Situation

[wudiez]

My dilemma!

There's this chic, i've liked for some time, i've never told her how i felt.
But The first time i saw her, we got physical, and seemed like we were together...
but then when were just online, talking to each other, she acts as if were just friends and nothing else, she doesnt talk much, she offlines alot, she says random silly things.

But then the second time we saw each other, she seems more than happy to come and talk to me, hug me, get physical. And hold my hand

What's going on here? Is she stringing me on!
I hate being in this ****ty position, of not knowing whether or not, were in a relatinoship, or she just wants to be good friends.

I'm so close, to letting it all out, and telling her how i feel, and asking her what she wants! Cause I'm sick of this ****!!! Does anyone feel me???

But i know, its supposibly the wussy thing to do, And your giving her the power. BUt you know I want to clear this thing up a.s.a.p

Is the guy suppose to risk rejection in this circumstance.. Or shoudl i wait.. till she gives in, I'm getting much different advice from people.. ??

Insight please...

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

before taking anyone's advice..read this article:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16926

 

[wudiez]

AHahhaa Man! i read that article.. a long time ago... ahahah.. helped for like 2 weeks.. then stopped.. Oh well.. besides.. man.. there's no way.. I'm desperate.. lol...

Just feels damn ****ty being in the situation.. You feel?

Cheers

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

yea...its good re-reading old articles...sometimes we feel we have things in control and understand our actions..but every now and then we need to be reminded..

worrying about this girl sounds kinda AFC to me. she should be the one worrying if she can be with you. i've found that the best thing to do in this situation is not push it...

if her IL was extremely high for you, I see no reason that she hasnt already gone over to your house and made it clear that she is exclusive with you...

sounds like she may have moderate IL or someone else in her mind that is causing her to not act fast with you...

take a breath, chill, and dont lose the control..enjoy being with her, but, you can enjoy going out with other women too...she should be happy that your give HER any attention..

 

[wudiez]

hey thanks for that.. sounds kinda good... the thing is.. i do see heaps of other woman.. and i have other chics that like me too.. But you know.. you get to that time of life, where you've had too many damn flings with too many different chics, you jsut want to settle down..
and have a good relatinoship..

But yer, as you were saying, do you mean, just be even more patient.. like how i am, dont lose control and wait for her to be the first to tell me how she feels??

Feels like she been strining me on along time.. and yer, sounds like she got moderate IL and is confused.. and she makes me feel like i should be the one doing something and saying how i feel...

It sucks when chics do that yer??

You know i been in this situation way too damn much! For once i dont want to end up the same way again! Which is never talking to the chic, and she outta my life...

Or gives me a bad rep or something...

 

[wudiez]

hey guys.. i havent told her how i feel yet! And she hanst said.. nutta.. either...

SO what do you reckon.. ?? Just keep quiet.. be myself.. do other stuff.. and see if seh cracks.. one day.. or clear things up now???

Advice please..

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I feel you bro.

We also have to remember that the DJB isnt the be all and end all. These 'rules' aren't to be followed like a Martha Stewart recipe to bake cake. The DJB is a guideline...we all take our own path.

With that said, there are many times that I've broken the DJ rules and acted on things that are AFC. Not all women are cold hearted and out to rip our n*ts out. I think that you can guage the situation. I've had many opportunities where I didnt want to lose the 'control' and was hardcore DJ. By doing this, I've lost a lot of opportunities for very good LTRs with some really great women. And great not just meaning beauty, but, great meaning that they could be future mother of my kids great.

If you are going to let her know, let her know rather non-chelontlly. Let her know you think there is chemistry between you guys, but, you are dating other women...ask her how she feels about that and where she sees you guys going.

By using this statement..letting her know there is "chemistry"...it shows that you recognize the mutual attraction without sounding sappy (i really like you...i really want to be your bf..blah blah..)

And letting her know that there are other women shows her that you have options as well and that if she wants you, she better get with the program before some other girl snatches you up.

 

[wudiez]

awesome! Sounds great.. non - chelantly.. easy to think.. but hard to put out man..

I've had real bad experiences of being sappy... and yer, i think i'm a long way from that smooth, guy, who can just be all cool about these things...

Like.. as soon you said that.. I'd pretty much use what you said word for word..

e.g. look chiccy.. I think we have some chemistry.. how do you feel about it..

and so on...
In these situations.. i kinda lose my cool, go afc and let my emotions take over and say stuff i regret.. I mean, sure you can memorize the djb stuff for ages weeks, months but when you get to the situation your emotions can just take over..

its hard guys... but i mean, if anyone else has experienced other wise and dj'd all teh way.. love to hear from ya's..

 

[NaturallySelected]

How do you mean "get physical" are we talking kino her, kissing or fvcking? If it's just kinioing, then next time you see her kiss her. If it's kissing, then what the hell's your problem? Why do you need to know if you're a relationship?

Just go with the flow and enjoy yourself. If you want her to tell you you're in a relationship it's only because you're worried it's all suddenly going to come to an end. If she told you "hey wudiez, I am your girlfriend now" it doesn't mean she'll never leave you and this thing you two have will never end.

