Single Mom Lets It Be Known "Her Kids Come First"

[Gamisch]

Yeh I think I will need to break it off with her.. I have some excuses at hand, that I can use to avoid seeing her for the next 2-3 weeks, in that time I will simply pull the plug.

No lie, she has been a good chick to me so far, however this recent stunt from here, puts me in a very difficult spot, which I don't think I can pull back from.

Your being a whining *****. You eject because you as a grown man got a grown-up answer? Even though you say she is basically good for you?

Cmon man. You gonna regret your decision sooner or later. Did you even read my posts?

 

[DJVision]

Your being a whining *****. You eject because you as a grown man got a grown-up answer? Even though you say she is basically good for you?

Cmon man. You gonna regret your decision sooner or later. Did you even read my posts?

To be honest, I get it.. Her kids are her priority, even though I already know this, and I have always made efforts to make things easy for her..

I often change my work schedule to accommodate her.. I don't see her on Christmas or New year's because she wants to spend that time with her kids.

Additionally she wants me to be exclusive to her only, which means I probably won't be able to have children in the future, as she definitely doesn't want anymore kids.

I really have tried my best to accommodate her.. But her telling me that I will always come after her kids, has just kinda woke me up to the reality of the situation.

I don't know if I can give up this much for her, if whenever she is annoyed or if our plans clash, that she keeps reminding me of my position.

I hear you.. But I don't think I could live like that for long.

 

[BPH]

A real man isn't afraid to be around kids.

Women = kids. You gotta be able to stand your ground and also actually enjoy them being around.

Might as well let out some " fatherly energy " and surprise them with a small gift now and then, because his chance to become a father are slim to none at this age.

Be human

Your being a whining *****. You eject because you as a grown man got a grown-up answer? Even though you say she is basically good for you?

Cmon man. You gonna regret your decision sooner or later. Did you even read my posts?

@DJVision I wasn't gonna quote this guy, seeing as I have him ignored, but he's still talking about me with the "most arrogant poster award" in another thread so I'm going to address these pieces of "advice" because I find them incomprehensibly stupid.

I do not believe a "real man" raises somebody else's kids. You will never replace their father, and you will never be a priority over them.

Everybody has their own tolerance level, so I am not telling you how to live your life, but do not make that decision based on THIS piece of advice. He's basically saying that because you're older you should give up on finding a woman who checks all your boxes and settle for being a father to somebody else's children.

I could not disagree more.

When faced with an uncomfortable decision I think you have only 2 options;

Settle and accept, because you believe this is your "best".

Or say f*** that, maintain your standards, and if the women you desire aren't within your grasp then YOU improve until they are.

I believe at the end of the day the decision really is that simple. My entire journaling experience and growth into who I am now is a result of that fear of "settling". Maybe it will be yours too.

 

[Gamisch]

@DJVision I wasn't gonna quote this guy, seeing as I have him ignored, but he's still talking about me with the "most arrogant poster award" in another thread so I'm going to address these pieces of "advice" because I find them incomprehensibly stupid.

I do not believe a "real man" raises somebody else's kids. You will never replace their father, and you will never be a priority over them.

Everybody has their own tolerance level, so I am not telling you how to live your life, but do not make that decision based on THIS piece of advice. He's basically saying that because you're older you should give up on finding a woman who checks all your boxes and settle for being a father to somebody else's children.

I could not disagree more.

When faced with an uncomfortable decision I think you have only 2 options;

Settle and accept, because you believe this is your "best".

Or say f*** that, maintain your standards, and if the women you desire aren't within your grasp then YOU improve until they are.

I believe at the end of the day the decision really is that simple. My entire journaling experience and growth into who I am now is a result of that fear of "settling". Maybe it will be yours too.

Wait you wanna ignore or have a conversation? I swear I sometimes think you are a woman..
Nothing is manly about you, just like your advice here. I can tell you are a mama's boy by the advice you give. You are indeed quite arrogant, as you proof in this post. Again, in the streets the dogs would bite you and eat you alive.

We can keep on these shenanigans or you simply find your balls and address me like a man. If you wanna talk to me talk to ME.

Your growth? Gtfo. You're arrogant, 31 and you don't even have your own place and feel the need to share everytime a mediocre woman gives you some attention. I try to respect you but it's extremely difficult.

Perhaps next year you'll show you better side

 

[DJVision]

@DJVision I wasn't gonna quote this guy, seeing as I have him ignored, but he's still talking about me with the "most arrogant poster award" in another thread so I'm going to address these pieces of "advice" because I find them incomprehensibly stupid.

I do not believe a "real man" raises somebody else's kids. You will never replace their father, and you will never be a priority over them.

