"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Situation normal

Wilko

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The insipid messages from uninspiring women continue to trickle into my inbox: "Hey there :)", "Great Profile!", "Your profile made me laugh." etc etc. I usually let these go without replying.

And I get this one the other day, "Great profile! You actually have some character which is nice:)".

Why yes it is lady, it's nice when someone makes a unique impression and gives you the gift of an entertaining profile to read. You can apparently understand this highly abstract concept so that puts you one rung above the other monkeys - might as well see what you've got:

"Hi, I am a 32 year old girl looking for a mature down to earth, fun, easy going guy who is not scared of commitment. I would love to find a guy who I can spend time with and share unforgetable moments with. I am very involved in my work but would not hesitate to make time for that special someone."

Ugh. How do you...just...seriously....wtf. How is it that you're able to recognise wit, charm, and originality, and yet you make no effort to display those very qualities you find attractive. This has always bugged the living sh!t out of me, but it's what I've come to expect. So I figure I'll probe around a little this time, see just how much self-awareness she actually has:

"Wish I could say the same about yours, very disappointing."

"Yes, that's a fair comment. I'm really not a fan of these online sites and when I set this profile up I was, well, a little bit lazy." [pics attached this time]

Straight from the horse's mouth: Men should want to date me because....vagina.

"I'm not really a fan of these online sites" - Which explains why I saw your profile on another site, obviously.

"When I set this profile up I was, well, a little bit lazy". Translation: My profile is terrible because I really don't care about this online dating stuff, it's just so silly you know, so if I fail, if men reject me, then I can blame that on the fact that I wasn't really trying, and it's not a reflection on my worth as a person, it doesn't really mean that I have nothing of value to offer a man.

Man can I read them. I'd seen enough at this point so I cut it off, I could have played with her a bit more, but I'm not that sadistic...yet.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Wilko

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Precisely, and this:

"Hi, I am a 32 year old girl looking for a mature down to earth, fun, easy going guy who is not scared of commitment. I would love to find a guy who I can spend time with and share unforgetable moments with. I am very involved in my work but would not hesitate to make time for that special someone."

is appropriate bait for bottom feeding suction eels.

But otherwise, yeah, absolutely, a profile is a blurb, not a biography.
 

Huffman

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So what? If a woman messages me I usually reply. Actually I don't think "Hi :)" is a lame message.

You know, being creative and attractive on the internet is a pain in the ass. If her pic looks OK, I'd still give her a chance. Maybe after a couple of messages I can get her to reveal what she's really into? If not then meh...

Maybe she's just a little "online dating shy"... not everyone on the internet is an idiot, not every woman is a bimbo.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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