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Smart People Have Less Friends

mrgoodstuff

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That happens when we took the red pill and start to understand reality.

It's good to relate with people... But I prefer being alone than being around false, envy and ignorant people.

Genuine friendships can give us a really good sense of purpose. And that kind of friendship helps us to grow up. But this is really difficult to find.

Better off focus on what is really important than spending our time with people that wanna get something from us.

#RECENTE CASE:

Have a childhood friend that stopped talking to me for about 2 years. Now he is working on that Prudential company selling life insurances...

Ok, he started to call me back, saying that he wanna visit me and show me his job, without any commitment (okay man haha). I know for sure he don't wanna come here to visit me. This is obvious, but he thinks I'm a fool.

My desire was to block this guy and never talk to him again... But you know, pretend to be a fool give me an advantage. Enemies don't know that you know their strategies.
False, envy, egotistical, deceit are the "pills" they chose to get what they desire out of life.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I recently saw a video that was saying smart people suck at small talk and also they don't have many friends. I can't find the video though. I was talking to a girl from Finland two days ago and she was telling me that over there everyone sucks at small talk and that Americans are great at it (but not me lol).
Aren't the Finnish all cvcked?
 

Epicenter

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I recently saw a video that was saying smart people suck at small talk and also they don't have many friends. I can't find the video though. I was talking to a girl from Finland two days ago and she was telling me that over there everyone sucks at small talk and that Americans are great at it (but not me lol).
That is why in Europe Americans are not seen as intelligent. They are in general much worse then Europeans when it comes to history and education. When it comes to small talk Americans are very good. People have different priorities.
 

Snowfoxx

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That is why in Europe Americans are not seen as intelligent. They are in general much worse then Europeans when it comes to history and education. When it comes to small talk Americans are very good. People have different priorities.
I was telling her how I try to understand their side of the world and she was excited to hear that and said most Americans don't know **** about Europe which is true haha. I also had a friend from England, well a bit more, but, she knew things about US history I didn't know but also I wasn't taught it in school and she was. Idk what to say about that one.
 

sosousage

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I recently saw a video that was saying smart people suck at small talk and also they don't have many friends. I can't find the video though. I was talking to a girl from Finland two days ago and she was telling me that over there everyone sucks at small talk and that Americans are great at it (but not me lol).
you cant be a programmer and have many friends
 

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Who Dares Win

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I believe we have to differentiate between intellectual skills like logics, creativity or wisdom and social skills like being able to make small talk, read body language and so on.

People that have fewer friends according to mainstream culture and media happen to be "shy or goofy or insecure", this is ridicolous since as many posters already said lot of people is more interested in ideas and productivity rather than socialization or simply dont get from socializing the same pleasure they get in being productive or obtain something wheter is a salary or a medal.

Personally I have few friends and they are mostly people I share a common goal with, I dont random people as friends without sharing anything with them for the sake of having friends, also Im an introvert which doesnt mean "shy", it means I rest and work easier when alone cause social interactions demand my attention.

I could open to random people in the streets and easily have small talks, most of my sex life has been fvck buddies and one night stands with girls I picked up with no social circle help...yet I feel no need to deal with big groups or go out during holydays or friday night.

Also lot of people especially men find dealing with emotional people frustrating which makes it dealing with most women a necessary hassle only to get laid, let alone being forced to hit parties or places packed of people as women want.

The death of this society is rewarding uncapable workers with great social skills while penalizing productive hard workers who just want to work and stay by themselves with no social networks or popularity contests involved.
 

Mike32ct

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The death of this society is rewarding uncapable workers with great social skills while penalizing productive hard workers who just want to work and stay by themselves with no social networks or popularity contests involved.
When I started my previous job in early 2000s, this older lady gave this advice, "Keep a low profile during your probationary/initial review period." I didn't quite understand what she meant at that time, but it was good advice. That's my style anyway. Nobody will fire/sack the quiet guy who gets his work done.

However, getting to your point, in today's world, sadly, they probably aren't going to PROMOTE the quiet guy who gets his work done. They will question his "leadership/communications/social skills."
 

samspade

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When I started my previous job in early 2000s, this older lady gave this advice, "Keep a low profile during your probationary/initial review period." I didn't quite understand what she meant at that time, but it was good advice. That's my style anyway. Nobody will fire/sack the quiet guy who gets his work done.

However, getting to your point, in today's world, sadly, they probably aren't going to PROMOTE the quiet guy who gets his work done. They will question his "leadership/communications/social skills."
It's good to put your head down and do the work, but you also have to self-promote from time to time. Make sure you get the credit you deserve. But without sounding like an a$$.
 

zekko

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When I started my previous job in early 2000s, this older lady gave this advice, "Keep a low profile during your probationary/initial review period." I didn't quite understand what she meant at that time, but it was good advice. That's my style anyway. Nobody will fire/sack the quiet guy who gets his work done.
The danger in being too boisterous early on is that with anybody's personality, they are likely to rub somebody the wrong way. They could be great people, but there might be some element in their personality that will raise some hackles of some higher up. This is less likely to be damaging if they get to know you better first.
 

