"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Silverwex's Bulking Thread
- Thread starter silverwex
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
silverwex
Master Don Juan
Date: 22 - November - 2004
Current Weight: 164lbs (Approx.)
Weight Gained: +2lbs
Body Changes: None that stand out but thats maybe coz I see myself every day!
Might take a week off next week or the week after...
silverwex
Master Don Juan
Date: 06 - December - 2004
Current Weight: 165lbs (Approx.)
Weight Gained: +1lb
NOTE: The least amount I've gained, in a fortnight, since I started bulking. Could it be that I'm reaching a plateau...?!
Congratulations! Keep it up!
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I thought i might want to let you know that, if you keep your reps 6 or less, you are working for strenght. And if you do 7 or more, you will be working for hypertrophy. In your wokrout, it looks like you average less than 6 reps. Maybe if you increase the rep, you'd get better result.
Also, isometrics have been known to be really good in putting on muscle mass.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
silverwex
Master Don Juan
Oni: Well it seems to be working quite well for me so far. I think ill stick with it for another while anyway.
silverwex
Master Don Juan
Date: 04 - January - 2005
Current Weight: 168lbs (Approx.)
Weight Gained: NONE
NOTE: No weight gained! Actually i think i may have lost a pound or something. Must have something to do with the week off. Damn! Think ill refrain from taking a week off in future...
Also, each workout day is changed, now it's:
MONDAY: BICEP/BACK DAY
WEDNESDAY: TRICEP/CHEST/SHOULDERS DAY
FRIDAY: LEG DAY
By the way, is a 'split' a workout day?
silverwex
Master Don Juan
Date: 17 - January - 2005
Current Weight: 169lbs (Approx.)
Weight Gained: +1lb
NOTE: Target reached! But wanna get to 190 now. Seriously thinking of buying a new bench, 140kg olympic weight set and a POWER RACK! Thatll do me for life id say!
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
belividere
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2005
- Messages
- 956
- Reaction score
- 5
- Age
- 47
I'm just getting back after a long break and should get around to posting a progress thread of my own soon enough. From my previous experience though I didn't hit a plateau until my third year of lifting. It took me that long to gain 30lbs of muscle though. Of that 30lbs I think about half was gained in my first year. The rest was slowly gained the following 2 or 3 yrs. We all have different bodies though and even after I gained that weight I was content and maintained a constant cutting vs. bulking phase. Even when in a cutting phase I was gaining strenght though. One thing I wish I would have done then and am going to do this time is keep a log of my bf% as well as weight.
Anyways thanks for the inspiration.
Nah, you don't actually.
Some pointers for you, to help you continue making (better) progress into the future.
I'm not sure if you think the mass you've gained so far is "all muscle", but if you do, well, I don't know how to say this nicely...it isn't. If it is, you'd better call up some research institutes, because I'm pretty sure they've never seen anything like that in their lives.
Anyway, what's the deal with only weighing yourself every two weeks? Is it because you don't have any scales at home, and have to go somewhere to weigh yourself? If so, get some. And start monitoring your weight more regularly. Because that way you'll get a better idea of the way your eating and working out (but mostly eating, let's be serious) is affecting your weight.
Are you strict with your eating? In the two week period prior to the above weighing, were you consuming the minimum calories you need for weight gain? If you didn't gain any weight, either you weren't eating as much as you thought you were (most likely), or your metabolism is higher, meaning you need to bump up the amount of calories you're consuming in order to keep gaining weight.
Are you taking any other measurements? Like biceps, waist, thigh, chest? What are they? If not, why not?
Otherwise, keep it up, you've made a good start.
Ok, I've looked over Ellis' program and I must say that this guy knows his ****. But you say you need to change a few things because of monotonous training.
You don't have to do 4 sets off every exercise like that, you can change around so the body doesn't get accustomed to it.
On chest day I believe that the incline should be the focus off the exercise, not the flat bench. I've had problem with the growth off the upper pectoral and when I started doing more incline the upper part started to grow. You don't have to do as much incline as solid wants, but do 3-4 sets to start off with and then do ordinary bench. And NO "ellis supersets", it's a heavy exercise, give yourself a little rest.
Dips is all good, but you can do them leaning forward a little to target the chest more or you can just lean a little and train your triceps. It's up to you.
Personally I can't do military press on the same day as bench because I lift **** then.
