Snooped Into Her Email...

[charolastra]

Hi,

Last month, I ended up my relationship with my girlfriend in a
civilized way. A month went by and I never gave her signs that I was
concerned (hurt) in any way, although I was.

Last week I did snooped into her email and found out she's with a new
guy (or may have been all along). I think she suspects I may have read
her emails at some point as she implied in an email she sent me.

I haven't replied to any of her emails nor I want to acknowledge I
did snoop into her emails, let alone that I know about her new guy.

My question:
I know the damage is done and I made the fool by snooping.

What should I do or say if one day she confronts me about it (at the
gym or something)? I don't want her back but don't want to be caught off guard either. How can I redeem myself?

Will she always look upon me as the nosy guy who pretended to
"be over her" but all reality, was still clinging???

Rene

 

[GrimPhallic]

Dood come on, just deny it. She has no way of finding out it was you... Just keep ignoring her and treating her like you could care less, and get the fvck over her...

Just deny it

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

What in the world is a 36-year-old doing snooping into the email of his ex-girlfriend?

The relationship is over, that's just a fact that you need to learn to accept. And stop snooping in her email. You're not going to learn anything in it that you are going to want to know anyway.

 

[DrDope]

While it would be poor enough form to snoop into her email while you were dating, snooping now is unconscionable. You're not even together. What do you care what she does?

This is almost like stalking.

 

[chili kat]

Brother, you've got to stop this. As innocent and rational as it may seem to you now it IS the beginning of stalking. It's not just the snooping either, but also this curiousity of what she's doing now and this planning in your head on future debates with her.

Unless you absolutely have to see her periodically (work together...whatever), learn to forget she exists. Worry about nothing. Go get some new numbers....

 

[charolastra]

You guys are right! But I'm glad I did snoop and found out what she's all about. Had I not found out, she would have come around in a few months pretending to have missed me, and since I loved her, I would have probably bought it...

It's not that I miss her or anything... She just pretended I was the "perfect catch" (as she would say) and played along... It all took me by surprise but I've learned from it.

Rene

 

[Luveno]

DocLove actually prasied snooping in GFs emails, so that you may know if there is any hanky panky going on that you are not aware of.

In this case, she was your ex. You shouldn't have cared enough for her to do so, but you did, and you found out that she's doing the thing any sane ex would do: she's out playing the game.

Why aren't you out playing the game?

 

[So pimp its scary]

I'm glad that you know that you made the fool by searching her e-mail.

I also hope that you were going to dump the girl prior to looking through her email, because if you look through a girls e-mail, there is a good chance that you will find something that you do NOT want to read about.

 

[Movin on up]

Man I did this once when I was 17.... and I am still ashamed of it. Even though I did find out she was with another guy.
They way I went about it was all wrong.
You'll look back on this and think, awww shlt that was damn stupid of me.

 

[Sh0t]

Don't do anything, she's an ex now right?

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by Luveno
DocLove actually prasied snooping in GFs emails, so that you may know if there is any hanky panky going on that you are not aware of.

In this case, she was your ex. You shouldn't have cared enough for her to do so, but you did, and you found out that she's doing the thing any sane ex would do: she's out playing the game.

Why aren't you out playing the game?

Yeah really WTF is wrong with snooping her emails if you have suspicion as long as it goes undetected? Seems like a good way to gather intelligence on your GF; like ol' Doc Love says, dating is warfare. Not sure why she suspected you did it. You must be leaving some details out, but like Grimphallic said just deny it.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by ketostix
dating is warfare

Happiness will never be achieved through this philosophy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
What in the world is a 36-year-old doing snooping into the email of his ex-girlfriend?

The relationship is over, that's just a fact that you need to learn to accept. And stop snooping in her email. You're not going to learn anything in it that you are going to want to know anyway.

I'll add that if you he was seeing other women, we wouldn't have the time nor the inclination to do something so AFC. But then again, if he's in the mindset to need to snoop into his ex's business, maybe it wouldn't be a good time to start seeing other women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Happiness will never be achieved through this philosophy.

Yeah, that's a bit harsh.

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Happiness will never be achieved through this philosophy.

Agreed, but I frame that concept as more of not falling into the nice guy, teddy bear trap than one of conflict. Yeah I don't agree with everything Doc Love says either.

 

[Luveno]

Charolastra definitely shouldn't have cared enough to go lookin through his girlfriend's email. The fact that he had a giant case of one-itis is kind of pathetic.

However, now that he did, he knows what she has been up to(which does not put her at fault, it just made Charolastra privy to the reality of his situation) and that he should pack up and move on.

So, for him, the snooping was a good thing. It was pathetic, but if he hadn't have done it he would be even more of a fool.

Snooping really isn't an option, in my opinion, unless you have the sneaking suspicion that your current girlfriend is up to something wrong. You'd be surprised how many girls can't keep their mouths shut over email about their adulterous escapades.

One gaining the knowledge that his girlfriend is dishonest puts him at an advantage, for he can deftly sever all ties with the girl without regret - his decision is based on fact, not assumption.

 

[ketostix]

Luveno said what I was thinking perfectly.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

Originally posted by ketostix
Yeah really WTF is wrong with snooping her emails if you have suspicion as long as it goes undetected? Seems like a good way to gather intelligence on your GF; like ol' Doc Love says, dating is warfare. Not sure why she suspected you did it. You must be leaving some details out, but like Grimphallic said just deny it.

It's called "ethics" and "Honor ", if you don't understand, someone effed up raising you!!!

 

[coolguy676767]

Just deny it

 

[coldcoal]

TROLL