Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Silence after good first date

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
Last night I went on a date with a new girl I've meet through Instagram. We texted for a few days and I asked her out. On date things went really well, she really expressed high interest in me and things I do, you know she did all the things girl do when she likes a guy like occasional touching, complimenting etc.

Now at the beginning of a date I was putting my hands on her leg but she said she don't do that on first date. As the date was progressing I guess she became more comfortable and she was very receptional for my touches. As we were saying good bye, maybe last two three minutes, I pulled her to me and we started making out. She was fighting a bit but she liked it and returned my kisses.

Now after the date I didn't text her, I went to sleep and that's it. Today I sent her occasional flirty voice message and there was /is no response. I could tell she's online as it shows and she's posting on Instagram so I know for a fact she got that message.

Its funny because we really had great vibe, I was initiating making out doing my moves and I really thought she was gonna be crazy about me. I already told her on date that I don't like girls who play games like hard to get, I only believe in matual interest.

What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking should I call her one last time in maybe two days to set up a date and if she don't pick up or says she's "busy" to move on or I'm thinking moving on right now.
 

powersize

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2019
Messages
336
Reaction score
222
Age
30
Location
Europe
Give her some time. If she will not reply reach her out in 2-3 weeks.

But in general if the girl does not reply for 1 day it should tell you something
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
4,128
Reaction score
3,666
Age
31
Location
Sweden
I would recommend not doing anything. Women arent stupid and dont have amnesia, they see that youve messaged them, if they dont reply it simply means they are not interested. Trying to spam her into changing her mind wont change that. If she wants to see you (or keep you as an orbiter), she will send you a message.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,600
Reaction score
3,308
Age
48
From your description, I feel you were very physically aggressive with her. That isn't exactly a criticism - different people have different approaches and different women will respond differently to it. It will make some women really wet and it will make some other women really afraid and wanting to humor you enough to stay on your good side but will then never talk with you again. Between what you described, plus leaving her multiple voice messages the very next day, I'd say your approach was probably way too aggressive with this girl.

Bottom line: Just because you thought the date went great doesn't mean she felt the same way.
 

activeshooter

New Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
3
Reaction score
2
“Impatience is the often the handmaiden of failed game.”

Withdraw and reengage in a couple weeks. For the time being, divert your attention to more important matters and women that are actually providing sex
 

SargeMaximus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
2,010
Age
36
Never been my experience. That's not a normal behavior unless you are feeling with weird chicks.
This is my experience from back when I was doing normal game. Go for drinks, conversation, light kino, basic pua stuff.
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
From your description, I feel you were very physically aggressive with her. That isn't exactly a criticism - different people have different approaches and different women will respond differently to it. It will make some women really wet and it will make some other women really afraid and wanting to humor you enough to stay on your good side but will then never talk with you again. Between what you described, plus leaving her multiple voice messages the very next day, I'd say your approach was probably way too aggressive with this girl.

Bottom line: Just because you thought the date went great doesn't mean she felt the same way.
No i only sent one voice message and it was a chill one. She even said on date about some future plans which I even on date had suspicioun about, but I never encountered girl being really interested in me on date to go completely silent. It's cowardish behavior.

Also she said that she's afraid of me, that I look like a tough guy, she admits thats sexy to her but is afraid of me lol.
 
Last edited:

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
I would recommend not doing anything. Women arent stupid and dont have amnesia, they see that youve messaged them, if they dont reply it simply means they are not interested. Trying to spam her into changing her mind wont change that. If she wants to see you (or keep you as an orbiter), she will send you a message.
I already went on a date with another girl this noon. I liked that girl from last night but I don't want to run after no one.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
2,258
Age
34
Now at the beginning of a date I was putting my hands on her leg but she said she don't do that on first date.
1/ Wrong move. "The beginning of the 1st date" is not the right time for body contact like that. She doesn't want to be treated like a wh0re, you know?

As the date was progressing I guess she became more comfortable and she was very receptional for my touches. As we were saying good bye, maybe last two three minutes, I pulled her to me and we started making out. She was fighting a bit but she liked it and returned my kisses.
2/ So far so good.

Now after the date I didn't text her, I went to sleep and that's it. Today I sent her occasional flirty voice message and there was /is no response. I could tell she's online as it shows and she's posting on Instagram so I know for a fact she got that message.
3/ Flirty voice message should come from her, not you. Besides, you couldn't wait, could you? What you did was the equivalent of baking a cake and constantly opening up the oven's door to check the cake. And more importantly, after a supposedly "good 1st date", any message from your side must be an invitation for a date with DEFINITE DATE & TIME, not "flirty voice message".

What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking should I call her one last time in maybe two days to set up a date and if she don't pick up or says she's "busy" to move on or I'm thinking moving on right now.
Girls of this centurey flake like crazy because they are simply having too many options. Wait at least 1-2 weeks until you ask her out again.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
2,258
Age
34
I would recommend not doing anything. Women arent stupid and dont have amnesia, they see that youve messaged them, if they dont reply it simply means they are not interested. Trying to spam her into changing her mind wont change that. If she wants to see you (or keep you as an orbiter), she will send you a message.
"The medium is the message". Never forget this.
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
1/ Wrong move. "The beginning of the 1st date" is not the right time for body contact like that. She doesn't want to be treated like a wh0re, you know?



