Slap me?

[loving]

Sorry, this isnt a kinky field report, though I hope after this post one will come very soon.

I'm going to keep it short and to the point, here are some things I've noticed and would like help with. Especiallly the last one.

-When I see a beautiful girl, I instantly start imaging us in future situations together (i.e. her meeting my parents, what I'd say to her and what she'd say back)

-If I have interacted or not with a beautiful girl I see, I will replay the time we spent in the same area in my mind over and over with different perspectives (i.e. I did this wrong/should have done this, or i did this right, then after playing the right thing in my mind over and over it turns to a bad thing)

-I'm a tool, and don't know why. I don't talk to enough girls to know if I'm actually being tooled, but I say this because all the time I'm guaging (in my head) what I want to do/will do/have done with a girl's potential interpretation of that action.

-I've already gone up to and failed with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I don't know how or why I went up to her, the feelings were just too powerful. Anyway, I wasn't able to get any sort of relationship with her, but I did get her # and email. Despite this, I am still afraid of talking to new women. HOW?! Afraid of what?! I don't understand, this is a logical conundrum. If there is anything in this post I want help with, it is this. It does not make sense.

Thank you

 

[Social Calibration]

Vince Vaughn in "Swingers" described this best:

"You're a big bad bear with FANGS and CLAWS and she's just a cute little bunny cowering in the corner. And your looking at your FANGS and CLAWS and you're thinking to yourself, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny?"

No one limits you but yourself. When you're afraid to talk to new beautiful women, it's your choice and no one else. You need to remember women are like men, we're HUMANS. Think to yourself, what's the worst that could happen? She'll say no? She won't respond? She'll look at you funny? Keep in mind that YOU ARE the prize, not her. That way, you won't look at a women as if she's on such a high pedestal.

But if you, in fact, keep thinking that she's the prize, eventually you'll believe it, and you'll automatically put her in the driver's seat without even realizing it.

Women want a man that can lead, and not be emotionally/logically blinded by her good looks. Put her looks aside, and most of all, have fun with every encounter that you have. Make it common practice to throw in little jokes here and there whenever you see an attractive employee when you're about to purchase something, etc. Eventually approaching and talking to gorgeous women will be second nature to you.

 

[loving]

I agree looks are a huge part of what influences me, and probably what makes her such a big deal to me, though I am not sure.

I am also scared that once she has one impression of me there is nothing I can do to change it.

I think at the very least it is helpful to write down these limiting beliefs.

 

[Igetit!]

I agree looks are a huge part of what influences me, and probably what makes her such a big deal to me, though I am not sure.

This is normal Loving. It's normal to be somewhat intimidated by an attractive woman. Maybe it shouldn't be,but it is. You do need to get this under control,though. Once a woman sees or senses that her appearance alone can shake a man's confidence/self-esteem,it's ALL over. Women are attracted to superior men,and if she can shake your confidence,then you're inferior.

I am also scared that once she has one impression of me there is nothing I can do to change it.

To some extent,this is true. This can either work in your favor,or against it. If you make a negative first impression,then she'll probably for as long as she knows you,see you through that impression. However,if you make a positive first impression,then for as long as she knows you,she'll see you through this light.....as long as you don't do something drastically to change her perception.
Unless I'm mistaken,you're only what...17 or 18 years old? So that means you started puberty like only 3 or 4 years ago. Don't be ashamed that you don't have this stuff figured out yet. Just the fact that you're a part of this forum puts you ahead of a lot of guys twice your age..that is,if you apply the things you've learned here to your life.

Imo,you don't need to be slapped.....not yet anyway.

 

[SharinganUser]

I agree looks are a huge part of what influences me, and probably what makes her such a big deal to me, though I am not sure.

I am also scared that once she has one impression of me there is nothing I can do to change it.

I think at the very least it is helpful to write down these limiting beliefs.

Man, you need to turn that brain of yours right off. You need to start approaching people until it becomes a habit and you don't even realize you are doing it anymore. No one (except on here) believes me when I say all that you have to do to approach is smile, make eye contact and say hello.

Anyone worth talking to will either respond by doing the exact same to you, or they'll be suprised and look away momentarily and say hello back to you. Either way, its basically the same result. If someone ignores you, then they either didn't hear you and you should move on, OR they are a ***** and you should definitely move on. Nothing bad will happen to you.

Just ignore what your brain says and start listening toyour gut. Even if you get turned down it is 100x better to know you got rejected than it is to wonder how far you could've gone.