"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Smoking out flakey women...

AmIAFC

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This is what happened today at work:

Girl and I started chatting at work, and she mentions how I'm no longer going to the cafe across the street (popular hangout for my co-workers) for a drink, like I used to back in the day with her (like 2 weeks ago). I give her a BS excuse, when in reality, I've been seeing someone else in the area, and whenever I clock out, I race over to her apartment for some "attention."

This girl then proceeds to ask me if I wanted to have drinks with her after work, and in a classic power-shift move, I reciprocated the offer and offered to take her somewhere else at the end of the work week. She lights up and immediately says "Yes" (no hesitation).

20 minutes later, she comes by, saying she couldn't give me a definitive answer (when, in fact, she did), knowing firsthand from previous experience how much I detest being stood-up. I told her that I appreciated all of that, but I needed a "Yes" or "No" answer from her. She smiles, looks sideways, and said "Ok, I can't go, so no." I respond with an "I knew you would do that" smirk/look on my face, and tell her that's fine.

So, fellow DJs, did I do this right? Should I have said something more about her unsuccessful flake attempt? More importantly, can you help me determine, based on this little event, her interest level?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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spider_007

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most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by spider_007
most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
Right, but she once accused me of being a control freak, and I was wondering if this latest episode possibly amplified that accusation, and by forcing her to give me a straight answer, could I have jeopardized any level of interest she might have in me.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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AmIAFC

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
So I should just give up or next her? Persistence shouldn't be a factor in this equation?
 

Gnr7112

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you've got a woman right now, why do you care so much about this girl? Even after her flaking on you.. You were not a control freak, you were just standing up for your self & she didnt like it.
 

BrotherAP

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If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by BrotherAP
If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
Which particular chapter?
 

DJ4Real

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Learn to be in control without being a control freak.....you want to lead her not make her a demands slave...if you know what I'm saying.


Good Luck:cool:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DonJuanMonk

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Um, you can't smoke out flakes. What you can do is have a backup plan if you don't get a date.
 

comote

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I would have made a point of telling her how she just broke my heart and will have to make it up to me sometime. The whole time I would have had a smile on my face making her realize I am not the least bit heartbroken and will be just fine without her.

I don't like to burn bridges though
 
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