2/ So far so good.



3/ Flirty voice message should come from her, not you. Besides, you couldn't wait, could you? What you did was the equivalent of baking a cake and constantly opening up the oven's door to check the cake. And more importantly, after a supposedly "good 1st date", any message from your side must be an invitation for a date with DEFINITE DATE & TIME, not "flirty voice message".



Girls of this centurey flake like crazy because they are simply having too many options. Wait at least 1-2 weeks until you ask her out again.
It was not like the moment we meet, it was more 40 minutes in that I touched her properly. Also I didn't thought anything wrong to text her the day later, some girls text me first after date some I text or call so I didn't give thought about it because it was never an issue before
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,497
Reaction score
2,631
Last night I went on a date with a new girl I've meet through Instagram. We texted for a few days and I asked her out. On date things went really well, she really expressed high interest in me and things I do, you know she did all the things girl do when she likes a guy like occasional touching, complimenting etc.

Now at the beginning of a date I was putting my hands on her leg but she said she don't do that on first date. As the date was progressing I guess she became more comfortable and she was very receptional for my touches. As we were saying good bye, maybe last two three minutes, I pulled her to me and we started making out. She was fighting a bit but she liked it and returned my kisses.

Now after the date I didn't text her, I went to sleep and that's it. Today I sent her occasional flirty voice message and there was /is no response. I could tell she's online as it shows and she's posting on Instagram so I know for a fact she got that message.

Its funny because we really had great vibe, I was initiating making out doing my moves and I really thought she was gonna be crazy about me. I already told her on date that I don't like girls who play games like hard to get, I only believe in matual interest.

What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking should I call her one last time in maybe two days to set up a date and if she don't pick up or says she's "busy" to move on or I'm thinking moving on right now.
Move on.

Modern Man Advice
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,600
Reaction score
3,308
Age
48
No i only sent one voice message and it was a chill one. She even said on date about some future plans which I even on date had suspicioun about, but I never encountered girl being really interested in me on date to go completely silent. It's cowardish behavior.

Also she said that she's afraid of me, that I look like a tough guy, she admits thats sexy to her but is afraid of me lol.
That's good feedback from her and not surprising to me. So do take that feedback and adjust your calibration a bit. I would suggest starting the touching in platonic areas first, and start doing it when you are picking up warmth from her. Based on her reaction, you then migrate to the more erogenous zones. Going straight for the leg early on in the date isn't the worst thing you can do but given that you have received feedback and given that you "look like a tough guy", you're going to have to ease up and build up some comfort with women. The part about her struggling when you grabbed her was also a bit of a red flag to me when combined with the other stuff. I mean, good for you for not making the mistake so many men do which is to not physically escalate, but again, I just think the signs were there that you were coming on too hard and you didn't pay attention to the signs and adjust your approach accordingly.

As for appearing really interested and then ghosting, she was probably really afraid of you and worried what you might do if she flat out rejected you F2F so that's why it went down like it did.

While I really believe my intuition on what happened in this scenario is accurate, do know that even if you do EVERYTHING right, girls will still ghost sometimes. You'll never know why. It has happened to me plenty of times. I've had dates where I couldn't stop thinking of how flawlessly I executed everything and how perfect the chemistry was, but she still ghosted. All you can do is just move on in those situations. And with this girl, you still have to move on, but at least you can take a little feedback for areas of adjustment from it.
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
955
Reaction score
901
Age
26
That's good feedback from her and not surprising to me. So do take that feedback and adjust your calibration a bit. I would suggest starting the touching in platonic areas first, and start doing it when you are picking up warmth from her. Based on her reaction, you then migrate to the more erogenous zones. Going straight for the leg early on in the date isn't the worst thing you can do but given that you have received feedback and given that you "look like a tough guy", you're going to have to ease up and build up some comfort with women. The part about her struggling when you grabbed her was also a bit of a red flag to me when combined with the other stuff. I mean, good for you for not making the mistake so many men do which is to not physically escalate, but again, I just think the signs were there that you were coming on too hard and you didn't pay attention to the signs and adjust your approach accordingly.

As for appearing really interested and then ghosting, she was probably really afraid of you and worried what you might do if she flat out rejected you F2F so that's why it went down like it did.

While I really believe my intuition on what happened in this scenario is accurate, do know that even if you do EVERYTHING right, girls will still ghost sometimes. You'll never know why. It has happened to me plenty of times. I've had dates where I couldn't stop thinking of how flawlessly I executed everything and how perfect the chemistry was, but she still ghosted. All you can do is just move on in those situations. And with this girl, you still have to move on, but at least you can take a little feedback for areas of adjustment from it.
Thanks for input and advice and I agree with you. I guess I didn't read the signals well but I always act the same, you know we have a walk or drink then we kiss I always initiate kiss on first date and most of the times girls reciprocate that. Because you never really know what's the situation until you go for it. I liked her but it's time to move on.
 
Top