"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Single on valentiens day?
- Thread starter Swede54
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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- May 21, 2004
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- 1,887
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that aside, i don't see your problem anyway. valentines day is what, almost 3 weeks away? instead of asking people on the net what they will do on valentines day, get off the chair, go out into the world and meet girls. if you magically expect them to come to you, there is a good chance that you will be single everyday, not just valentines day.
Alpine
Master Don Juan
Mind is right, you are betraying your mindset. Assume you will have a date, if you want to, and start acting NOW.
Tip though, just don't mension Valentines at all.
Let us know how many you have to choose from.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 15, 2004
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- buy roses for their gf at $10 a pop
- buy candy for their gf at $30 a box
The chick eats all the candy, gains 3 lbs, the flowers die in 3 days, and everything goes back to normal again. Big deal.
Take that $40 that you'd spend on a woman (if you had one) and go spoil yourself.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
agreed... now GET OUT THERE!
err.... the fact that u DID buy her the roses and candy DOES change things... even AFTER they roses die and the candy is gone... Its that special feeling that you give the girl that changes things from being "normal", its that memory of getting presents from you that changes things even AFTER the present is no longer there.
And you are really going to make a big deal of it, then buy her something that WONT be gone after a few days
Laterz...
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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The problem with Valentine's day is she's expecting something. Most likely she's expecting candy, flowers, balloons, and a card. If she gets what she expects, it's not special.
Do her a favor. Buy her a frying pan, a bag of chips, and a Judas Priest CD. Autograph the CD by writing "Happy Valentine's Day - Rob Halford"
I guarantee that'll give her more memories than the traditional Valentine's Day gifts.
Alpine
Master Don Juan
Let her know, you expect to be taken out and given stuff, if she doesn't she won't get any sex for a week and you will stomp around the place and be heavy handed with kitchen utensils.
Your theory is correct... u must give her the unexpected
nice, and good thinking. But i wouldnt exactly buy her the stuff that u mentioned Alpine said:
You dont want to threten and/or cause a fight.... so dont EXPECT sex and so on, just enjoy eachothers company and do something "special" togeather.
Laterz...
NewMan
Master Don Juan
All the single girls will be prettying themselves up and hitting the bars/clubs.
They are single on valentines day.
They don't want to be.
Ideal time to pick them up.
Have fun boys.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
But don't worry. I'm still a manly man. Cause inbetween movies I'll spit and scratch my ass.
Alexi
Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Master Don Juan
Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Master Don Juan
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
No-one said that u have to spend money on buying anything... just spending some quality and special time with a girl that u care for, and she cares for you is enough... eventhough buying something small for like $20 shouldnt bother u that much, because the girl that u are asking to be your valentine would probably mean alot to you, so surely she would be worth AT LEAST $20 on valentines day, no?
If the girl that you are asking etc isnt someone u care for, and u are just after some punani, then a gift isnt a MUST, eventhough it would probably increase ur chances of "impressing her", but still, its not a MUST if you dont want to. And like someone mentioned, if the girl isnt someone that u are close to ( in a relationship with) etc, then asking that girl ( a girl that u arent close to ) to be your valentines in not the best of idea's, but if u DO ask a girl like this, then u dont HAVE to buy her a gift, i mean, ur asking HER to be YOUR valentines, what MORE can she ask for?
Anyways... I wish u all a Happy Valentines day and the best of luck...
Laterz....
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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Why not? I got my woman a spatula and a card on our first Valentine's day together. The spatula was way cheaper than a rose. I guess I could've made it more special by engraving her name in the handle with a dremel.
Note to self: take the funnel to the engravers this weekend.
I like ur way of thinking... very romantic... not many people have that ability... keep it up man
... and i guess you just gave me a new vision to work on... that you can take things that dont SEEM to be "beautifull" and MAKE them beautifull.... hmm... looks like i will be doing alot of thinking on this concept, and i shall soon share some idea's with all of you... thanx Desdinova.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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The only real serious thing I give her is a card. Unfortunately, you can't get away with being completely unromantic.
True....
but what i think is a really GREAT idea is the "ingraving" thing... and i'm sure that it will make her feel as special as hell
I'm gonna do that on valentines day, maybe get my chick a ring or something with "i love you" or " with love from Tommy" etc... i think that it would be really cute/romantic... but i'll see, hehe...Laterz...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.