"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Simple Question

mfd1830

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Most of my previous dates/girlfriends I've had in my life started with friendship, friend of a friend, etc. All situations where we already knew eachother and had a rapport. Now I'm starting to meet girls that are totally strangers to me.

My question is, for these situations when you've only talked to a girl for a few minutes to get her number beforehand and are meeting for the "first" time, do you hug them hello? I think it would be a good idea, if done with the right "I do this with everyone and it's not a big deal" attitude, so as to break through any nervous barriers immediately as well as to establish physicality and comfort.

Do any of you guys do this? Do you do other things along the same lines? I think back to awkward dates I've had and how they might've gone differently had I done something like this right away.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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brian123

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I'd just act confident with them. If they go for the hug, then go for it. Otherwise, sometimes I do the half hug/pat on the back when saying hello like that.
 

WC2

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Hugs are for friends and funerals.

When you first meet a girl anything goes as long as you're confident about it. I usually go for an underhand handshake before she can even stick her hand out there and say anything. "I'm WC2 nice to meet you."

Easy as that.

As long as you're taking the initiative and leading her into the introduction, it's fine.

I don't think I've ever really hugged a girl unless she was in some real mental instability. Usually a kiss on the cheek with a hand on the hip to a female acquaintance will suffice. You're not laying a kiss on the lips, but you're still showing her you're not afraid to touch her.
 

mfd1830

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I don't know, maybe a hug isn't the right thing, but I always feel like after you've chatted with a girl for a couple minutes, have gotten the number and then meet her somewhere for the first date, there's always a little awkwardness right when you see eachother. Because at that point you're basically still strangers; you've only talked a short while, maybe a week ago, and now you have to quickly re-establish the rapport that you had that created the attraction and got the number in the first place. Maybe it's something that could be said in words? Am I thinking too much about nothing?

These kinds of dates have never went that well for me and I feel like these simple things that diffuse awkwardness and make us both comfortable immediately are what matters most for making it a success.
 
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