"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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so here's the deal with this chick

B

Black Casanova

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k, know this girl, yadda yaddda. through college.

called her, was like "we should get dinner sometime"

she sounded really excited, so I'm like great

so i go up to the cafeteria, supposed to be at 8. so i called her at like 8 05 or osmething, she said she was in a meeting for a group that we're both in that had ran over. that's certainly possible, but I was like, okay, move on.

saw her the next day at a function, she grabbed me and pulled me off to the side and was like "im so sorry the meeting ran over, i didnt get out until like ten"

this was the cancer walk (relay for life) so, there was a silent lap that night, while we were walking around she came up next to me and linked arms with me
so I figured I'd call her again try to set something up

I called her, this was in finals week, she was like "defintiely we should get dinner sometime"

she called me that day and said she really had to study hard for this upcoming final, because she was in danger of failing the class. which I suppose is possible but ok,whatever.

school gets out, I hadnt talked to her. my birthday was last thursday, she called me at 12:10 am to wish me happy birthday and we talked for a bit

so do you guys think she's just uninterested in me that way and was using those events as excuses or I just happened to try to schedule the dinner at a bad time or what?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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L

lordson

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they all sound like legit reasons to me

exams is a big thing

keep trying, be a bit more pro-active, take charge, but not too needy and desperate for that dinner either
 
Y

Yce

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lordson said:
they all sound like legit reasons to me

exams is a big thing

keep trying, be a bit more pro-active, take charge, but not too needy and desperate for that dinner either
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NO! Don't "keep trying". You already tried - twice. If she's High Interest, she will reciprocate with a date offer of her own. You should be thinking about adding more plates to your collection right now and stop focusing solely on this one.
 
D

DonGorgon

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Yce said:
NO! Don't "keep trying". You already tried - twice. If she's High Interest, she will reciprocate with a date offer of her own. You should be thinking about adding more plates to your collection right now and stop focusing solely on this one.
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Exactly...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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S

Social Calibration

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Seems like real reasons, don't be needy, you already showed interest so if she's interested she'll make something work.
 
D

DonJuan11

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Black Casanova said:
called her, was like "we should get dinner sometime"

she sounded really excited, so I'm like great

so i go up to the cafeteria, supposed to be at 8. so i called her at like 8 05 or osmething, she said she was in a meeting for a group that we're both in that had ran over. that's certainly possible, but I was like, okay, move on.

She said have told you she was in a meeting way before 8:05, and you should have called her out on it, and she should have called you, not you call her. She couldn't tell you at 7? 7:15, 7:30? If made plans with Jessica Alba at 8 and you were in a meeting that ran over, wouldn't you phone her ASAP to tell her?

saw her the next day at a function, she grabbed me and pulled me off to the side and was like "im so sorry the meeting ran over, i didnt get out until like ten"

"You should have phoned me at 7:30 to let me know, we made plans and I was waiting for you. "


so I figured I'd call her again try to set something up

I called her, this was in finals week, she was like "defintiely we should get dinner sometime"

Right there you should have said "OK, pick a time a place that's good for you." You should have thrown it back her court. Notice she's throwing in back in your court again so she can set you up for rejection again. If you tell her to pick a time, she cannot use it as an excuse.


she called me that day and said she really had to study hard for this upcoming final, because she was in danger of failing the class. which I suppose is possible but ok,whatever.

school gets out, I hadnt talked to her. my birthday was last thursday, she called me at 12:10 am to wish me happy birthday and we talked for a bit

so do you guys think she's just uninterested in me that way and was using those events as excuses or I just happened to try to schedule the dinner at a bad time or what?
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Well dude it appears she's phoning you a bit and knows when your b-day is, which is good. But she's not giving you much face-to-face meetings, which is not good. It's almost like she's trying to inflate her ego by spending as little time as possible with you.

I would tell her to pick a time and date that work for her for dinner since the last few times she's been busy. If she flakes, as easy as it as to say, keep her as friend and find a girl who's willing to tongue wrestle with you and is worth your time.

Peace
 
A

ATG

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Social Calibration said:
Seems like real reasons, don't be needy, you already showed interest so if she's interested she'll make something work.
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co-sign
 
R

russian2

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listen to these guys they are right, do not ask her out again. i asked this one girl to the movies 2 times, first excuse was that she would be out of town for the weekend *and she was i saw pictures*, and the other time she got out of work late *i work with her, she did*. so i didnt invite her again. a month later she said, "why do you never hang out with me." and i said, "i invited you out 2 times and it didnt work out. were going to the movies tonight
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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B

Black Casanova

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thanks, I was thinking that the best thing to do would be to just chill and let her make the next move.

alright, I'll do that
 
Y

Yce

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Black Casanova said:
thanks, I was thinking that the best thing to do would be to just chill and let her make the next move.

alright, I'll do that
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No. The BEST thing for you to do is not to "chill" and wait on her. That's a great way to develop oneitis, by the way. You should rather find yourself some new, high interest, non-flaky chicks to date - i.e.: the ones that respect your time. Once you do that, whether she makes a move or not will actually stop mattering! Get it?
 
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