every single pitch.

Jesus.

 

[guru1000]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

She ghosted you. I would drop her but you and I operate on different levels of abundance. You'll get to abundance eventually--IF you keep trying.

Wait a week. Waiting a week serves as a reset button. Then, open her with something you guys chatted about that was funny to prompt her response. Wait a couple hours, and then invite her to the date. You have about a 20% chance of turnaround with this one week S&D, dip into past rapport, and invite.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

Small talk in person = Good.
Small talk via text = Relationship Killer.

You have nothing to lose now. Wait till tomorrow and then fire out a statement that you'd like her to join you for XYZ.

At this point texting should be used extremely sparingly. It's best to use it just for setting up dates (in other words, practical plans). When a man texts small talk, he seems like he's idle with nothing important to do. She knows she is that way and so are her friends. She wants you to be above her, someone who does important things, someone she can look up to.

In fact, they LOVE wondering what you're doing. That is huge for women. When you're having a text conversation with her, all that exciting wondering goes out the window. Be scarce, man. Scarcity attracts, and being common repels when it comes to women.

 

[corrector]

Okay. Just rely on my presence in person it sounds like. I have good chemistry with her

Chemistry in person is 90% how you carry yourself right? Body language and tone of voice?

Is this a dead prospect if she never replies back to me or should i ask her out on thursday or friday regardless?

You don't get it. This is how it typically goes. You can have a 100% amazing time, perfect in person chemistry and then the girl is gone. Most people who meet other women online typically have a first meeting, and very rarely a second date, and even more unlikely anything beyond that. Anything that went well in a past date is ancient history and doesn't matter if there is no follow-up on her end.

Women are notorious for ghosting with no explanation. Maybe she was looking for ego-validation after the break-up. Maybe she meet another dude. Maybe she's talking to her ex again. You don't know why. Your numbers are just too painfully small but stuff like this is water off a duck's back to a normie. Your acting incel if this stuff bothers you that much no matter what success you had in your past.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Never forget that normal, non show-biz men cannot, in any way, shape of form, be globally appealing to women. Women can indeed be globally appealing, but not men. That's because women have a multitude of things they can do to fit men's template (makeup, clothing, etc.)

I found that the trick is to discover the type of woman who you appeal to, and once you do, it's shooting fish in a barrel. For me, it is Christian women whose faith is devout. For others it will be something different.

Funny thing is that once you handle that subset of women, women from other subsets start becoming attracted, because you start acting as a man with backbone. I always say, I used to be completely invisible to almost all women. Now they actually bother me with attention when I go to the store. What has changed? Just steady, tiny improvements in my life by taking the hammer and chisel to myself year after year. All that pounding away is tough, but the fruit of it is very sweet.

Never think you can be universally attractive. You can only ever appeal to a subset of women. Wise is the man who recognizes this and fishes his productive waters.

 

[RickTheToad]

Never forget that normal, non show-biz men cannot, in any way, shape of form, be globally appealing to women. Women can indeed be globally appealing, but not men. That's because women have a multitude of things they can do to fit men's template (makeup, clothing, etc.)

I found that the trick is to discover the type of woman who you appeal to, and once you do, it's shooting fish in a barrel. For me, it is Christian women whose faith is devout. For others it will be something different.

Funny thing is that once you handle that subset of women, women from other subsets start becoming attracted, because you start acting as a man with backbone. I always say, I used to be completely invisible to almost all women. Now they actually bother me with attention when I go to the store. What has changed? Just steady, tiny improvements in my life by taking the hammer and chisel to myself year after year. All that pounding away is tough, but the fruit of it is very sweet.

Never think you can be universally attractive. You can only ever appeal to a subset of women. Wise is the man who recognizes this and fishes his productive waters.

Hey, it's understandable. Not everyone can be a Greek God like Rick. Completely understandable. Lol.

 

[spinich]

Sigh..Dave you never fail to disappoint those who know you could screw up a wet dream. Only regret no one took up my wager regarding you blowing this opportunity. I would be pleasantly surprised if you would decide to go to Arminia and find your wonder woman. But alas you will not follow through on that fantasy either.