Everybody has their own tolerance level, so I am not telling you how to live your life, but do not make that decision based on THIS piece of advice. He's basically saying that because you're older you should give up on finding a woman who checks all your boxes and settle for being a father to somebody else's children.

I could not disagree more.

When faced with an uncomfortable decision I think you have only 2 options;

Settle and accept, because you believe this is your "best".

Or say f*** that, maintain your standards, and if the women you desire aren't within your grasp then YOU improve until they are.

I believe at the end of the day the decision really is that simple. My entire journaling experience and growth into who I am now is a result of that fear of "settling". Maybe it will be yours too.

BRO I am totally ignoring his advice.

I made this chick very aware from DAY 1 that I do not want anything to do with her kids.

I explained to her, that I will never be the father, they have a daddy, and it's not me.

I gave her the option, and she kept wanting me, and she accepted I will not be playing substitute father.

I'm not in the game of raising another mans DNA.. All that being said, I was hoping she would atleast appreciate the little sacrifices I have made to accommodate her.

I was also hoping that she would atleast acknowledge that by being with her, I give up all possibility of starting my own family.

But her Reminding me that I am not her priority, really doesn't make me feel like making any serious commitment to her.

I feel like I should just demote her to FB.

How about I just let her know how I feel about her actions, and make her aware that I don't want an LTR with her?

 

[Gamisch]

To be honest, I get it.. Her kids are her priority, even though I already know this, and I have always made efforts to make things easy for her..

I often change my work schedule to accommodate her.. I don't see her on Christmas or New year's because she wants to spend that time with her kids.

Additionally she wants me to be exclusive to her only, which means I probably won't be able to have children in the future, as she definitely doesn't want anymore kids.

I really have tried my best to accommodate her.. But her telling me that I will always come after her kids, has just kinda woke me up to the reality of the situation.

I don't know if I can give up this much for her, if whenever she is annoyed or if our plans clash, that she keeps reminding me of my position.

I hear you.. But I don't think I could live like that for long.

Yeah OP listen to the manchild of the forum who lives at home at 31 and refuses to take responsibility in life. He will help you out. Dude can't even survive on his own and moves like I did when I was 16 lol.

You're being childish. Period. All that matters is if she is good for you or not. Believe me, a GOOD woman is a rare commodity. D

That conversation is long overdue by the way. Let it be a lesson, that kids ALWAYS come first! You can always reject a woman with kids but do that at the start. If you agree, go all in.

Dude has a personal vendetta with me because I called him out here and there... Don't lose a good woman because he wants to fight a battle with me over your back. That would be beyond stupid.

 

[DJVision]

Wait you wanna ignore or have a conversation? I swear I sometimes think you are a woman..
Nothing is manly about you, just like your advice here. I cab tell you are a mama's boy by the advice you give. You are indeed quite arrogant, as you proof un this post. Again, in the streets the dogs would bite you amd eat you alive.

We can keep on these shenanigans or you simply find your balls and address me like a man. If you wanna talk to me talk to ME.

Your growth? Gtfo. You're arrogant, 31 and you don't even have your own place and feel the need to share everytime a mediocre woman gives you some attention. I try to respect you but it's extremely difficult.

Perhaps next year you'll show you better side

Go eat dog turd then pal.. pull that dildo out of your azz, it's making you very angry at strangers for no reason lol Joker

 

[DJVision]

Yeah OP listen to the manchild of the forum who lives at home at 31 and refuses to take responsibility in life. He will help you out. Dude can't even survive on his own and moves like I did when I was 16 lol.

You're being childish. Period. All that matters is if she is good for you or not. Believe me, a GOOD woman is a rare commodity. D

That conversation is long overdue by the way. Let it be a lesson, that kids ALWAYS come first! You can always reject a woman with kids but do that at the start. If you agree, go all in.

Dude has a personal vendetta with me because I called him out here and there... Don't lose a good woman because he wants to fight a battle with me over your back. That would be beyond stupid.

Who is this angry clown ???

Is this a regular poster? He sounds an angry

Yeah OP listen to the manchild of the forum who lives at home at 31 and refuses to take responsibility in life. He will help you out. Dude can't even survive on his own and moves like I did when I was 16 lol.

You're being childish. Period. All that matters is if she is good for you or not. Believe me, a GOOD woman is a rare commodity. D

That conversation is long overdue by the way. Let it be a lesson, that kids ALWAYS come first! You can always reject a woman with kids but do that at the start. If you agree, go all in.

Dude has a personal vendetta with me because I called him out here and there... Don't lose a good woman because he wants to fight a battle with me over your back. That would be beyond stupid.

Go back to your basement your useless advice isn't needed angry boy

 

[Gamisch]

Go eat dog turd then pal.. pull that dildo out of your azz, it's making you very angry at strangers for no reason lol Joker

Yeah let your frustration go! That will help!

