"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Smoking out flakey women...

AmIAFC

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This is what happened today at work:

Girl and I started chatting at work, and she mentions how I'm no longer going to the cafe across the street (popular hangout for my co-workers) for a drink, like I used to back in the day with her (like 2 weeks ago). I give her a BS excuse, when in reality, I've been seeing someone else in the area, and whenever I clock out, I race over to her apartment for some "attention."

This girl then proceeds to ask me if I wanted to have drinks with her after work, and in a classic power-shift move, I reciprocated the offer and offered to take her somewhere else at the end of the work week. She lights up and immediately says "Yes" (no hesitation).

20 minutes later, she comes by, saying she couldn't give me a definitive answer (when, in fact, she did), knowing firsthand from previous experience how much I detest being stood-up. I told her that I appreciated all of that, but I needed a "Yes" or "No" answer from her. She smiles, looks sideways, and said "Ok, I can't go, so no." I respond with an "I knew you would do that" smirk/look on my face, and tell her that's fine.

So, fellow DJs, did I do this right? Should I have said something more about her unsuccessful flake attempt? More importantly, can you help me determine, based on this little event, her interest level?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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spider_007

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most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by spider_007
most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
Right, but she once accused me of being a control freak, and I was wondering if this latest episode possibly amplified that accusation, and by forcing her to give me a straight answer, could I have jeopardized any level of interest she might have in me.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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AmIAFC

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
So I should just give up or next her? Persistence shouldn't be a factor in this equation?
 

Gnr7112

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you've got a woman right now, why do you care so much about this girl? Even after her flaking on you.. You were not a control freak, you were just standing up for your self & she didnt like it.
 

BrotherAP

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If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by BrotherAP
If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
Which particular chapter?
 

DJ4Real

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Learn to be in control without being a control freak.....you want to lead her not make her a demands slave...if you know what I'm saying.


Good Luck:cool:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

DonJuanMonk

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Um, you can't smoke out flakes. What you can do is have a backup plan if you don't get a date.
 

comote

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I would have made a point of telling her how she just broke my heart and will have to make it up to me sometime. The whole time I would have had a smile on my face making her realize I am not the least bit heartbroken and will be just fine without her.

I don't like to burn bridges though
 
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