 

[RickTheToad]

The very last thing Dave should be doing right now is focusing on every step he takes with this girl. This is a guaranteed fail because it is essentially an attempt to navigate the entire seduction process from beginning to end without making one mistake.

What Dave should be doing is replicating success.

He should be out there talking to more women in exactly the same manner he talked to this one. He should be getting phone numbers in exactly the same manner as he got this one. He should be out there mastering the first step and duplicating that success over and over again until it is second nature.

In the process of doing this, desperation will take care of itself. It will not have to be analyzed. If he always has 2, 3 or 5 women to talk to that he is interested in, he will give much less a fvck if one stops writing back. Mistakes will be avoided through abundance and success will be reinforced through repetition.

THEN you start to focus on the next step of communication, replicating and mastering success there.

Trying to walk the entire seductive process flawlessly through on the first go with no other women or options available is guaranteed to send Dave running right back into his protective shell when it fails.

Like most dudes, he needs to develop a IDGAF type of attitude. Its not as easy for all dudes to master. It takes accepting a lot of rejection an not allowing it to throw you off center.

 

[bigdave17]

Never forget that normal, non show-biz men cannot, in any way, shape of form, be globally appealing to women. Women can indeed be globally appealing, but not men. That's because women have a multitude of things they can do to fit men's template (makeup, clothing, etc.)

I found that the trick is to discover the type of woman who you appeal to, and once you do, it's shooting fish in a barrel. For me, it is Christian women whose faith is devout. For others it will be something different.

Funny thing is that once you handle that subset of women, women from other subsets start becoming attracted, because you start acting as a man with backbone. I always say, I used to be completely invisible to almost all women. Now they actually bother me with attention when I go to the store. What has changed? Just steady, tiny improvements in my life by taking the hammer and chisel to myself year after year. All that pounding away is tough, but the fruit of it is very sweet.

Never think you can be universally attractive. You can only ever appeal to a subset of women. Wise is the man who recognizes this and fishes his productive waters.

I don't need to be universally attractive. I just want 1 girl to have a relationship with. Should be pretty easy in theory

 

[bigdave17]

The very last thing Dave should be doing right now is focusing on every step he takes with this girl. This is a guaranteed fail because it is essentially an attempt to navigate the entire seduction process from beginning to end without making one mistake.

What Dave should be doing is replicating success.

He should be out there talking to more women in exactly the same manner he talked to this one. He should be getting phone numbers in exactly the same manner as he got this one. He should be out there mastering the first step and duplicating that success over and over again until it is second nature.

In the process of doing this, desperation will take care of itself. It will not have to be analyzed. If he always has 2, 3 or 5 women to talk to that he is interested in, he will give much less a fvck if one stops writing back. Mistakes will be avoided through abundance and success will be reinforced through repetition.

THEN you start to focus on the next step of communication, replicating and mastering success there.

Trying to walk the entire seductive process flawlessly through on the first go with no other women or options available is guaranteed to send Dave running right back into his protective shell when it fails.

So moving forward, focus on doing a great job in person and then when i get the number, text quickly and move for a date

I still want to give more of an effort with this one. Should i wait until thursday and ask her out on a date?

 

[RickTheToad]

 

[bigdave17]

You seem to think the more you are in her face the more she will like you. Wrong! The more you insist on being in her face... the more you will paint yourself as desperate. If you don’t stop there and keep pushing it escalated beyond desperate to becoming creepy to a woman.

You are not selling a car. You are seducing a woman.

I am not in her face. She was texting me back instantly and i haven't messaged her since yesterday afternoon

I want to make sure I'm doing the right things as a habit. Approaching right way, messaging right way and pacing things right way

It doesn't matter if it doesn't work out with her but i still want to give a good effort

When i do ask a woman out for a date, you guys all seem to say "I'm going to be here at 7, do you want to come join me." Does that mean im basically asking her to come with me on a date while I'm with my friends? I would really much rather have a 1 on 1 for first date

Is it a bad idea to ask if she wants to go out somewhere that it would be just me and her?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

The how are you enjoying Illinois text was cringe. I remember when I asked stupid questions like that

 

[bigdave17]

What would you do if you had 2 more interesting women just like her still responding to you?

I would still ask her out. I'm trained to pursue all leads until the very end, lol