You ain't man enough either way to handle a woman like that if such a simple qoute hurts you. I was being quite polite but it's oke..

Whiney little ***** can't comprehend a mother saying that her kids are number one LOL. You are bendable like butter in the sun.

Seems like a bromance just happened! Agree with the manchild and wish you best of luck! Let us know how it goes.

 

[Gamisch]

To be honest, I get it.. Her kids are her priority, even though I already know this, and I have always made efforts to make things easy for her..

I often change my work schedule to accommodate her.. I don't see her on Christmas or New year's because she wants to spend that time with her kids.

Additionally she wants me to be exclusive to her only, which means I probably won't be able to have children in the future, as she definitely doesn't want anymore kids.

I really have tried my best to accommodate her.. But her telling me that I will always come after her kids, has just kinda woke me up to the reality of the situation.

I don't know if I can give up this much for her, if whenever she is annoyed or if our plans clash, that she keeps reminding me of my position.

I hear you.. But I don't think I could live like that for long.

You went from normal to a angry toddler in two posts lol. What happened?

You are about to make a poor life choice is all I'm saying...wish you all the best

 

[Bokanovsky]

A real man isn't afraid to be around kids.

Women = kids. You gotta be able to stand your ground and also actually enjoy them being around.

Might as well let out some " fatherly energy " and surprise them with a small gift now and then, because his chance to become a father are slim to none at this age.

Be human

Sorry but I have to push back on this. Not wanting to be around somebody else's kids is not the same thing as being "afraid" of being around kids. A "real man" who wants kids will find a way to have his own kids instead of wasting his time raising somebody else's.

 

[BPH]

Is this a regular poster? He sounds an angry

Unfortunately yes.

I made a post around Halloween asking for logistical advice with a girl I was considering meeting up with, because he is correct that I'm 30 (not sure why he keeps getting that number wrong) and currently live with my parents.

He made it a point to offer unsolicited advice in several unrelated threads about my financial situation and why others should disregard what I say because I haven't figured this area of my life out, to the point where he is the one and only person on this entire board that I have on my ignore list. That part is correct though - I do need to figure out and improve my financial situation while moving out of my parent's place, which is something I'm in the process of right now with a listing agent trying to find me apartments in Philly.

Thing is, I do get laid a lot. Recently made this thread: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/fr-97.283406/

97 because that is the 97th woman I've slept with.

Take the advice of the people who have achieved what you desire in the area you desire it. All I know about him is he's a painter around my age and has kids. But if somebody's advice to me was to settle into the uncomfortable situation I'm in, rather than find a solution, I probably wouldn't listen to them.

 

[Gamisch]

Sorry but I have to push back on this. Not wanting to be around somebody else's kids is not the same thing as being "afraid" of being around kids. A "real man" who wants kids will find a way to have his own kids instead of wasting his time raising somebody else's.

I get that.

But as I said when you are 48 (?)you will run into women that have kids. Me being a farther perhaps influences my judgement. There's also a difference between raising and simply showing some love to the kids now and and then.

Besides that, I think he knew about her kids from the get go. I think that most men over 40 better learn to deal with women with kids. Buts thas MY opinion.

Apparently he made up his mind. Idgaf what he does or doesn't do. But in general I would advise ( older) men to slow down on the hate against single mothers because you might miss out on great relationships.

 

[Gamisch]

Unfortunately yes.

I made a post around Halloween asking for logistical advice with a girl I was considering meeting up with, because he is correct that I'm 30 (not sure why he keeps getting that number wrong) and currently live with my parents.

He made it a point to offer unsolicited advice in several unrelated threads about my financial situation and why others should disregard what I say because I haven't figured this area of my life out, to the point where he is the one and only person on this entire board that I have on my ignore list. That part is correct though - I do need to figure out and improve my financial situation while moving out of my parent's place, which is something I'm in the process of right now with a listing agent trying to find me apartments in Philly.

Thing is, I do get laid a lot. Recently made this thread: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/fr-97.283406/

97 because that is the 97th woman I've slept with.

Take the advice of the people who have achieved what you desire in the area you desire it. All I know about him is he's a painter around my age and has kids. But if somebody's advice to me was to settle into the uncomfortable situation I'm in, rather than find a solution, I probably wouldn't listen to them.

Really ? You really wanna fight this out again?

You are a charlatan. Quite narcissistic with that. You still ain't over that post and that's like 6 months ago haha. You have the vindictiveness of a woman.

I slept with more than 200 women while living together and having kids. So even your stats don't impress me. You know NOTHING about how grown men move, let alone you know anything about kids. So where you get that wisdom from?

