"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Smart People Have Less Friends

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,787
Reaction score
10,009
I saw this video, I thought it was interesting. To briefly summarize, it says that dumb people tend to be happier around other people, and that smart people tend to be happier when they are alone. It talks about how geniuses like Newton and Tesla tend to have few friends.

It does make sense when you think of it. Smart people might be more focused on their mission and their interests than spending time with other people. They also might have less in common with most folk, because there are more dumb people than smart.

 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
Interesting video. I always respected Tesla, but he was more peculiar than I realized.

Apparently, I'm not at "genius" level. In my youth, I couldn't wait to lose my virginity. I also use facebook.
Interesting enough though, it seems that my friends that are "friend collectors" on social media do seem to be the least intellectually enlightened.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,329
Reaction score
6,875
It's not smart people have lesser friends, it's nerds who has lesser friends because they don't hv normal EQ like other people.

But if it makes you nerds happier, feel free to think that way.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,405
Reaction score
306
I wish someone would have told my mom this back in high school!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
1,330
Location
random
this is probably a truth.

my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.

separate smart vs wise. wise usually have many friends or contacts, scientists or engineers maybe not so many. a wise person will try to frame the situation to advantage, a smart person will try to understand and adjust the situation to advantage.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,582
Reaction score
11,942
Location
DFW, TX
this is probably a truth.

my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.

separate smart vs wise. wise usually have many friends or contacts, scientists or engineers maybe not so many. a wise person will try to frame the situation to advantage, a smart person will try to understand and adjust the situation to advantage.
Less "smart" people try to "sound more important" much more often.

So when your content has value does it make sense to argue or discuss with someone who doesn't value it?
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
1,330
Location
random
Less "smart" people try to "sound more important" much more often.

So when your content has value does it make sense to argue or discuss with someone who doesn't value it?
agree on the first thing. I think it leads up to trying to be wise.

sometimes for the second one, but only enough to make sure I get it; if there is time. many are busy with there response instead of trying to understand. I am not immune to that either. I enjoy learning, as silly as that sounds.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,582
Reaction score
11,942
Location
DFW, TX
agree on the first thing. I think it leads up to trying to be wise.

sometimes for the second one, but only enough to make sure I get it; if there is time. many are busy with there response instead of trying to understand. I am not immune to that either. I enjoy learning, as silly as that sounds.
Id rather listen than discuss my "thing" with people.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,787
Reaction score
10,009
my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.
I think it's more that smart people are more interested in ideas than people.
We use the word "smart", but maybe it's more that some people are smarter in more social ways, as opposed to the kind of smarts measured by IQ. It may have more to do with personality types, where high IQ people's brains are more geared toward creativity, reasoning, and logic.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
I think it's more that smart people are more interested in ideas than people.
We use the word "smart", but maybe it's more that some people are smarter in more social ways, as opposed to the kind of smarts measured by IQ. It may have more to do with personality types, where high IQ people's brains are more geared toward creativity, reasoning, and logic.
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,582
Reaction score
11,942
Location
DFW, TX
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
Some folks hedge being right by repeating exactly what was said in the book. But will not share independent thought because it can be easily attacked.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
Followup (hitting closer to the bone)

When reading a lot of advice given on this forum, I see a lot of "smart" members. In other words, it would appear that they've read a lot of pickup material and through memorization, will provide 'advice' that they've previously read to be gospel.

In many cases, the original post-person has mentioned outside variables. Many of those that responded, didn't actually look at the entire picture (or realized that they lacked a response for those variables) . Instead, they simply typed what they've memorized from previous reading material.

I feel rather confident in saying that many members here do not draw from their personal experiences or personal perspectives. Instead of applying introspection and actually learning from previous experiences... it's like they've studded hard for a test (reading pick up material hours upon hours) and are virtually raising their hand in class because they "know the answer."
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
Some folks hedge being right by repeating exactly what was said in the book. But will not share independent thought because it can be easily attacked.
I disagree. People that have a genuine eagerness to learn new thought aren't afraid of being wrong or "attacked." It's quite the contrary. They are actually grateful for learning a new individual personal perspectives. In other words, ego takes a back seat to the intellect searching for new perspectives.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,582
Reaction score
11,942
Location
DFW, TX
I disagree. People that have a genuine eagerness to learn new thought aren't afraid of being wrong or "attacked." It's quite the contrary. They are actually grateful for learning a new perspective. In other words, ego takes a back seat to the intellect searching for new perspectives.
I was explaining why some
People do that. I know
A few. They are a bit more political and they actually do have independent thought. They simply won't share an unpopular position.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,582
Reaction score
11,942
Location
DFW, TX
I was explaining why some
People do that. I know
A few. They are a bit more political and they actually do have independent thought. They simply won't share an unpopular position.
Even if that position is right.
 

Epicenter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
1,003
Reaction score
376
Age
56
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
I think both have their places. We specialize in different fields in life. It is good that not everybody is busy with philosophical questions.

Some people are good with philosophical topics some with practical topics. Both are intelligent. I think it's good to accept this.

The problem in both cases is that intelligent peope want to be more intelligent and lose contact to normal people. That is the nature of the beast I guess and we have to live with that but it's good for society.

An intelligent person has additionally the chance to do basic stuff to mix things up so he is more well-rounded. So this might help for his happiness.
 

Epicenter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
1,003
Reaction score
376
Age
56
If you want to be more intelligent go in an environment where people are more intelligent than you.

If you want to be more happy go into an environment where people have lower status it has been said
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Top