Small School=Little Opportunities

[Homerdough]

I go to a high school with 400 students and there aren't a lot of worthwhile girls to go for. There's this one girl that i really like but i've never gone for it, mostly cuz i'm a pansy but also because she's a great friend of mine. I flirt with her when we hang out and even though i never explicitly told her i like her, im pretty sure she knows.

Anyway, because there are pretty much no other girls to go for, i feel like im emanating a sense of desperation for her, which is obviously a turnoff. I'm not needy, or at least look like it, when with her, like i dont ask to hang out often or text her everyday, but i'd feel like if i could get her jealous, it'd be easier to get with her (or any other tips you guys can give me; im open minded as hell)

Simply put, where can i go to find other girls? Ask friends to hook me up? Find one in a coffee shop, subway etc.? Or do i just say fudge it and ask for a one on one hangout and go for it then?

 

[LearningSlowly]

I go to a 400 person high school as well. Very few social opportunities if you don't establish yourself as cool early on. People are very resistant to you changing. All attempts to establish yourself as cool later become needy. Needy kills social interaction.

I will say this. Your game probably sucks. If you aren't popular, and haven't experienced a big change in your life, there is a reason that you aren't popular. You're going to have to create a change in your life outside of school.

Join clubs and teams outside of school, and make an active effort to be social and friendly to EVERYONE (especially the hot people). Once you've made serious progress in your social ability, you will slowly begin to see it reflected in your school life. Classmates who already have one opinion of you are very unlikely to change it, expect to feel unappreciated for a long time, until they gradually see that you're cool (the new facebook pictures of you with hot out-of-school girls will help with this).

Don't mix the out-of-school group and the in-school group, or if you do, do it sparingly and cautiously. I don't do it often, or didn't before I developed social skill, and I don't know how it would work out, to try to fit into those two roles simultaneously.

 

[Homerdough]

Damn dude. Never said I wasn't popular. I've got a solid social circle, but just not many girls in it simply.

So extracurriculars are the way to go. Any specific ones that girls tend to flock to? Or should I just go for something i enjoy?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Check my sig.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Damn dude. Never said I wasn't popular. I've got a solid social circle, but just not many girls in it simply.

Sorry if I offended you (everyone is easily offended around here. I definitely was at the beginning of my journal) but yeah, girls=popularity for me. Better guys come too, as you become better socially, but any guy can have guy friends. Real popular people have girls around.

Do whatever you're interested in. Don't choose something that other people are very good at already, if you're trying to join a soccer team and you suck at soccer, it will be hard to be important in the group. There are many youth groups that require no prerequisite skill, but if you're good at something, a sport or activity, join a club for it. Make sure that it's co-ed, many sports teams only have one gender.

 

[Homerdough]

I'd join basketball but there arent many co-ed basketball teams out there, even in New York. I was thinking more like an improv class or self defense class etc. Anything relatively cheap would help out and I assume a job would help a lot too, depending on what job it is

 

[DanZy]

Join basketball because you want to have fun, not to meet girls. You'll make new friends and they'll invite you out.
Honestly dude you live in New York, stop ****ing complaining; you realize how many people there are? I don't have a single girl at my school, I do awesomely well after school though and on weekends. You're limiting yourself here

 

[LearningSlowly]

Whatever you do, get out there and do it. Start doing google searches NOW, write down 10 options by tomorrow, then narrow it down to 3 by the next day, then call and investigate those options (cost, whether you can have a trial period, general logistics) then choose one and be registered for it before the end of the week.