Mike32ct

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The danger in being too boisterous early on is that with anybody's personality, they are likely to rub somebody the wrong way. They could be great people, but there might be some element in their personality that will raise some hackles of some higher up. This is less likely to be damaging if they get to know you better first.
Precisely. We had a very outspoken know-it-all guy start last year. He didn’t last three months.
 

3agle 3yes

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This may have already been said, but people who tend towards the introversion continuum, tend to be smarter (or rather more logical and intelligent) because we are predisposed to analytical and calculated thinking. Whilst speaking without thinking, lack of self criticism and lack of internal contemplation is associated with extroversion.

Those who tend towards the extroversion continuum are more emotional and perhaps have a better chance at obtaining emotional intelligence? And may be better at influencing people, with traits like charm and charisma.

And yes, I do believe introversion and extroversion are two sides of a continuum rather than binary traits.
 
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3agle 3yes

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Don't look at me, I didn't write this PUA stuff. They're the ones who are always saying being nice is such a terrible thing.
I've always thought you should treat others like you want to be treated, not to get them to like you, but just out of baseline respect. As fellow members of the human race.
I’ve never read or listened to most Pua material. But from my experience, attractive women are used to men treating them nicely because those men want something from them and they also have nothing else to offer. Because these men are so common, they would just assume you’re one of them until proven otherwise. Also, attractive women tend to have an ego and need a put down...of course the ego is just a social mask, they’re just as insecure as anyone else, if not more.

The put downs are done in a humorous vibe which means you aren’t serious, however you’re communicating to her in a deeper unconscious level that you don’t care what she thinks and won’t put up with her sh!t just because she’s pretty. Notice we’re not necessarily “nice” with our friends (well I’m not anyway), I’m comfortable enough with them to play pranks that can be deemed offensive and will tell them the truth even if it’s painful, that’s what friends of these types of women do too.

Attraction works in a different realm to the relationship you would have with a friend. We don’t perform sexual acts with our friends. Women aren’t looking for “nice apologists” when they get down and dirty.

As I’m sure you already know, there is a difference between being respective and going out of your way to be nice.
 
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stormrider

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This is true in a sense. But also not true in another sense.

It is a dichotomy.

Smart people know high quality people - people who are gatekeepers and have access in society.

They don't waste their time with low quality people.

There are LESS high quality people than low quality people.

Therefore, smart people have LESS real friends than the average person. But the friends they have are very powerful and influential. Knowing them is a form of power in and of itself.

Smart people may be ACQUAINTANCES to many people. This is more true if you are in the business of selling a product. You need to be known to the masses. But they are not your friends.

Smart people are known to the masses (for business and power purposes) but keep a smaller circle of real friends (because high quality people are more rare).

So in a sense, a smart person can appear to be a socialite for power purposes. But they can also appear to be exclusive in the sense that they won't waste their time with you if you don't provide any value.

So they can appear popular yet rare at the same time. They can appear social yet seclusive at the same time.
 

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speed dawg

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It's not about who is smart and who is dumb. Those people you list just happen to be introverted, smart people. That's it. Introverted people have less friends, but often stronger friendships. I read lately that 25% of the world is introverted, so fair to say we live in an extroverted world.

Remember, most people are sheep, regardless of where they pull their energy (which is the definition of extro or intro verted). I'd say it's probably easier for extroverts to engage in sheepish behavior, but many times introverts suffer from poor self esteem. So we've all got problems to overcome.
 

Who Dares Win

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I don't have a good handle on what "emotional intelligence" is. Will have to read about that.
Think of that set of skills and abilities to understand everything related to people wheter its a social interaction with a single person or a group as much as understanding the dynamics within a group of people.

Its about their feelings, their ego and the capacity to imagine their inner situations beside what is apparent its a nearby field to social skills.
Just like you need a good IQ to be an engineer, you need a high EQ to have great social skills.

A high IQ allows you to understand and manipulate facts, data, tools and technical knowledge while a high EQ allows you to see how people fit in an environment and different situations, yourself included and read inside them.

In my opinion just like IQ there is a part that depends on your dna and upbringing while a further part depends on your efforts to improve it or at least make a better use of what you have.
 
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I saw this video, I thought it was interesting. To briefly summarize, it says that dumb people tend to be happier around other people, and that smart people tend to be happier when they are alone. It talks about how geniuses like Newton and Tesla tend to have few friends.

It does make sense when you think of it. Smart people might be more focused on their mission and their interests than spending time with other people. They also might have less in common with most folk, because there are more dumb people than smart.

This entirely misses the point.

some people certainly are so analysis dominant that they genuinely struggle with social skills. But just cuz a person is bad at a skillset now doesnt mean they cant be great later with practice.

So this false dichotomy of smart+bad socially vs. dumb +good socially is just frankly ****king dumb.

you can be smart + socially intelligent and frankly should be. hyperspecializing on logic at the behest of society in such a way that you fail in other areas is like painting in only black and white when you have dozens of other colours and tools to paint with.

Now I get that some people for various reasons may CHOOSE to be 99% logical skills : 1% social skills. Maybe thats a good stratgy for a pure mathematician or logician or physicist. But are you one of those types of people?

I used to focus way more on logic and still to some extent do but Im by no means 99%logic:1%social. Im probably 60/40 logic/social skills and Im way more fulfilled now than then.

Cheers
 
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