"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Sitting at a coffee shop

don juan jr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2006
Messages
127
Reaction score
0
Hey

I've been thinking up some scenarios in my head and i can see them becoming true. And i want to be prepared.

So you are sitting in a coffee shop with a three thing binder open in your hand. You notice a hottie checking you out. You make eye contact, smile, and say "hi."
"hi, whatcha readin there?"
"its top secret."
"oh really?"
"yes really."
"come on, i wanna know!"

what would you say next?
a. "like i said beb, top secret." and then close the binder
b. "well if you must know, i'm reading a book that will help me pick up women."
c. insert line here
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

GloriouslyInsane

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2006
Messages
507
Reaction score
1
"If i told you,i'd have to kill you" in an joking manner of course.
 

AudiTy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
187
Reaction score
2
Age
36
"It's my spell book. Go buy me a cookie or I'll turn you into a Squirrel"
 

xblitz44x

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2002
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
13
Age
46
AudiTy said:
"It's my spell book. Go buy me a cookie or I'll turn you into a Squirrel"
I like that. Gloriously, you have the right idea but I'd advise against using the word "kill" in the first conversation with a woman you've met in public.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
AudiTy said:
"It's my spell book. Go buy me a cookie or I'll turn you into a Squirrel"
Squirrel, chipmunk, bunny, ferret; any cute little rodent... I like it! :up:
 

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
891
Reaction score
7
Location
Canada
I'd go with b... you'd better be writing down C+F jokes next to everything there though, or they will believe you:p

blitz44, You've never heard the saying before? Try say it like a pirate next time somebody asks you "what's up"

Myself, "Oh, nothing that you would understand" "why? Because your a girl, *swipe hand over head* right over your head"

That way your playing on her last words "oh come on I wanna know"
 

AudiTy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
187
Reaction score
2
Age
36
xblitz44x said:
AudiTy said:
"It's my spell book. Go buy me a cookie or I'll turn you into a Squirrel"
I like that. Gloriously, you have the right idea but I'd advise against using the word "kill" in the first conversation with a woman you've met in public.
Way to quote :whistle:
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,077
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Squirrel, chipmunk, bunny, ferret; any cute little rodent... I like it! :up:
i was thinking of dog actualy, but speaking of squirrel, where is he? havent seen him in ages, this thread just reminded me of him!
 

xblitz44x

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2002
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
13
Age
46
AudiTy said:
Way to quote :whistle:
I gave you credit and said that I like your idea. Then I said, as a seperate idea, that Gloriously's idea was good too but he should avoid using the world 'kill'. I should have broken the paragraphs up. My apologies. :up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

AudiTy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
187
Reaction score
2
Age
36
Oh right lol, I thought you were using 'Gloriously' as a descriptive word :crackup:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
check_mate_kid_uk said:
i was thinking of dog actualy, but speaking of squirrel, where is he? havent seen him in ages, this thread just reminded me of him!
Good question, haven't seen him around in ages.
 

chickenlegs03

Banned
Joined
Apr 15, 2006
Messages
270
Reaction score
8
xblitz44x said:
I like that. Gloriously, you have the right idea but I'd advise against using the word "kill" in the first conversation with a woman you've met in public.
in fact, don't use anything that may make them think you are a violent person.

i was doing an approach once, a long time ago and it was going great...

the girl had a little scar on her ear and told me about how her brother hit her with a golf club when they were tiny kids...and then i made the mistake of telling her how i slammed the door on my little sister's face when we were like 7 and 8.

not sure if that was it, but it kind of went down hill from there...
 

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
891
Reaction score
7
Location
Canada
chickenlegs03 said:
in fact, don't use anything that may make them think you are a violent person.

i was doing an approach once, a long time ago and it was going great...

the girl had a little scar on her ear and told me about how her brother hit her with a golf club when they were tiny kids...and then i made the mistake of telling her how i slammed the door on my little sister's face when we were like 7 and 8.

not sure if that was it, but it kind of went down hill from there...
LOL nice story...
blah blah blah "I got it from a golf club when I was a kid"
'OMG REALLY WOW!!!! I SLAMMED A DOOR INTO MY SISTERS FACE!!!! ROFL!!!"

awkward silence for two minutes while you never beak eye contact.

"DOOR IN HER FACE!!! ROFL!!!!"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top