Smh - Date for Tonight Attempts Power Play, Throws Tantrum

[marmel75]

Is he screening for a wife or does he want to fvck this girl? So he gets token resistance, and "game over"? LOL.

How many girls will roll over and spread their legs with no resistance before you appreciate the token few who require an ounce of game. When I go hunting, I look for "game," not the desperate deer begging to be shot.

Some consider a DJ to be one who filters by high IL only. I consider a DJ who puts his ego aside and fvcks who HE wants to fvck, irrespective of her IL. We could argue that her token resistance repelled him--and yada, disrespect, yada--but this whole facade sounds more like emotional sensitivity and delicateness rather than acting on what he originally sought out to do.

I am starting to have second thoughts about constantly "nexting" chicks at the first wrong thing they do...I am beginning to think guys are losing out on a lot of lays by just ditching chicks that aren't ultra-warm to them off the bat...yeah they might not be extremely interested, but that can all change in one night. Don't act desperate, don't obsess over her, but I don't see anything wrong with a little persistence every so often...women simply don't know what they want very often, and even when they do, rarely does it serve them any purpose.

 

[guru1000]

I am starting to have second thoughts about constantly "nexting" chicks at the first wrong thing they do...I am beginning to think guys are losing out on a lot of lays by just ditching chicks that aren't ultra-warm to them off the bat...yeah they might not be extremely interested, but that can all change in one night. Don't act desperate, don't obsess over her, but I don't see anything wrong with a little persistence every so often...women simply don't know what they want very often, and even when they do, rarely does it serve them any purpose.

DJ wisdom and discernment:

In this thread, a girl sent the OP naked pics, and I recommended that OP NEXT her contrary to the majority opinion, as based on the OP's play-by-play, she was attention seeking, not DTF (and I was right).

Here, I recommended OP to "game," contrary, again, to the majority opinion, as based on the OP's convo, he could have fvcked her IF he gamed her.

The distinction is knowing where there is pliability to "game," and where there is none. But when in doubt, you "game."

 

[CMNILS87]

She was looking for comfort and a provider status male. Put yourself in her shoes and think about what you say in that case. Little empathy goes a long way with most women. Sounds like she was looking for a reason to flake. Besides, all those silly interview questions can be answered in person, she was trying to extort info from you free of charge. I wouldn't have replied at all. If she texts and asks if you're still on for tonight, you know her hamster is spinning and wondering about you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Here, I recommended OP to "game," contrary, again, to the majority opinion, as based on the OP's convo, he could have fvcked her IF he gamed her.

The distinction is knowing where there is pliability to "game," and where there is none. But when in doubt, you "game."

Interested in hearing more about this. I agree men are missing out on a lot of lays by nexting too fast in the beginning, especially with chicks met online.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She sounded *****y to me. Da fuq was her problem anyway?

Piggy backing off guru's point, we have to take it in context. If this was a woman he has been gaming for a few weeks, the approach is different than a chick he just met online. This sounds like a rapport flake, not a low interest flake. Had he answered her question, she still may have flaked... but acting too dismissive in this situation without enough rapport will cause discomfort on her end, and not positive attraction discomfort.

 

[CMNILS87]

Interested in hearing more about this. I agree men are missing out on a lot of lays by nexting too fast in the beginning, especially with chicks met online.

Her: hey
Him: hi
Her: what's goin on
Him: drinking on the job
Her : where do you work?
Him: can you keep a secret? Go NC and ignore
Her: my lips are sealed.

2 hours later.....
Her: we still on for tonight?

That's how I would game in text. ****y fun and then ignore. Pushing continually to the "see you tonight" probably killed attraction and made him sound too eager. Not enough comfort built between the two

 

[Stugots26]

I think a lot of you are missing the point. I politely told her I was busy at work once it was clear that she had nothing important to discuss; and nothing that couldn't wait until she was in person. She refused to respect my time and boundaries, and that turned me off. When she didn't get her way, she sought to punish me out of insecurity. Second turn-off. By that point I really could have gone either way with it.

Other women I'm seeing clearly respect me and my time and wouldn't text "for rapport." Because they're not delusional enough to think that virtual conversations are going to have any affect on live attraction. It's not my job to fix her.

I've got my own career and life to worry about, and like everyone else should be, I'm looking for women who contribute to my life and success rather than combat it out of selfishness and insecurity, which she telegraphed immediately.

 

[guru1000]

This is an online girl, right? How could she respect your time and boundaries? You haven't met her. You haven't fvcked her. At this point, you are simply a virtual identity.

Her need for comfort is not misplaced if you met her online (as opposed to through a mutual friend). Looking for women to add to your life? Looking to know what type of woman you are dealing with?Great! Meet them first. LOL.

