So, after multiple dates, she finally drops the bomb...

[like2jam]

So, I've been dating this woman. We've been on a grand total of 4 dates plus an initial meetup.

Finally, we're alone, watching a movie. We had already been out for some food.
We had a pretty intense makeout session, shirts off etc. But she won't go all the way. Fine.

Then, she says, well, I need to take things slowly.. because I have two STDs! ( Herpes and HPV ) ( and she also basically told me that she used to sleep around a lot and that she's changed her ways now - which is another reason why she wanted to take it slow )

So, has this happened to you yet? What do you think, and what would you do?

I was already on the fence in terms of if I thought she could be a good LTR or not. And now this, which complicates things. Truth is that I don't like the idea of it. But if I never see her again, that wouldn't be the only reason, but it would play a part. I'm sure she would think that's the only reason.

I can't catch a break it seems. Ugh.

 

[Renegade357]

I swear someone else just made a post just like this a week ago. You can't be catching STDs for a chick you just met man. I'd run if I was you.

 

[Vidrio]

Run

 

[apprenticedj]

Definitely a no-go but I will give her props, at least she told you!!! My brother, it's time to say NEXT!

 

[BeDJ]

If you would have went for the bang on the first or second date, you would have found out before the emotional attachment began. Logically, the best and only thing to do is NEXT, but are you able to? There is no need for an explanation - You do NOT owe this woman anything. Let her find her knight in shining armor that will take the fall for her past.

 

[Wolfgang D]

I can't catch a break it seems. Ugh.

But you can catch something else!

Sorry, had to. Ahem.

Too bad to hear that, it must be very frustrating for you. Investing time and effort, and then finding out that you can't go any further. Damn it.

I'm not sure she could do it any other way, though. She can't really tell a guy that she has STDs the first time she sees him, then she will never find out if things could go any further. She is also in her forties, I gather? So she is looking for a permanent relationship. It must be hard. She did it the way it has to be done I suppose, met a potential partner a few times so he could get to know her, and then told him before she kissed him or anything.

You should tell her that there are dating sites for people with herpes and other STDs, for example these:

http://www.positivesingles.com/
http://www.herpespassions.com/


Hope you won't let this weigh you down too much. Stay positive! But negative. Medically.

 

[JoeMarron]

Obvious next but let her down gently. The fact that she isn't an evil b!tch and decided to tell you is commendable.

Hope you won't let this weigh you down too much. Stay positive! But negative. Medically.

:crackup:

 

[Stort_Brød]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFk7hZFN7E

 

[nismo-4]

Be glad she told you. Drop her ass and run. And be thankful.

I'd rather catch pokemon than STD's.

Case closed.

 

[like2jam]

Thanks for the feedback. It's what I expected. And yeah, I do need to figure out how to let her down gently.

Oh, and she did kiss me quite a bit before telling me. But she didn't have any sores or anything. Hopefully nothing was transferred that way. Yikes.

Yeah, it does suck to invest a bunch of time and money too, only to find out this bad news. I'm sure a lot of people are out there dealing with this. At least she came clean and told me before I got into her panties.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I had a scare with this for awhile.... luckily it was just a scare... you might be stuck with her now, don't dump her right away till you get tested yourself.

 

[Iceberg]

I had a scare with this for awhile.... luckily it was just a scare... you might be stuck with her now, don't dump her right away till you get tested yourself.

Get tested for what? He didn't have sex with her. If the girl went through the effort of telling him that she has herpes, then she's talking about genital herpes.

Since 80% of the adult population already has oral herpes, I don't think she was talking about that.

So, if this dude goes into his doctor talking about "I kissed a girl. Do I have herpes?" the doctor's gonna laugh him out of the room.

Oral herpes is HSV-1....genital herpes is HSV-2. Two different diseases....and HSV-2 is the one you REALLY don't want.

 

[like2jam]

Yeah, I really don't think I need to be tested. We never had sex. It doesn't sound likely that I could get the genital herpes virus ( orally ) from kissing her, although I suppose it is remotely possible.

 

[Stort_Brød]

Be glad she told you. Drop her ass and run. And be thankful.

I'd rather catch pokemon than STD's.

Case closed.

Charizard

A sexual move when you light a girls pubes on fire and put them out with your ejaculate. You then flap your arms widly and yell "you do not have enough badges to train me!"

 

[Driggs]

I'd do it. Neither of those are life threatening, are treatable with drugs and are probably going to be cured. If you are sleeping around you are going to catch them anyway. Also there is a vaccine for HPV which will make you immune to it.

Make sure she is taking her medication, get the HPV vaccine and wear a condom and you should be good to go.

 

[like2jam]

The HPV Vaccine is only recommended for males up to age 26...

Apparently there are a wide variation of HPV strains, some not so dangerous and others more so.

 

[Albatross953]

I just started hpv vaccine at age 41. Takes six months though and you gotta ask for it.

Figured one less thing...

 

[Driggs]

The sad thing about this is that those diseases are so common you have probably ****ed lots of women who have them and didn't say anything about it. This lady was honest.

I'd do it but that's just me. She will think the world of you.

 

[Iceberg]

I'd do it. Neither of those are life threatening, are treatable with drugs and are probably going to be cured. If you are sleeping around you are going to catch them anyway. Also there is a vaccine for HPV which will make you immune to it.

Make sure she is taking her medication, get the HPV vaccine and wear a condom and you should be good to go.

Well, most STDs aren't life-threatening. But still....they're not the kind of thing you're okay with getting.

And I wouldn't assume that he's going to get those STDs anyway just by sleeping around. About 16% of the population has herpes. So the vast majority of us don't have it.

The sad thing about this is that those diseases are so common you have probably ****ed lots of women who have them and didn't say anything about it. This lady was honest.

I'd do it but that's just me. She will think the world of you.

Damn. You really want him to date this girl, don't you?

 

[HalfAddict]

If you are sexually active, you are already likely infected with HPV... You could see warts, but that's not as likely.

It is known to cause cervical cancer in women...