"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sif this would work in real life. movies are bullsh|t.

T

Tails

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anyone seen the movie mo' money? staring damon wayans, his brother and stacey dash?

well get this right, him and his bro are a couple of con artists. one day they are trying to make cash on the side of the road, busy place mind you, damon wayans character is selling kids books right. this fine gal (stacey dash) comes along and wants to buy one, so he's thinkin', god dayem! he wants her right.

so anyway, she starts making her way to work and what does this crazy fuker damon do? he follows her trying to chat her up (mind you he knows his stuff, C+F, etc), but he follows her all the way to work, asking her out on a date. wtf? isn't this stalking?
and she's like, "hehe" *giggle giggle*

so anyway, she walks off and goes to work, so he heads back like "dayem :( "

so he see's a "wanted" poster in the admin area and applies for it. (the place she works).

he get's the job, then he's working where she works soon. he starts pulling more moves. she's already got a boyfriend, who she doesn't really like anymore and soon dumps him. she see's how funny and happy damon's character is. he makes her laugh alot (good stuff).

but, isn't this like a little desperate? i don't see how he ends up getting the girl in the end. he was being desperate, he was practically stalking her.

is this bullsh|t or what? i don't think that'd work. lol.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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K

Knicknack

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it's a ficticious movie. just laugh and don't try to understand it. if he did all that BS in real life she'd probably have a restraining order against him...
 
P

Paradox

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AFC's get away with this kind of stuff all of the time.

I'm sure somewhere in the world that this is a true story for someone.
 
P

Porky

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Movies should all be taken completely seriously.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

Crank_It_Up

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and let's not stray from the almighty dj bible, it is absolutely the only way to get a girl, nothing else could possibly work, never think for yourself and actually try to understand your target, just blindly follow the dj bible. The thought that the character in the movie was successful while not strictly following the dj bible will cause me to lose a lot of sleep tonight.
 
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