"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Situation before a relationship

Weezzyy

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Soo, I'm quite a lurker here, but I have experience. I would say I'm a more of a natural alpha then I am a beta, with some beta traits that over the years I have learned to control. The reason I say natural is because I have strong company of friends and family that stand firm in our community and have shown me how to go trough life as a real man doing whatever I please within boundaries.

However I have come to this website for the first time not to read other posts and learn but to ask a question about a situation I happen to be in.

Im 23, had 1 relationship when I was 15, and understood directly that having relationship is not for the young, and broke it off after 4 months and since then have been doing whatever I want(IE, travel, have fun with any women that interests me). I have no problem approaching and being social and where me and my friends are we attract attention because of our bold methods which makes having fun with numerous women very easy.

I have come to a point that I met a girl, An hb7 i would rate, however her style and status with her friends and the amount of desperate betas orbiters around her would probably make her a common hb8. Let me say I don't even look at a girl if she isn't at least 6.5+.

I did something different with this girl and approached her not as a prospect to have fun but as a GF prospect. In the beginning I had not made this clear as it was difficult for me but she thought I saw her as a friend and treated me as such, seems I had trouble expressing higher desires. As a result of her(or maybe my own) actions I went dark cold without reason, she did nothing wrong but she did not do what I fought she would do and is go after me like I'm used to. 3 months after I go silent I get a text from her asking how I am etc, and then she gets to the point asking why I went dark, I said communication comes from both ways so you might as well state why you didn't make an effort, and she said she thought i wanted her just as a friend , at that point i expressed my desire to be more however would like to take it slow get to learn each other much better(I don't do gf for the hck of it, i do it for stability and marriage eventually). We start talking etc, and its all good, all of her friends know me btw and always come say hi and ask what sup when I'm somewhere(even before i started talking to her).

Now the problem is the ****ing beta orbiters. They irritate me so much those lowlife forms of men. When this girl goes to a club with her friends, there are 2 certain betas that ALWAYS ALWAYS come there to follow them and hangout with them. These guys also make extra effort before coming to get them ice cream etc. Now let me be clear, I see them as no threat because I have enough experience to see who a women is interested in, and its clearly me and not the beta. However they are WAY to friendly in my opinion, it is something that I will not accept of the women that would be my girlfriend, and I have expressed this, her answer was they're just friends that follow us around and we have fun and use them when we can, BUT they do have a nice time together and have a group chat with her friends and the 2 betas. She said that when things progress between us she will eventually drop them and make it clear she is dating me.

What should I do? She has a point, were not really in a relationship so I can't force her to respect my boundaries, because we have none yet. Yet every time I'm somewhere with my friends and this hb happens to be there to also with her friends i see those betas with them and get mad at myself for allowing myself to talk with her.. Am i right to get mad? Do i wait it out till we are official? Should I even get official? I should mention she is the smart hard working type and not the usual slut that is in it for the fun.

Am i to strict? or should she have a boundary even before becoming official?
We have went on 1 date as of now. I have no need to go on a date every week, once in the 2-3 weeks is enough for me as I have many other things on my mind (college/work/hobbys/friends).

Any tips? questions, all will be answered.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Weezzyy

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No tips or any help that could improve/change my way of thinking ? Im thinking of just dropping..
 

Weezzyy

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
The betas arent the threat, your oneitis' AW club wh0ring impulses are the threat.
Would an ultimatum be the choice here then? Or just drop without giving further attention?
 

astrn

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Well don't drop yet but don't put extra effort or try something stupid that make your guard down!. My advice would be just have fun when you're with her or together with your friends. Make her happy with your funny humour side. Don't chase or persist for date or something else, be cool but don't ignore her also completely. You can apply light push/pull. Kino when she is close to you. She will attracted to you eventually. I believe those orbiters are just orbiters! Don't worry about them. And when the timing is right go for a kiss! She will arrange that time window for you!
 

DragonBlood

Master Don Juan
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Weezzyy said:
I did something different with this girl and approached her not as a prospect to have fun but as a GF prospect.
This was a mistake, when you buy into the relationship frame you are giving the girl a lot of power and also FORCING her to take things slow. Its better if she brings up the idea of an exclusive relationship.


To answer your question, orbiters are a normal part of dating a hot girl. There is nothing you can do about them. I would not set any boundaries, allow the women to invest emotionally first and let her bring up the idea. Thats your strongest position. The more you desire a gf (such as the orbiters) the less likely it will actually happen.

Weezzyy said:
She said that when things progress between us she will eventually drop them and make it clear she is dating me.
Bingo! Like she says, when she invests emotionally into the relationship and views losing you as unacceptable only then will she start paying attention to your needs, cutting people loose and setting boundaries. Make sense? bonus points for the girl actually trying to make this clear for you (As long as she likes you).
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Weezzyy

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Yes it makes perfect sense and you just gave me very sound advice. I will just proceed as I usually do with her as I do with any girl until she brings up more of the idea of an exclusive relationship. I am lucky I have no absolute desire to have a GF and see it more as a thing that would be nice if it happened naturally, no forcing anything.
I will just wait it out and keep my mind clear of the orbiters, normally I have no problem as I don't plan on getting attached to the girl, which is obviously in this case different. I will tread carefully.

Any more advice is of course welcomed and appreciated
 
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