"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Shy Girl and Back-to-Chump Ways

S

Schwank

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I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. Everything is okay, except I find myself regressing into my chump ways. Normally it's much easier to be "alpha" around more assertive girls; but this girl is soft-spoken, doesn't cuss, doesn't bad-mouth other people, doesn't drink or smoke, and so forth. Hence I tend to be overly polite, excessively apologetic and very careful with my choice words when talking to her (in fear of offending the girl). Does it pay to behave like this around these types of girls? Or do girls such as this like getting their chops busted and being teased?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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K

Kirro

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Schwank said:
I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. Everything is okay, except I find myself regressing into my chump ways. Normally it's much easier to be "alpha" around more assertive girls; but this girl is soft-spoken, doesn't cuss, doesn't bad-mouth other people, doesn't drink or smoke, and so forth. Hence I tend to be overly polite, excessively apologetic and very careful with my choice words when talking to her (in fear of offending the girl). Does it pay to behave like this around these types of girls? Or do girls such as this like getting their chops busted and being teased?
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You should still be alpha with this chick, be assertive, lead the interactions etc. She's shy so it'll be easier. Do NOT be afraid to offend her, I'd just say try to tone it down a little. Don't change completely just ease off the gas a bit if you know what I'm saying.

Trust me, shy or not she'll still think you're a chump if you start going all wimpy.
 
A

AmIAFC

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I can tell you from experience that you never put your guard down with a shy girl. Shy females are more hypersensitive and in need of assertive males, especially if they know they're shy, to compensate/offset their passive nature. When your tub is filled with cold water, you don't dump warm water to make it more tolerable; you pour in hot water to create the ideal temperature.

My old shy chic dumped me a few years ago. Prior to us parting, she was slowly asserting herself and taking charge, so I guess she felt she was wearing the proverbial pants in the relationship and got tired of it.
 
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