I got the slow fade over the past month from one of the girls I was seeing and looking back I still can’t nail down when it began. I know she started it a month ago but she was really good at it, she drug that **** out for a whole month and while I was seeing other women I still couldn’t help but wonder why I was being slow faded. Usually guys do this and this is the first time I’ve ever had a girl do it to me. I kinda called her out on it and of course she denied it said I was acting extreme. I know I shouldn’t have but she kept contacting me sporadically and oneday I was like “look I know you’re slow fading me so if you don’t want to see me anymore just say so and we can both go out separate ways and be done with it”. That’s what she called me “acting extreme” but in my defense I thought it might curb the behavior on her part. Nope. My question has any of you guys ever experienced the slow fade from women? Like I said it’s usually a guy thing and you never hear women doing it.
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Slow fade
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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Girls do it for the same reason guys do it. It's called low interest.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
90% are doing the "win" thing, especially in single land. They do it in marriage and relationships too.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Make an example. Mines would be like how they trash your affairs and burn your bridges. Was under the guise of winning.
oldmanofthesea
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She can only slow fade you if you let her. If you get the sense you're being faded, you fade her, only you do it harder. I would never bring it up. You can't negotiate it with her through rational discussion; only through action. Nor would you want to.... Why give her the satisfaction of knowing it's bothering you, further cementing her opinion of your value making it that much easier for her, plus giving her that validation hit she doesn't deserve.
backseatjuan
Banned
Slow fade? Maybe you mean pull back? Every woman will pull back after meeting you. Just skip a week of dating, she'll come back after her little pull back.
No no this is a slow fade after 7 months of regular sex. It can’t be because she wants a relationship and was tired of waiting on me because she brought up just a month ago how she still didn’t want to be in a relationship and how she was cool with us doing what we were doing. This started a month ago and it took me a week to notice but she wasn’t taking forever to respond to texts and was still reaching out some but not as enthusiastic as I’d become used to. She blamed it on being mad at me for something I said, but even after we got it straight she still continued the slow fade. We only hooked up twice last month, that’s very off because we hooked up every week just about for 7 months.
No I didn’t ever send that, I was just giving an example. I knew better than that. She said I go from one extreme to the other which brought on our argument over something i said. I got mad because she didn’t come right out and tell me, she waited a couple weeks. I mean damn I’m not a mind reader, if you’re mad tell me why.
No I have never called her out on her slow fade I just got mad that she was mad and had the nerve to keep it from me why she was mad. I hate that passive aggressive stuff!
BeExcellent
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From the ladies locker room a bit of perspective. For seven months OP has been sexing this chick. There is an interaction there that isn’t merely a hook up. In other words OP won’t grant her girlfriend status after this much time, he’s keeping it casual NSA or FWB or whatever. He’s not given us that info but I’d bet money that is the deal.
So she isn’t getting what she wants out of the interaction and she’s fading as she explores other options. And that’s reasonable frankly.
Why this is surprising I’m not sure. Looks kinda obvious to me.
So she isn’t getting what she wants out of the interaction and she’s fading as she explores other options. And that’s reasonable frankly.
Why this is surprising I’m not sure. Looks kinda obvious to me.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Dip into the available puzzy. Never try to convince them of shyt.
Poonani Maker
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I've had this happen twice this year (Summer), both around the same age, a Millennial thing? move behaving like guys? gender roles
backseatjuan
Banned
She is not sure in the power of her v*gina anymore, ghost, let her do all contacting. They expecting relationship just in 7 months perioud, that's retarded. If she ever contacts you and tells you sht, fire back, tell her, after 7 months you started fading back and probably dating other people, you're a bad relationship material, bye.
I've had them slow fade or flat out ghost me only to pop up out of nowhere a few months, or even years later, wanting to get together. Its part of the natural evolution of how casual relationships seem to work these days. It might annoy me but I never give them a hard time about it because neither of us were ever invested enough in each other for it to really matter.
So here’s an update, this whole slow fade thing was due to me not texting her first and she claims she got tired of always texting me first. Or so that’s the reason she gave which is probably a lie anyways. I’m starting to realize this girl never accepts blame for anything and is emotionally immature to be in her 30’s.
I never apologized for it because I knew it was a made up reason because I text her the same amount I always have. I didn’t ask or beg her why she wasn’t talking to me as much, she brought it up all on her own. Well, she claims she’s mentioned it several times before but I don’t remember. It wasn’t like we were in a relationship anyways so who texts who more doesn’t really matter.
This is all true but I mean to be honest this girl and I were never going to be anything more than we are. I’m sort of in between the just friends and in a relationship with her, she’s just the type that likes to complain.....about anything. The smallest thing she will turn into something big. She contradicts herself because she’s mentioned how when guys text her a lot she pulls away but yet I did the polar opposite and she pulled away anyways.
Well we’d been having sex regularly before all this came up, but we aren’t dating or in a relationship. It just seemed like a weird reason to pull a slow fade because I hadn’t changed my texting frequency behavior at all, I figured it was just an excuse and something else was the deeper cause like she’d lost attraction over some other reason. I honestly thought she was slow fading me for another reason I never figured it was over something so small as texting that could have been easily solved by saying something.
No I agree I am living in her frame somehow but I don’t know why or how I got to this point. She’s not the only girl I’ve been seeing but I guess you could say she was my favorite and the one I enjoyed being around the most, which probably led to this point of me being in her frame. I dunno what my next step should be, I guess end it but since she seems to have low interest I doubt she will care.