Seriously man, it sounds like you're young. When I was 16 I had a similar thing, and I fvked it up because I asked her for a "relationship" her interest went fron 80% to 10%. Just enjoy it while it lasts mate, stop worrying. And if you haven't kissed her yet then fvcking do it! Don't ask her first! Just do it! What's it with people trying to asking for "relationships"? It's insecure and similar to propsing too soon because you want to "entrap" <cough> I mean keep her.

NaturallySelected

 

[wudiez]

Yes yes! Oh man! That's so true.. i understand... yer the truth is.. I think if i ask her for a relatinoshiop.. then she'll wanna spend more time with me and make an effort.. because right now it's like she just see's me whenever we just natrually bump into each other, or when we both have a major event on!

So your saying just live it up, while it lasts...
Also another thing is we never talk on the phone, we just instant msg each other over the chat, could this be a problem??

I use to be dinamite with calling chix, up but after a certain incident i kinda lost my confidence...

so i keep it real over the net, kinda weird huh!?

So your saying even if you get into a relatinoship, it's not like the both of you are going to see each other more often anyway right?? Well i mean, i wanna see this girl often.. cause.. she's awesome!! You know that feeling...

But yer, we have kissed, hugged hold hands etc...

So i mean, its like ?? WTF.. obviously.. it means where not just friends right??

Any mroe advice...

 

[wudiez]

Yer, your right! And i do think it's suddenly.. goin to end..

But you know hte weird thing is.. i do have other chix after me... like quite a few.. How would one convey that.. ???

But I only want this chic.. weird.. how the mind works.. but anyway.. your right about that entrap... keeping her thing... And how i think its going to end.. So then how would one go about changing that.. ??

I need a mentality change! or mindset change..

And yes i am young.. just turned 18

 

[KiInCollege]

Instant Messaging is not quality interaction. Stop using it.

I recommend restricting your talks with this girl to when you're out dating. No phone or IMs. Go on 3 straight dates with no other convos besides making the date over the phone.

 

[wudiez]

cant man! she's friends. .with quite a few of my friends.. and i go online to talk to my other friends... you know set up meetings etc..

Plus.. were both still in school.. its kinda hard seeing each other too often adn setting up dates.. I've only seen her a couple of times and that was over the course of the holidays...

and that's like 1 or twice every holidays.. so therefore i need to keep interactions..

I dunno.. more advice? Coz the advice i'm getting sure is helping so far...

thanks guys

 

[wudiez]

So do you reckon i just keep patient.. and just keep waiting till every big event comes up! Where she goes.. coz her friends go.. and i go coz my friends go.. and we just bump into each other.. and you know get together or wateva..

Like.. thats a **** load of patience right there.. that could be weeks months..

But if anyone has an easier solution would be nice??

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by wudiez
My dilemma!

I'm so close, to letting it all out, and telling her how i feel, and asking her what she wants! Cause I'm sick of this ****!!! Does anyone feel me???

But i know, its supposibly the wussy thing to do, Insight please...

You are talking like a woman!! Don't be an effeminate!! Women don't want a sensitive dude who shares his feelings!!!!! This will be your downfall!!

Say nothing until/unless she initiates convo! You are 'into' her more than she is into you - not good - this is a formula for failure!! Don't be a pvssy!!

 

[wudiez]

Yes I know! This... I've already decided not to tell her! But its prettty damn hard, in the situation I'm in.. I'm being stringed on.. YOu feel?? I mean.. i wish i could just wish these stupid ass feelings away..

But that's how life works doesnt it...

Ne way! Has anyone ever encountered a girl, with a good life, who's attractive, good humor etc. But doesnt play games or test??? I'd really like to know

Or has everyone been through the same ****.. Meet a girl, got into her, get dumped coz they turned wussy.. I mean... girls are so confusing..

I need some encourage ment...

 

[squirrels]

You know WHY guys dump their hearts out? It's because they don't have the balls to make a move and they're hoping if they give the girl a huge "I love you" sob story she'll have pity for him and take the responsibility of making things happen (play the MAN'S role in the relationship FOR him).

It seldom works that way.

"Does she like me? What does this mean? What does that mean?" Doesn't matter. "But she..." Doesn't matter.

You say you want to know if she likes you, but you're refraining from doing the one thing that will let you find out.

Yes, OF COURSE the guy should risk rejection. That's part of being a guy. To risk acceptance is to risk rejection, both possibilities come bundled in the same package. You want to know whether she likes you or not? Risk the rejection and find out.

 

[wudiez]

wait a second..
thats weird.. you tell me not to dump my heart out?? then you tell me to go ahead and risk rejection??

I'm so confused... but anyway.. I made my move mate! just not emotionally.. i'm not into that stuff, i didnt tell her i liked her.. ikinda just showed her physically and she reciprecated... i mean that's gotta show that she likes me right..

coz after that.. she started making hte moves physically like.. hodling hands kissing...

But to me, like people have told me, maybe her interest level isnt that high, thats why she hasnt made a move emotionally.. ..
and if i do anything now...like tell her how i feel..

it'll stuff the whole thing up.. so better just do nothing and keep doing which is making the moves.. getting physcial.. and wait till she starts saying what she wants...

But i dunno.. getting different opionions from people...

 

[wudiez]

hey guys just wondering.. so what do i do now.. ?? ignore her? Talk to her normally.. i mean you all know my situation right now.. I really find it hard i have no mindset or anything.. just keep it friendly.. ?? Flirt with her...

No indications of my feelings towards her right??

 

[wudiez]

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