Maybe you should focus on getting your own place. If you wanna fight me make your own thread and we'll duke it out there.

OP asked for opinions so I gave mine , you gave yours and its up to him what he thinks is better. Time will tell.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why would anyone think they would come before someone's kids?

Are you seriously delusional? She had probably already told her kids about going to the concert and you expect her to then tell them no because she has to go on a date? C'mon man. If I was dating a woman and she did that to me I would honestly probably just dump her for being that clueless.

If she DID put you before her kids that would be a major red flag and would render her undateable, IMO.

You have no understanding of kids because you don't have them. Which means you probably shouldn't be dating someone that has them because you have no concept of how to approach that or what that entails and as such will have expectations that are not based in reality.

Same reason I strongly prefer to date someone with kids, because I have them and we both understand what that entails.

 

[DJVision]

Why are you focusing on her kids that much? You should focus on having an interesting life outside of her, dating other women, and fvcking this one like no man has ever done before. Everything else you're posting in here makes no sense.

What part are you not getting bro.. I don't care about her kids lol.. I just hate the arrogance of this chick, trying to make me feel like I will always be second best,. especially when I went out of my way for her.

Yes, lesson learned.. I should not have given her any special treatment.

I already fuk this one like crazy, that's why she is trying to meet up with me.

I simply wanted to know if I should downgrade her to FB only, considering this probably will not be the last time she, points out to me how her kids are priority.

Thanks for the advice though.

 

[Alvafe]

BRO I am totally ignoring his advice.

I made this chick very aware from DAY 1 that I do not want anything to do with her kids.

I explained to her, that I will never be the father, they have a daddy, and it's not me.

I gave her the option, and she kept wanting me, and she accepted I will not be playing substitute father.

I'm not in the game of raising another mans DNA.. All that being said, I was hoping she would atleast appreciate the little sacrifices I have made to accommodate her.

I was also hoping that she would atleast acknowledge that by being with her, I give up all possibility of starting my own family.

But her Reminding me that I am not her priority, really doesn't make me feel like making any serious commitment to her.

I feel like I should just demote her to FB.

How about I just let her know how I feel about her actions, and make her aware that I don't want an LTR with her?

then don't, but also you can't have her as a GF, woman with children is for fun only, never take one serious, you know waht you should do but for some reason youa re afraid of be shamed, go figures

 

[Gamisch]

Why would anyone think they would come before someone's kids?

Are you seriously delusional?

If she DID put you before her kids that would be a major red flag and would render her undateable, IMO.

You have no understanding of kids because you don't have them. Which means you probably shouldn't be dating someone that has them because you have no concept of how to approach that or what that entails and as such will have expectations that are not based in reality.

Same reason I strongly prefer to date someone with kids, because I have them and we both understand what that entails.

Because that's the state of the modern male.

This forum shows it . They can't seem to outgrow their teenage phase. If anything, I start to sympathise with women more and more. Zero comprehension, me me me and thinking with their little worm all the time.

But ssst, don't upset him!! He will get mad and throw a tantrum like a toddler!

 

[DJVision]

Why would anyone think they would come before someone's kids?

Are you seriously delusional?

If she DID put you before her kids that would be a major red flag and would render her undateable, IMO.

You have no understanding of kids because you don't have them. Which means you probably shouldn't be dating someone that has them because you have no concept of how to approach that or what that entails and as such will have expectations that are not based in reality.

Same reason I strongly prefer to date someone with kids, because I have them and we both understand what that entails.

Wow dude do you even read anything?

Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that a woman's kids always comes first... I know that.. you know that.. She knows that.. It's common fukin sense.

I don't care if she priorities her kids (She absolutely better do)

My issue is, when she verbalises it to me, when my plans get in her way, or vice versa!!

How does this not make sense to you?

I take all the risks.. I make all the sacrifices.. I commit to her, and never have children of my own.. And every few months she reminds me, that I am not her priority?

What part of this are you not getting lol

 

[DJVision]

Your post is whining why you're not 1st priority on her life cause of the kid. And you're 48 years old and that lost in life? Lord have mercy

At this point it's clear to me, your too damn low IQ to comprehend simple situations.

Let me repeat myself, so you're brain finally comprehends what I am saying.

01. I totally do not care about not being her first priority.. Why? Because a mother should always make her child her priority.

"Now please read carefully, as this is the part you're brain is unable to comprehend"

What us men don't like is, to be verbally reminded by her, that we are below her children.. Do you get it?

Yes her kids come first.. But whenever plans/schedules clash, and she makes it a thing to verbalise this to me..

"hey DJVision, your not my priority, my children are" it gets fukin tired.

I hope this makes a little more sense, or would you like me to draw you some pictures?