Though, if you have 100 woman on your beck and call, then who cares about this one. Right? But you don't, and this was your only date that night.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ding Ding Ding!
This is what I've been saying since I started here.

You still gotta back them down on your "list" according to disrespects, put the ball in their court and wait.

 

[Yewki]

I don't understand the people saying he shouldn't have nexted her so soon

1) She umm.. nexted herself lol
2) OP doesn't even seem interested in f*cking her anymore. I wouldn't be either

 

[guru1000]

Yewki, if she would have agreed to the meet, he would have went. She canceled the meet, thus she NEXTed him.

When the ego is damaged and the date canceled not by your own volition, it's easy to say you are no longer interested. The facts show he wanted to fvck her but didn't--not by his choice.

In some instances, there is no pliability to game. Here there was.

This thread is a tutorial not to bifurcate women into two categories: interested and not interested. There are degrees of interest. Some women need to be gamed by varying degrees; some don't. A DJ cares not about her IL, but rather only his own desire to fcvk. This is why we label it as "game," and not "filtering for high IL."

 

[MrWiggles]

I didnt really see so much disrespect on her part. girls love to text for whatever reason and if you didnt have time to text you need not respond right away. It didnt sound like you were busy it just sounded like you were a **** so she didnt want to go out anymore

 

[Yewki]

Yewki, if she would have agreed to the meet, he would have went. She canceled the meet, thus she NEXTed him.

When the ego is damaged and the date canceled not by your own volition, it's easy to say you are no longer interested. The facts show he wanted to fvck her but didn't--not by his choice.

In some instances, there is no pliability to game. Here there was.

This thread is a tutorial not to bifurcate women into two categories: interested and not interested. There are degrees of interest. Some women need to be gamed by varying degrees; some don't. A DJ cares not about her IL, but rather only his own desire to fcvk. This is why we label it as "game," and not "filtering for high IL."

This is all written from the perspective that the OP lost because he didn't go on the date. She took her ball and went home, and now the OP lost. Is that right? As if she is the prize.

A guy's end goal should not be to have sex no matter what. And in reality, the OP may have actually come out ahead on this one. If a girl is acting up, she can f*ck off. OP clearly told her he was busy and would see her that night, but she still demanded answers immediately. She had agreed to the date the week before, yet she needed answers right then there? To me it was pretty clear she was filtering out who she was going to flake on that night. But either way she was being unreasonable.

 

[guru1000]

He did lose. He sought out to fvck her, BUT he didn't.

Now if he was off-put by her "Where do for work," comment, he could have told her to get lost. But he didn't.

 

[guru1000]

A true DJ doesn't need/seek sex to validate himself.

Correct. But a DJ who wants sex with a girl need not pretend he doesn't want to, to validate himself.

 

[MrWiggles]

only he knows if he truly Nexted her because he felt disrespected or only after she Nexted him.

 

[guru1000]

Let's assume for a minute OP was sensitive to disrespect (although how could she disrespect him when she doesn't know him nor has she met him). Here are the two points, where OP could have ejected from the date:

Context:

Her: Hey
Me: Hi, what's up?
Her: How's it goin
Me: Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight.

Her: Where do you work

<< Eject

Me: See you at 8
Her: I just asked you a question

<< Eject

He continues:

Me: I appreciate that, but can't chat right now. Ask me tonight. Looking forward to it.

He's still game! Followed by:

Her: I have to cancel but good luck to you!

Gents, stop being such sensitive flowers. Go for the bang--or--if the girl's communications don't sit well with you, send her to hell. But, don't pretend you don't tolerate alleged poor behavior, and then tolerate it. LOL.

 

[Stugots26]

But a DJ who wants sex with a girl need not pretend he doesn't want to, to validate himself.

Uh, guru, I was up for a drink with her in order to determine whether I wanted to move further.

But, don't pretend you don't tolerate alleged poor behavior, and then tolerate it. LOL.

Agree to disagree. I maintain I didn't tolerate by not capitulating.

 

[Yewki]

He did lose. He sought out to fvck her, BUT he didn't.

Now if he was off-put by her "Where do for work," comment, he could have told her to get lost. But he didn't.

OP is free to change his mind. When she acted like an unreasonable brat and canceled I'm guessing he indeed lost interest in her. You can claim it's an ego defense, and maybe in the case of the OP it was who knows for sure, but when you don't have outcome dependence it's called just having dignity.

 

[guru1000]

To me, a true DJ knows he has nothing to prove, to anyone. He doesn't need to get the last word in, be the one to walk away, or fvck a girl, in order to feel powerful or to prove anything to anyone.

Correct. The key words are underlined. In order to be true to his desire, not slave to his hurt ego. It's a question of what did OP desire. Reference Post 43.