"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Simple Question

mfd1830

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Most of my previous dates/girlfriends I've had in my life started with friendship, friend of a friend, etc. All situations where we already knew eachother and had a rapport. Now I'm starting to meet girls that are totally strangers to me.

My question is, for these situations when you've only talked to a girl for a few minutes to get her number beforehand and are meeting for the "first" time, do you hug them hello? I think it would be a good idea, if done with the right "I do this with everyone and it's not a big deal" attitude, so as to break through any nervous barriers immediately as well as to establish physicality and comfort.

Do any of you guys do this? Do you do other things along the same lines? I think back to awkward dates I've had and how they might've gone differently had I done something like this right away.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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brian123

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I'd just act confident with them. If they go for the hug, then go for it. Otherwise, sometimes I do the half hug/pat on the back when saying hello like that.
 

WC2

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Hugs are for friends and funerals.

When you first meet a girl anything goes as long as you're confident about it. I usually go for an underhand handshake before she can even stick her hand out there and say anything. "I'm WC2 nice to meet you."

Easy as that.

As long as you're taking the initiative and leading her into the introduction, it's fine.

I don't think I've ever really hugged a girl unless she was in some real mental instability. Usually a kiss on the cheek with a hand on the hip to a female acquaintance will suffice. You're not laying a kiss on the lips, but you're still showing her you're not afraid to touch her.
 

mfd1830

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I don't know, maybe a hug isn't the right thing, but I always feel like after you've chatted with a girl for a couple minutes, have gotten the number and then meet her somewhere for the first date, there's always a little awkwardness right when you see eachother. Because at that point you're basically still strangers; you've only talked a short while, maybe a week ago, and now you have to quickly re-establish the rapport that you had that created the attraction and got the number in the first place. Maybe it's something that could be said in words? Am I thinking too much about nothing?

These kinds of dates have never went that well for me and I feel like these simple things that diffuse awkwardness and make us both comfortable immediately are what matters most for making it a success.
 
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