"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Smoking out flakey women...

AmIAFC

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This is what happened today at work:

Girl and I started chatting at work, and she mentions how I'm no longer going to the cafe across the street (popular hangout for my co-workers) for a drink, like I used to back in the day with her (like 2 weeks ago). I give her a BS excuse, when in reality, I've been seeing someone else in the area, and whenever I clock out, I race over to her apartment for some "attention."

This girl then proceeds to ask me if I wanted to have drinks with her after work, and in a classic power-shift move, I reciprocated the offer and offered to take her somewhere else at the end of the work week. She lights up and immediately says "Yes" (no hesitation).

20 minutes later, she comes by, saying she couldn't give me a definitive answer (when, in fact, she did), knowing firsthand from previous experience how much I detest being stood-up. I told her that I appreciated all of that, but I needed a "Yes" or "No" answer from her. She smiles, looks sideways, and said "Ok, I can't go, so no." I respond with an "I knew you would do that" smirk/look on my face, and tell her that's fine.

So, fellow DJs, did I do this right? Should I have said something more about her unsuccessful flake attempt? More importantly, can you help me determine, based on this little event, her interest level?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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spider_007

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most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by spider_007
most flakes say "yes" and then don't show up. all you did is make her spit it out, instead of letting her hussle you for next 5 days...
Right, but she once accused me of being a control freak, and I was wondering if this latest episode possibly amplified that accusation, and by forcing her to give me a straight answer, could I have jeopardized any level of interest she might have in me.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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AmIAFC

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
And this particular woman is worth so much effort because????...
So I should just give up or next her? Persistence shouldn't be a factor in this equation?
 

Gnr7112

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you've got a woman right now, why do you care so much about this girl? Even after her flaking on you.. You were not a control freak, you were just standing up for your self & she didnt like it.
 

BrotherAP

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If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
 

AmIAFC

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Originally posted by BrotherAP
If you interested in methods that weed out flakes, check out Anti-Dumps machine.
Which particular chapter?
 

DJ4Real

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Learn to be in control without being a control freak.....you want to lead her not make her a demands slave...if you know what I'm saying.


Good Luck:cool:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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DonJuanMonk

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Um, you can't smoke out flakes. What you can do is have a backup plan if you don't get a date.
 

comote

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I would have made a point of telling her how she just broke my heart and will have to make it up to me sometime. The whole time I would have had a smile on my face making her realize I am not the least bit heartbroken and will be just fine without her.

I don't like to burn bridges though
 
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