So my schedule looks like
Quads + shoulders + calves
chest + biceps + abs + forearms
Back + triceps (including traps)
if you like, you can try that out. It seem to work for me, but I've expermiented and tested to find what's fitting me.
Shrugs can be debated all night if it's back or shoulders, I say it's back because the traps goes down nearly halfway down the back. You can vary this around a little by doing T-bars if you like, standing a 45° erect. Power cleans is all good too.
On leg day, I see no reason to change anything off the major stuff, however, if you are going to do supersets then do opposing muscles. Ie. not squats and leg extension or stiff leg deads and hamstring curls... do squats + hamstring curls and stiff legs + extensions. Ben talked alot by the effectiveness off opposing lifting when supersetting.
On back day I'd throw in some deadlifts, real ones, not stiff legged. They are a solid core off any workout so not doing them at all is just plain stupid.
You might want to throw in some power cleans, T-bars or close grip chin ups (great for biceps). Drop the "supersets" though and focus on regular lifting. Well, do me a favor and drop all supersets that isn't opposing muscle groups. Supersets is used to train the antagonist off the muscle you train, biceps-triceps, chest+lats, quads+hamstrings... they take advantage off the already strong bloodflow in the muscle if I remember correctly. Power cleans are good for developing strength and can be a good substitute for deadlifts if you go very heavy on deadlifts all the time. Maybe deadlifting every other week and powercleaning the other week.
For the reverse grip thing. You can do them, but your forearms will be dead pumped if you do deadlifts. My forearms are pretty big compared to my arms and i give all the credit to the deadlifts.
For abs, give this one a try and tell me if you can get a worse soreness in your abs with any other exercise:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/RectusAbdominis/CBLyingStraightLegHipRaise.html
So to wrap it up:
Mind you, this things might be completly wrong for you, so don't assume they are all good, try them out if you like, if they don't work, change back or find a way that works for you.
Current Chest:
4 sets flat bench +burnout and superset with incline
4 sets shoulder press + burnout and superset with side raises
4 sets shrugs + burnout
5 sets dips (no attached weight) + superset with pushdowns
4 set crunches.
If you like, try this:
3 sets Incline db bench press 4-8 reps on all
3 sets flat bench with db (exchange for barbell every 4th week) 4-8 reps on all
3 sets off military presses
2 sets off lateral side raises
3 set off dips WITH attached weight no more than 8 reps
2 sets off skull crushers to finish those suckers off, can do a progressive set once a month
3 sets off abs or forearms, choose one. Can do progressive set once a month.
Move shrugs to back day.
progressive set (don't remember if it's the real name): do 4 sets in one set the LAST work set off the exercise. Ie without a break between lift for example 8x40 7x30 7x20 5x15 or sim. This will burn out the muscle dead hard.
Leg day:
4 sets off squats + burnout + superset with extensions
4 sets off stiff leg deads + burnout + superset with curls
strip set to failure on calves
reverse crunches
If you like, try this:
4 sets off Squats 4-8 reps all!
4 sets off stiff leg deads 4-8 reps
4 sets off standing calves raises. 6-10 reps go hardcore
4 sets off the ab exercise I linked to =) 6-10 rep - Can do progressive set once a month
3 sets off forearm curls or grip training <- can do progressive set once a month, not grip though
*grip training is only necessary if you go heavy on deadlifts, never train grip and deadlifts on the same day.
Back day
4 sets Wide grip pull-downs
4 sets off one arm rows + burnout and superset with pulldowns
4 sets dumbell curls superset each set with ez-curls with reverse grip
4 sets off crunches.
If you like, try this:
3 sets off deadlifts 4-8 reps
3 sets off pull ups or chin ups with shoulder wide grip if you manage more than 10, add weight
2-3 sets off T-bars/bent over rows 4-8 reps
3 sets off shrugs 6-10
3 sets off ez curls with normal grip 4-8 reps
3 sets off straight bar curls - if you can manage 4-8 reps
or try this every once in a while:
4 sets off power cleans 4-6 reps don't go too heavy until you get the form though
3-4 sets off T-bars/bent over rows 4-8
4 sets off close grip Chin-ups not more than 8-10, if you can do more, add weight
2 sets off barbell curls
3 sets off shrugs 6-10 reps
Well that's it, hope it was helpful. If someone disagree or want to add anything, please do.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.