"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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So am at the bar.

FindingMyCool

Don Juan
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I'm suited up, at the bar, the room is mine so am comfortable and I belong. My body language is saying "hello ladies". So I order my whiskey and a group of girls approach the bar beside me. I wait, contemplating which hand I play to get among the group. I then proceed to do absolutely nothing, assuring myself that it was too early to strike. Soon, the nights over and I've just lost. Such a disappointing feeling. Actually, I got a girls number that night and chatted up a few others but I hate that hesitation and feeling that I need to wait till the moments right. It's ALWAYS right. Am I mistaken? How do I get over this!

Sup?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
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you make it the right moment.

"not the right time" is for when you took action and it didnt work out.

there are only opportunities taken and opportunities lost. not right or wrong moments
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
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Canada, eh?
There is such a thing as the wrong moment,i.e. when she is busy or is chatting to some other guy (good way to start a fight). You could of course try to steal her from another guy if ya smooth enough.

Still, there should be a window for you to get in there, just dont pass up on the first opportunity that offers itself, recognize it, be ready on what to say (ahead of time) and throw yourself in there - spontaneous, freestyle,and immediate.
 

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
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let me clarify. Your right there are wrong moments. e.i. she is puking on a street corner.

but an opportunity ,as you had there, is never right or wrong.
 
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