"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Situation normal

Wilko

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The insipid messages from uninspiring women continue to trickle into my inbox: "Hey there :)", "Great Profile!", "Your profile made me laugh." etc etc. I usually let these go without replying.

And I get this one the other day, "Great profile! You actually have some character which is nice:)".

Why yes it is lady, it's nice when someone makes a unique impression and gives you the gift of an entertaining profile to read. You can apparently understand this highly abstract concept so that puts you one rung above the other monkeys - might as well see what you've got:

"Hi, I am a 32 year old girl looking for a mature down to earth, fun, easy going guy who is not scared of commitment. I would love to find a guy who I can spend time with and share unforgetable moments with. I am very involved in my work but would not hesitate to make time for that special someone."

Ugh. How do you...just...seriously....wtf. How is it that you're able to recognise wit, charm, and originality, and yet you make no effort to display those very qualities you find attractive. This has always bugged the living sh!t out of me, but it's what I've come to expect. So I figure I'll probe around a little this time, see just how much self-awareness she actually has:

"Wish I could say the same about yours, very disappointing."

"Yes, that's a fair comment. I'm really not a fan of these online sites and when I set this profile up I was, well, a little bit lazy." [pics attached this time]

Straight from the horse's mouth: Men should want to date me because....vagina.

"I'm not really a fan of these online sites" - Which explains why I saw your profile on another site, obviously.

"When I set this profile up I was, well, a little bit lazy". Translation: My profile is terrible because I really don't care about this online dating stuff, it's just so silly you know, so if I fail, if men reject me, then I can blame that on the fact that I wasn't really trying, and it's not a reflection on my worth as a person, it doesn't really mean that I have nothing of value to offer a man.

Man can I read them. I'd seen enough at this point so I cut it off, I could have played with her a bit more, but I'm not that sadistic...yet.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Wilko

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Precisely, and this:

"Hi, I am a 32 year old girl looking for a mature down to earth, fun, easy going guy who is not scared of commitment. I would love to find a guy who I can spend time with and share unforgetable moments with. I am very involved in my work but would not hesitate to make time for that special someone."

is appropriate bait for bottom feeding suction eels.

But otherwise, yeah, absolutely, a profile is a blurb, not a biography.
 

Huffman

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So what? If a woman messages me I usually reply. Actually I don't think "Hi :)" is a lame message.

You know, being creative and attractive on the internet is a pain in the ass. If her pic looks OK, I'd still give her a chance. Maybe after a couple of messages I can get her to reveal what she's really into? If not then meh...

Maybe she's just a little "online dating shy"... not everyone on the internet is an idiot, not every woman is a bimbo.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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